Tag Archives: comedy

The Aristocrats

Posted on Wednesday, November 9, 2011 by Avitable

Please don’t read this post. It is the most vile, disgusting, horrible, evil thing I’ve ever written, and I am neither exaggerating nor being sarcastic. A talent agent is sitting in his office when a family walks in. The agent … Continue reading →

Posted in Dirty talk | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 44 Comments

My Asteroid List

Posted on Wednesday, November 9, 2011 by Avitable

So, we all almost died last night as a giant asteroid passed closer to us than the moon. There was no ragtag team of misfit drillers turned astronauts on a mission to save us, no nuclear bomb contingency plan that … Continue reading →

Posted in General | Tagged , , , , | 29 Comments

My Interview with Andy Rooney

Posted on Sunday, November 6, 2011 by Avitable

Andy Rooney, nonagenarian curmudgeon, died over the weekend at the age of 92. I sat down for a posthumous interview with him: Me: So, Mr. Rooney . . . AR: Please, call me Mr. Rooney. Me: I wanted to just … Continue reading →

Posted in Avitable Interviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 31 Comments

Two Denny’s waitresses and I walk into a strip club …

Posted on Thursday, November 3, 2011 by Avitable

Two Denny’s waitresses and I walk into a strip club . . . Sounds like the setup to a bad joke with an even worse Moons Over My Hammy punchline, doesn’t it? If only.  Instead, it was just the icing … Continue reading →

Posted in General | Tagged , , , , , | 46 Comments

Occupy Avitable

Posted on Friday, October 14, 2011 by Avitable

My take on the 99% Occupy Wall Street movement Continue reading →

Posted in Politics | Tagged , , , , , | 24 Comments

My expert guide on how to create a resume and get hired for any job

Posted on Wednesday, October 5, 2011 by Avitable

If you’ve been paying attention, you’ve learned how to write well and how to be funny. Those are not the only topics of which I consider myself to be one of the world’s foremost experts, and so the series continues … Continue reading →

Posted in Avitable Gives Advice | Tagged , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

How to bring the fun back to September 11th

Posted on Sunday, September 11, 2011 by Avitable

Today is the 10-year anniversary of the date that Osama bin Laden, operating independently from the directives and guidelines of his purported religion, attacked the United States by hijacking planes and flying them into the Twin Towers in New York … Continue reading →

Posted in General | Tagged , , , , , | 46 Comments

Third World Responses to First World Problems

Posted on Monday, August 29, 2011 by Avitable

First World Problems Third World Response There’s a fly in my soup. What’s soup and why would you complain about having protein in it? The weatherman said it wasn’t going to rain so I played golf and got wet. Hopefully … Continue reading →

Posted in I am evil | Tagged , , , , , | 20 Comments

My interview with Amy Winehouse

Posted on Saturday, July 23, 2011 by Avitable

Grammy-award winning crackhead Amy Winehouse was found dead today at the age of 27.  I sat down with her post-demise: Me: Thank you for sitting down with me today. AW: No problem. I’m ‘appy t’ be ‘ere. Me: Also, congratulations … Continue reading →

Posted in Avitable Interviews | Tagged , , , , , , , | 27 Comments

Things I Care About More Than The Casey Anthony Trial

Posted on Sunday, July 3, 2011 by Avitable

The Casey Anthony trial is finally winding down, possibly going to jury deliberation today, and I know that many people will be riveted to their televisions, waiting to see what will happen.  Most of them have ill-formed opinions and ridiculous … Continue reading →

Posted in General | Tagged , , , | 11 Comments