Tag Archives: comedy

2011 Listgasm: The Top Ten Future Events of 2012 That Haven’t Happened Yet

Posted on Friday, December 30, 2011 by Avitable

For my final list of 2011, I thought I’d indulge in a little prognostication and whimsy. After all, I’ve written about movies, blog posts, Christmas gifts, and television shows, so what else is there to discuss? 2012 is going to … Continue reading →

Posted in General | Tagged , , , , , | 14 Comments

The Nine Worst Abbreviations and Slang Used Today in Texting, Twitter and Facebook

Posted on Wednesday, December 21, 2011 by Avitable

I understand.  You’re on Twitter and you have something so important to say, but you can’t get it into 140 characters.  Or you’re texting a friend and don’t have enough time to write full words before you crash into the … Continue reading →

Posted in Rants | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 81 Comments

My Interview with Kim Jong Il

Posted on Monday, December 19, 2011 by Avitable

Recluse, despot, and insane cinephile Kim Jong Il, leader of North Korea for over sixteen years, died on Saturday after complications from working too hard, according to reports from North Korea sources. Even though he was notoriously publicity-shy, I managed … Continue reading →

Posted in Avitable Interviews | Tagged , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

On bullying, homsexuality, and Jonah Mowry

Posted on Monday, December 5, 2011 by Avitable

Of course, this video makes no sense unless you’ve seen the original video, by Jonah Mowry, a young teen who is struggling with being gay and getting bullied at school: Or, if you want to see the two of them … Continue reading →

Posted in I am evil, satire, Vlog | Tagged , , , , , , , | 35 Comments

Don’t look any further for your Black Friday needs – I’ll be your huckleberry.

Posted on Friday, November 25, 2011 by Avitable

[Originally posted on 11/16/10. Slightly edited and reposted due to turkey-induced coma.] Forget lining up outside Target or Walmart at midnight to get marginal deals on gifts that nobody needs. You can get all of your Black Friday needs met … Continue reading →

Posted in General | Tagged , , , , , | 6 Comments

The Avitable Perspective on Joe Paterno and the Penn State Scandal

Posted on Monday, November 14, 2011 by Avitable

Joe-Pa, Joe-Pa, Joe-Pa-dee doo I’ve got a perfect puzzle for you Joe-Pa, Joe-Pa, Joe-Pa-da dee If you are wise, you will listen to me Who do you blame when your man is a creep? Touching and leering at the kids … Continue reading →

Posted in satire | Tagged , , , , , , | 11 Comments

The Aristocrats

Posted on Wednesday, November 9, 2011 by Avitable

Please don’t read this post. It is the most vile, disgusting, horrible, evil thing I’ve ever written, and I am neither exaggerating nor being sarcastic. A talent agent is sitting in his office when a family walks in. The agent … Continue reading →

Posted in Dirty talk | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 44 Comments

My Asteroid List

Posted on Wednesday, November 9, 2011 by Avitable

So, we all almost died last night as a giant asteroid passed closer to us than the moon. There was no ragtag team of misfit drillers turned astronauts on a mission to save us, no nuclear bomb contingency plan that … Continue reading →

Posted in General | Tagged , , , , | 29 Comments

My Interview with Andy Rooney

Posted on Sunday, November 6, 2011 by Avitable

Andy Rooney, nonagenarian curmudgeon, died over the weekend at the age of 92. I sat down for a posthumous interview with him: Me: So, Mr. Rooney . . . AR: Please, call me Mr. Rooney. Me: I wanted to just … Continue reading →

Posted in Avitable Interviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 31 Comments

Two Denny’s waitresses and I walk into a strip club …

Posted on Thursday, November 3, 2011 by Avitable

Two Denny’s waitresses and I walk into a strip club . . . Sounds like the setup to a bad joke with an even worse Moons Over My Hammy punchline, doesn’t it? If only.  Instead, it was just the icing … Continue reading →

Posted in General | Tagged , , , , , | 46 Comments