The Duggar family is expecting another child. This will be their 19th. What the fuck? How do they even have sex anymore? It must be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.

In honor of their 19 spawn, here are some 19-numbered lists that may be of some help to the Duggar family and any other idiots who want to follow in their footsteps. [Credit goes to Britt for the post idea]

19 ways to know you have too many kids:

1. Toilet paper runs out every day
2. Mediators are needed for a family fight
3. You have to go through 10 names before you remember the right name for your kid
4. You lost one kid in the couch for three days one time without noticing
5. Family sports day requires a draft pick
6. Nike has approached you about opening up a sweatshop
7. Denny's changes its "Kids Eat Free" policy to limit 10 children
8. Teaching them how to drive ends up being a demolition derby
9. It takes fucking forever to get seated at Olive Garden
10. Angelina Jolie sends you hate mail
11. Ninjas
12. Your vagina makes a whistling sound when there's a breeze
13. Your kids have siblings that they've never spoken to in person
14. When 1 in 10 kids will experiment with drugs and you have two crackheads in your house
15. You've started pulling baby names from the phone book at random
16. You're not quite sure what silence is
17. The CDC is sent in when several kids have dirty diapers
18. Talking about the birds and bees requires a Power Point presentation, an auditorium, and engraved invitations
19. You can't sit on a barstool without sliding down to the floor

19 things that Michelle Duggar should put in her vagina instead of Jim Bob's cock:

1. Trampoline
2. Exit Sign
3. Turnstile
4. Geo Metro
5. Denver Broncos
6. Four bottles of wine (room temperature)
7. Ninjas
8. Steam room
9. Clothesline
10. Sponge
11. Tension cables
12. New bedroom
13. Shoe closet
14. Wet bar
15. Bouncer
16. 50" Plasma TV
17. Mini golf course
18. Topiary garden
19. Maternity ward

19 things that Jim Bob Duggar should put his cock into instead of Michelle's vagina:

1. Large bowl of jello
2. Freezer
3. Safety Deposit Box
4. Apple pie
5. Michelle's ass
6. Penis Hall of Fame
7. Headlock
8. Military School
9. Rehab
10. Paris (Hilton, not the city)
11. Kevlar
12. Ninjas
13. Something more comfortable
14. Retirement
15. Miss USA pageant
16. Microwave
17. My car (but out of my dreams)
18. A bottle of Valium
19. Bronze statue mold

19 things birth control methods they should try:

1. Hammer
2. Vise grips
3. Anal
4. Rubber band
5. Vagina Dentata
6. Pussy guillotine
7. Little helmet
8. Trampoline
9. Ninjas
10. Rosie O'Donnell
11. Pierced Urethra
12. Chastity belt
13. Donkey Punch
14. Fondue pot
15. Ebola
16. Nut punch
17. Fart in a can
18. Lasers
19. Sharks

In other Avita-news, we are giving away a free plane ticket to Orlando for this year's Halloween Party! Go here to buy a raffle ticket to get your chance to win!!