The One Where I …
- Pose for Playgirl
- Talk about my divorce 2 3
- Review sex toys
- Horrify you with my Aristocrats joke
- Discuss my weight loss
- Prove I'm an expert 2 3
- Show you my balls
- Interview my dead grandmother
- Want to have a child
- Go on my first date as a divorced man
- Teach you about dirty talk
- Go to a strip club for the first time
- Talk to a heroin addict
- Discuss auto-erotica
- Console a grieving mother
- Write a letter to my body
- Review my life lessons
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- Andy Rooney
- Steve Jobs
- Amy Winehouse
- Leonard Stern, creator of Mad Libs
- Jack Kevorkian
- Randy "Macho Man" Savage
- Osama bin Laden
- Elizabeth Taylor
- Jack LaLanne
- Leslie Nielsen
- Bob Guccione
- Barbara Billingsley
- Tony Curtis
- Dennis Hopper
- Gary Coleman
- Chinese murderer**
- Casey, aka Moosh In Indy*
- Adolf Hitler
- Peter Graves
- Corey Haim
- My Grandmother**
- Roy Scheider
- Zelda Rubinstein, J.D. Salinger
- Brittany Murphy
- Oral Roberts
- John Lennon
- Ken Ober
- Henry Gibson
- Patrick Swayze
- Ted Kennedy
- John Hughes
- Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett
- Walter Cronkite
- Billy Mays
- Ed McMahon
- Stephen Hawking*
- Robert Novak
- Caylee Anthony
- David Carradine
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
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Tag Archives: crystal
Happy Mother’s Day
To all the moms out there, Happy Mother’s Day: Also, today is the birthday of one bad-ass mother, Crystal! Happy 21st birthday, Crys!
Today is like Jesus’s birthday but more important, see?
Today is the hrmrmrth anniversary of Crystal‘s 21st birthday. In her honor, I wrote this poem. And by wrote, I mean stole from “So I Married an Axe Murderer” and changed the words: Crystal. Kerrr-iss-tal. Cool cougar creating her canvas. … Continue reading
Posted in Bloggers
Tagged avitable, birthday, comedy, cryskernan, crystal, humor, mike myers, so i married an axe murderer, this poem sucks
16 Comments
Flashback: King of the Internet
One year ago today, reposted because I’m lazy on Sundays now: Here is the direct link. Today’s guest post is brought to you by the gorgeous and powerful Crystal.
Posted in Substitute Avitable
Tagged avitable, crystal, guest post, rehash, repost, Vlog, youtube
15 Comments
Quizvitable
Stole this idea from the lovely and amazing Hilly: How well do you know Avitable? Here’s a quiz just for you, to see if you’re just a minor Avitafan, a hardcore Avitageek, or Britt. And as an incentive, the person … Continue reading
Comfort food is . . .
A Double Whopper with fries. A grocery store-style birthday cake, cold enough that the icing is hard. Hot apple pie with ice-cold vanilla ice cream. What’s your comfort food? For other types of comfort, go visit the gorgeous raven-haired avatar … Continue reading
AvitaWeek 2008: Two for the price of one
In this penultimate day of AvitaWeek 2008 (my weeks end on Sunday, okay, fuckers?), I’m doing my typical Saturday vlog, with a twist! Today is my actual birthday (my 31st, NOT my 40th), and so, first, here’s a video done … Continue reading
Crystal
I haven’t quite gotten my webcam working yet, so I can’t do my Saturday vlog. Instead, I’ll give you a chance to see genius at action, with my goddess friend Crystal. I’m embedding this without her permission, but her message … Continue reading
King of the Internet
Here is the direct link. Today’s guest post is brought to you by the gorgeous and powerful Crystal.
Week in Review VII
Sorry about last week’s absence. This week, it’s the All Girl Week in Review! A bevy of beauties’ blogs that deserve your attention. Here is the image in a larger, easier-to-read format, without the image map. Amy stripped down naked … Continue reading
Posted in My Art
Tagged avitable, britt, burt-reynolds-mustache, burtsstache, crystal, midnight-therapy, miss britt, miss-misery, miss-misery-smiles, My Art, poppy, poppycede, week-in-review, wir, women
23 Comments








