As most of you know, Ed McMahon died yesterday at the age of 86. And being the intrepid journalist that I am, I have his first posthumuous interview all ready just for you.

Me: Thanks for agreeing to speak with me so quickly after your demise.

Ed: Happy to be here, ha ha ha ha!

Me: So, you hosted The Price is Right for how many years?

Ed: Wha? That wasn't me, kid. That was Bob Barker.

Me: Oh. Are you the Wendy's guy?

Ed: No, that's Dave Thomas!

Me: That older man from Golden Girls?

Ed: No, that was Bea Arthur.

Me: The guy who sells oatmeal and was in Cocoon?

Ed: Nope. Wilford Brimley.

Me: The salad dressing dude?

Ed: Paul Newman.

Me: The guy who said that smoking was bad?

Ed: C. Everett Koop.

Me: Chicken man?

Ed: Colonel Sanders

Me: Died for our sins?

Ed: Jesus

Me: Electric flying guy?

Ed: Raiden

Me: Subject of a Warhol painting?

Ed: Can of Campbell's Soup

Me: Are you this?

Ed: That's a tuna fish sandwich.

Me: Well, who the fuck are you then?

Ed: I was Johnny Carson's announcer for thirty years.

Me: And Johnny Carson is . . .

Ed: The host of the Tonight Show!

Me: I thought that was Conan O'Brien?

Ed: Fuck this. I'm out of here.

Enjoy this interview? Check out my other interviews:

Stephen Hawking
Caylee Anthony
David Carradine
Martin Luther King, Jr.

(PS. Still no show this week. We're having trouble coming up with topics!)