Posts Tagged ‘coalminer’s granddaughter’

Sarah Palin emails Rush Limbaugh

Saturday, February 6th, 2010

If you've been paying attention to the news at all, you might have seen the conflict between Sarah Palin and Rush Limbaugh. Apparently, Sarah Palin demanded that President Obama fire his Chief of Staff, Rahm Emanuel, after it was reported that Emanuel said "fucking retarded" in a private meeting. She considered any version of the use of the word "retard" to be disrespectful.

Separately, Rush Limbaugh grew frustrated with protests around Emanuel's use of "retard", saying "our politically correct society is acting like some giant insult's taken place by calling a bunch of people who are retards, retards."

Now, you see, we have the bloated, drug addicted face and voice of the Republican Party butting heads with Alaska's biggest disaster since the Exxon Valdez crash. How will those Republicans who follow Fox News blindly know who to listen to? Should they go rogue or hope Obama fails? Which is it? This could break the Republican Party in half!

Luckily, Sarah Palin had a solution. I've obtained an exclusive look at the email she wrote to Rush to try to defuse the entire situation.

"Dear Rush,

I think we can both agree that it is in the best interest of this great country of ours to come to an agreement. I do have a problem with the word "retard", but I suggest as a compromise that the word "tard" is more acceptable because it has fewer letters. It also has a bit of a cutesy tone to it, and Toddy says that I do well with cutesy.

So if you would be willing to redirect your anger about people protesting Emanuel's statement, I won't worry about my little tard having his feelings hurt. This is for the greater good, remember, and no matter what, we have to compromise whatever principles we have to make sure that nigger doesn't get another term.

Love and winks,
Sarah."


In other Avita-news, today is the 38th birthday of my good friend and Geekette Supreme, Heather! She doesn't look a day over 25, especially when she's in uniform. Happy birthday, Heather!

Christmas Card

Monday, December 22nd, 2008

This was going to be the Christmas card I sent out this year, but I decided against it. It just felt too hackneyed to me (click to enlarge):

Jesus vs. Santa

The one I actually sent will get posted after Christmas sometime, once everybody's received theirs. On Thursday, I finally finished the card design and mailed out 275 cards across the US and Canada, also reaching the UK, Australia, and the Philippines. And by "I mailed out", I mean I provided a company with the image for the card, an address book, and let them print the cards, add stamps, and mail them for me. It's the thought that counts, though.

Also, thanks to Heather for the delicious-looking chocolate pecan pie (and gift!) that arrived on Friday. I haven't had a chance to eat it yet, but I plan on consuming the entire thing in the immediate future. You are awesome!

Throbbing cock of doom

Tuesday, October 21st, 2008

Sometimes people come into my office, see my action figures, my life-sized Yoda, my 30,000 comics and say, "Adam, could you be a bigger geek?" And I just point to today's guest poster, Heather, and say, "Yes."

She and her husband have matching stormtrooper costumes that they've worn on multiple occasions. They met at space camp, and Heather has a geek's eye for tearing apart the logic of a fictional situation. It's just one of the many reasons that she's so awesome.


There I was, trolling teh Interwebs for some kickass Lolcats action when I saw it. Staring at me was this really whiny tweet from Avitable about Oh poor, pitiful me! I have to go to St. Croix! *WAH!* I'll be on the beach! *Boo hoo!* And I won't have any Interwebs or Britt to kick me in the nuts! *Sniff!* And I forgot to draw a penis on my pitiful 7th anniversary picture! *Whine!* I just don't know what to do! Could some of you guys write posts for me since I'm a big pussy and can't pre-write my own shit? So, I took pity on the bastard. I told him to shut the fuck up and that I'd come up with something guaranteed to make you guys… click on another blog in your readers.

So, here it is. My interpretation of Adam's need for a bigger schlong, told in the spirit of Adam's stick-figure drawings. And since it's October and close to Halloween, I added in a little Edward Gorey spice for good measure.

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