Posts Tagged ‘ipod’

Winners and Boozers

Sunday, August 9th, 2009

First, an announcement about the Halloween party. We'll be disclosing the theme soon, and if you have any interest in attending (Saturday, October 24th in Altamonte Springs, FL), please submit your information below if you haven't already done so. I will be sending out emails about ticket sales, party updates, hotel and travel info, and more, and if you didn't submit your information, you'll miss out!

Your Name (required)

Your Email (required)

Any Message?

Second, thanks to all of you who entered last week's contest. Here are the original questions and correct answers, and congratulations to Metalmom for being the only person to correctly guess all 15!

1. My roommate and I once:
Made an adult film.
Zack and Miri Make a Porno

2. Never before in my life have I:
Found someone else who shared my true nature, even if she was an evil pig.
True Blood

3. High school was:
My last chance to tell Amanda how I feel.
Can't Hardly Wait (not Some Kind of Wonderful – that was not about telling Amanda how he felt)

4. When I’m nervous:
I make things on Mars.
Watchmen (Dr. Manhattan was nervous, which is why he went to Mars)

5. My hair:
Looks perfect even when I ride my scooter, thanks to my new hair-met.
Scrubs

6. When I was 5:
I shot my father in the head by accident.
The Quick and the Dead

7. When I turn my head left:
I wish I could. I cannot turn left in any way!
Zoolander

8. I should be:
Wearing a hat signed by Tom Landry. It's designed for a guy like me. I'm a guy like me.
The Simpsons (Hank Scorpio episode)

9. By this time next year:
I will be just like Christiane Amanpour.
Gilmore Girls

10. My favorite aunt is:
Uncle Frank's wife, aunt Jack.
Mrs. Doubtfire

11. I have a hard time understanding:
Why people cry.
Terminator 2 OR Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

12. My ideal breakfast is:
Pancakes made with a snow shovel.
Uncle Buck

13. If you visit my home town:
Bring cacao beans – they'll treat you like royalty.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory or Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

14. The animal I would like to see flying besides birds:
An elephant, gliding along on its ears.
Dumbo

15. Last night I:
Got trapped in a building with people who had rabies.
Quarantine

I tallied each correct answer, which was a total of 217 entries from 29 of you. I put the list into the randomizer at Random.org, and then I used the random integer generator to pick a number at random. Out of 217 entries, it chose #47, belonging to Lynn from Been There Done That. Congratulations, Lynn! You win the iPod – email me at adam at avitable dot com with your address so I can send you your prize.

To the rest of you, thanks for playing and I'll do this again sometime soon, so stay tuned!

If you're new to the horrors of Avitable.com, don't miss out. Subscribe to my RSS feed!

Tags: , , ,
Posted in Lazy Sunday Contest | 28 Comments »

Contest: Lazy Sunday is BACK!

Sunday, August 2nd, 2009

Many of you may not remember my contests that I ran every Sunday for an entire year. Each contest challenged your intellect, your knowledge of entertainment trivia and your luck. It was fun doing it, but it was a lot of work, and I spent over $1000 on prizes that I gave away.

This is the one year anniversary of the final contest, so I thought I'd bring it back for one week only. The rules are simple. I will go through Facebook or the web and pick one of those survey bulletins and answer 15 of the questions. Every answer contains a reference to a movie or a television show. In the comments, guess as many references as you can – some will be laughably easy and some will be very difficult. Every correct answer is like a raffle ticket – you get one chance to win per correct answer. If you get 1 right, your name goes in the proverbial hat. If you get 10 right, your name goes in ten times. Et cetera.

The contest ends Tuesday at midnight EST. I'll give the correct answers and the winner on the following Sunday.

This week the winner will receive a 1 GB iPod Shuffle!

MB813

Good luck!

1. My roommate and I once:
Made an adult film.

2. Never before in my life have I:
Found someone else who shared my true nature, even if she was an evil pig.

3. High school was:
My last chance to tell Amanda how I feel.

4. When I’m nervous:
I make things on Mars.

5. My hair:
Looks perfect even when I ride my scooter, thanks to my new hair-met.

6. When I was 5:
I shot my father in the head by accident.

7. When I turn my head left:
I wish I could. I cannot turn left in any way!

8. I should be:
Wearing a hat signed by Tom Landry. It's designed for a guy like me. I'm a guy like me.

9. By this time next year:
I will be just like Christiane Amanpour.

10. My favorite aunt is:
Uncle Frank's wife, aunt Jack.

11. I have a hard time understanding:
Why people cry.

12. My ideal breakfast is:
Pancakes made with a snow shovel.

13. If you visit my home town:
Bring cacao beans – they'll treat you like royalty.

14. The animal I would like to see flying besides birds:
An elephant, gliding along on its ears.

15. Last night I:
Got trapped in a building with people who had rabies.

Tags: , , , ,
Posted in Lazy Sunday Contest | 42 Comments »

5 Years of Avitable and the World Hasn't Ended Yet.

Thursday, June 18th, 2009

Today's post marks five years of blogging for me. 1,700 posts. 40,000 comments. One million visitors. When I first started blogging, Blog Explosion and Battle of the Blogs were two ways that people found out about new blogs to read. People rented out space on their sidebars for blogs to rent. You had to use Blogrolling to see which blogs were updated, or you could just click through to each blog in your blogroll each day to see if they wrote something new. Everybody still hated Dooce. And most of you weren't around. That first year was when I started reading some of you, although the exact dates are fuzzy.

I consider many people who I've only known online to be my friends. They've proven to be so by being there via email, phone, IM, or just through their comments, and the fact that I haven't met many of them in person in no way detracts from the quality of friend that they are. I've made many friends through my blog, and while not all of them have remained friends, I truly feel enriched through the sense of community that blogging creates, through the comments, the posts, and the feeling of belonging to a group. To something bigger.

Through TequilaCon, ConFab, the upcoming BlogHer, my Halloween parties (don't forget to sign up for the mailing list if you think you might want to come!), and random bloggers' visits to Orlando, I've had the chance to solidify the connections I've made online by seeing the three-dimensional person. The fully-fleshed personality behind the blogging voice. And I relish every opportunity to do so.

In the last six months, it seems like Twitter has been a crutch for lazy bloggers, which has led to less blogging and less commenting. It feels like it's led to shorter attention spans, post ideas boiled down to a tweet, and a transition from a small community to being lost in a huge crowded conversation. Yet, while I see the benefit of Twitter, blogging will always be what keeps me online.

Originally, I wanted to plan something huge for my fifth-year anniversary and have a week-long celebration, but I didn't have the time. So I have to compress all the awesomeness into one post. And what better way to do that than with a contest with an actual prize? This is to thank each and every one of you who took the time to comment, to email, to communicate with me in some way. For each of you who read the words that I write every day. For those of you who understand that this is just one aspect of my personality and of who I am. For anyone who has gotten to know me.

What's the prize?

An 8GB iPod touch!

What's the contest?

It's very simple. All you have to do is leave a comment and tell me one thing that you like about blogging. That's it. Oh, and wish me a happy anniversary of five years blogging!

The contest is open until Saturday, June 20th, at midnight EST. After that point, a random number will be drawn and the comment corresponding to that number will win the iPod Touch.

Good luck!

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Serious stuff | 455 Comments »

Lazy Sunday 50

Sunday, August 10th, 2008

Welcome to the 50th and final edition of Lazy Sunday!

I've been enjoying doing these contests but the time and effort involved writing them every Saturday started to seem reversely proportional to the number of people who entered. It also started getting more difficult to come up with clever answers that weren't rehashing old answers, so I think it's best to go out on a high note.

This week's prize is an Avitable prize pack containing the following:

  • A "Viva El Avitable" T-shirt in whatever size and color you want.
  • A six-pack of Avitable condoms.
  • An autographed drawing by me, of anything you want.
  • An iPod shuffle.
  • A $25 Amazon.com or iTunes gift certificate.
  • A guest post on your blog by me.
  • A one-night hotel stay in Altamonte Springs for the night of the Halloween party on November 1st. If you cannot come to the party, you can get an additional $25 Amazon.com or iTunes gift certificate instead.

For this week's contest, there are no answers – only questions! What television series, movie, or song is referenced by each question? They're not all the same movie or TV show this time!

For each one that you correctly guess, you'll get one raffle ticket, and, just like normal, I'll put all the raffle tickets into one virtual hat and draw a name for the winner. The winner to my last contest will be announced next Sunday!

1. Have you ever pretended to be your girlfriend or boyfriend's dad?

2. Would you ever cut one of your friends on purpose?

3. Where's the worst place you've ever gone without a weapon or Backup?

4. Are you afraid of tollbooths?

5. Have you ever worn OR scrubs?

6. What do you do with a smell that won't come out?

7. Don't you hate when nobody will acknowledge you or talk to you?

8. Can you fly a plane? Does anyone know?

9. Do you fight with your wife or husband and in-laws non-stop during Christmas?

10. Have you ever burned something valuable that wasn't yours?

11. Has anybody ever shot you with a BB pistol?

12. Can you go to the bathroom if someone is listening?

13. Have you ever bought the very last hot dog from a hot dog stand?

14. Would you kiss a toaster?

15. Do you like gladiator movies?

Congratulations to the following people who correctly guessed the answer to last week's contest:
(more…)

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Memes and more | 31 Comments »

Lazy Sunday XLIX

Sunday, August 3rd, 2008

Welcome to the penultimate 49th Edition of Lazy Sunday!

I don't know if I'm just making these too hard or if everybody's just really hungover on Sundays recently, but the results were pretty miserable – skip to the end of the post to see the correct answers and last week's winner.

Anyways, this is the second to last Lazy Sunday contest! That's right – after giving away over $1000 in prizes (that I paid for myself – I received no sponsorship or freebies for these contests), I'm going to host two more contests, and that's it!

But these last two are going to be a doozy, and the rules are gonna change.

For this week's contest, all 15 references are for the same television series, musical artist, or movie. That's right – all you have to do is figure out one answer!

Since once someone correctly guesses, everybody would be able to easily figure it out, comments are closed. Instead of commenting with your answer, I want you to email me at my first name at my last name dot com. Put the subject line "Lazy Sunday 49" and write your answer in your email.

Each person who emails me by midnight on Tuesday will get a raffle ticket, and I'll pick one at random to give this week's prize, which is:

An 8GB iPod touch!

So let's see how you do, and tune in next Sunday to find out the winners and see what next week's unbelievable contest will bring!

1. Do you sleep in your bra?
Usually I sleep under my Avitable sheets.

2. Do you enjoy drama?
Only if I can rent it from the vendor between the scanner and the coffee machine.

3. Are you a girly girl?
No, I'm tough, especially if someone shoots me.

4. Do you dress up on Halloween?
I dress up as a woman in a dress, but I keep my cigar and don't shave.

5. What are you doing right now?
Protecting the chastity of a youngish girl.

6. Have you ever been called a bad influence?
Not if they don't want their crotches to hurt like a motherfucker.

7. Are you currently frustrated with a guy?
I keep thinking he's just going to fall asleep on me.

8. Do you have a best friend that's a guy?
Sort of.

9. Have you ever thought of having plastic surgery?
I had my nose done as a teen.

10. Do you like your life?
I did until I had the special.

11. Have you ever had a good feeling about something?
Yes, and apparently my good feelings are more than that.

12. Do you have any plans for tomorrow?
I just want to see if my ass is still as big.

13. Recently done anything you regret?
Does self-consumption count?

14. Whats the closest thing to you that's liquid?
Self-referential yogurt.

15. Are you easily confused?
Yeah. And I take orders from the President way too literally.

And here are the answers and winners from last week's contest :
(more…)

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Memes and more, Serious stuff | No Comments »

Lazy Sunday XXXIX

Sunday, March 2nd, 2008

It's time for another Lazy Sunday and another contest, and once again the prize is an iPod Shuffle!

I'm going to do it a little differently this time, though. I think last week required a bit too much effort for someone to actually feel like they were going to be able to win. Not this time – everyone has a chance at winning.

It's very simple. Rather than try to make you guess which of these are random obscure references, every answer contains a reference to movies, television, or music. Every one.

Just guess as many as you can – some will be laughably easy and some will be very difficult. You have two chances to comment with your answers.

Every correct answer is like a raffle ticket – you get one chance to win per correct answer. If you get 1 right, your name goes in the proverbial hat. If you get 10 right, your name goes in ten times. Et cetera.

After the contest ends Monday at midnight EST, I'll pick a name from the hat and the winner gets the iPod Shuffle!

Should be simple, but if you have any questions, just ask in the comments.

Thanks to Poppy for this one:

1. What curse word do you use the most?
I love to call people "beloved cunt".

2. Do you own an iPod?
Yup. Her name's Rosebud.

3. Who on your MySpace “Top 8” do you talk to the most?
Either Ginger or MaryAnn.

4. What time is your alarm clock set for?
6:00 AM, every single day. And the radio always plays the same damn song, too.

5. What color is your room?
Purple.

6. Flip flops or sneakers?
I only wear Campari.

7. Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture?
I'd rather develop the photos and then get unhealthily obsessed with the people in the photos.

8. Has anyone ever called you lazy?
It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.

9. Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep faster?
I usually drink some drain cleaner, but sometimes I'll try a mixture of OJ and milk.

10. Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk?
I prefer White Russians.

11. Has anyone told you a secret this week?
My friend Malcolm Crowe is dead.

12. Have you ever given someone a hickey?
Yes. Since the invention of the kiss there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate. Mine was one of them.

13. Who was the last person to call you?
This guy who wanted to know if there was a Mr. Freely here. A Mr. I. P. Freely.

14. Do you think people talk about you behind your back?
I know they do. Usually they say that I am the biggest Mexican they've ever seen – big as shit.

15. Did you watch cartoons as a child?
No. We didn't have a TV. I grew up as a poor black child.

Okay, that's it for today. Let's see how you do! Good luck on winning that iPod, and remember – you have until Monday at midnight EST!

Tags: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Memes and more | 89 Comments »

Avikipedia

Tuesday, February 26th, 2008

avitabile_portrait.jpg

I need help from a Wikipedia expert. Does anyone have editing capabilities on Wikipedia? How does it work? I usually stay away from it because I think people rely on it too much, almost as an encyclopedic resource. When it comes to information about entertainment or current events, it can be a good source of information, but I hate when people use it for legal or medical advice or even for historical research purposes.

Unfortunately, though, I now need to learn about Wikipedia. You see, there's an entry about my ancestor, Paolo di Avitabile, who was the actual inspiration for the bogeyman in Pakistan. Even to this day, parents tell their children to behave or "Abu Tabela" will come and get them.

I think it would be awesome if part of the entry for my ancestor discussed current descendants. Would anyone know how to edit it to add something like the following:

"Avitabile's family is spread throughout Naples and the United States, where his name was changed to "Avitable" by lazy registrars at Ellis Island. One well-known descendant is Adam Heath Avitable, who maintains a blog online at http://www.avitable.com."

I'd really like to do this – if someone can help me figure it out, that would help. If they could just do it for me, that would be even better! You'd be my number one bestest friend.

You can email me at my first name at my last name dot com if you have any advice or suggestions or if you want me to verbally masturbate you for helping out.

The rest of today's post discusses the contest and is in an extended entry.

(more…)

Tags: , , , , , , ,
Posted in General | 56 Comments »

Lazy Sunday XXVII

Sunday, February 24th, 2008

Today's Lazy Sunday is going to be a bit different. Typically, I work in a few pop culture references. Some are obscure, some are not. For example, last week, one of my answers was "They've gone plaid", which was clearly a reference to Spaceballs. I think most people miss them and don't appreciate all of the hard work that I've put into trying to come up with these allusions.

Well, I will no longer be underappreciated. My solution is very simple: I shall now bribe all of you to search desperately for my clever references.

From this point forward, every Lazy Sunday will continue to have several movie or television references. They might be a quote, a situational reference, an offhand remark or a subtle allusion, but they will be there. And to the sharp-eyed fucker who can find all of them and gives me the numbers and movie or television show names in the comments, I will reward you with glory and thanks. Oh, and a prize!

What's today's prize, you might ask? How about an iPod Shuffle?

Want to win it? Just find and guess the references, along with the corresponding numbers. If there are multiple people who guess correctly, I will choose one of the names at random and select my winner that way.

Contest ends Monday at midnight EST. Canadians may be required to do a small math problem in order to win.

A few additions (8:57 AM EST, 2/24/08):

1. If I actually name a TV show or movie as an answer, that clearly isn't going to be one of them. That's a bit too obvious, don't you think?
2. If you get rid of Roxanne, Dora, and Oz, there are 7 actual references and allusions that you should be able to pick up.
3. You get two tries. After that, feel free to comment, but if you keep adding ones on, they're not going to count.

Thanks to Kapgar for this one. There are 7 movie or television references to find.

1. Do you like blue cheese?
No, but I have blown cheese.

2. Have you ever smoked heroin?
The only thing I like to do with heroin is put it in little balloons and shove the balloons up my ass.

3. Do you own a gun?
Well, I certainly don't have a license to carry what's in my pants.

4. What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic?
Lime-semen.

5. Do you get nervous before doctor's appointments?
I used to for my prostate exams. But then I found a doctor who started taking me to dinner and a movie first.

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
I think the combination of rat tail, raccoon feet, pigeon head, and boot tongue is lip-smackingly delicious.

7. Favorite Christmas song?
I saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus's Penis.

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
A Weight Gain 4000 shake. I'm trying to bulk up.

9. Can you do push ups?
Yes. I do them at such a high speed that it just seems like I'm laying on the floor, though.

10. What do you order at Starbucks?
Large cheese pizza.

11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry?
My spleen piercing.

12. Favorite hobby?
Skinny prank phone-calling.

13. How do you eat your eggs?
I suck them out of the uterus with a straw.

14. Do you have A.D.D.?
No.

15. What’s one trait you hate about yourself?
My inability to . . . . ooh, shiny!

16. Your eye color?
Stripper pole silver

17. Name three thoughts at this exact moment?
1. I've never actually seen a stripper pole. Are they bronze?
2. Am I strange for having no desire to ever go to a strip club?
3. Ooh, shiny!

18. Name three things you bought yesterday?
Do sex acts from donkeys count as "things"?

19. Three drinks you regularly drink?
Diet Coke
Diet Coke with Lime
Diet Coke with Lemon

20. Current worry right now?
I wonder if this contest is going to be too subtle.

21. Current hate right now?
Edible panties that taste like limburger cheese.

22. Favorite place to be?
Oz. The magical land, not the prison.

23. How did you bring in the New Years?
Ohhhhh. I thought it was the Nude Years! No wonder the host was so horrified.

24. Where would you like to go?
To that place in France where the naked ladies dance.

25. Name three people who will complete this?
Larry, Curly, and Moe.

26. Do you own slippers?
Yes, with pictures of Dora the Explorer on them.

27. What shirt are you wearing?
I'm topless right now. Well, except for the sports bra.

28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
No. Every time I try to jump into bed, I just slide right off the other side.

29. Can you whistle?
Only rectally.

30. Favorite color?
Mauve.

31. Would you be a pirate?
No. I'm not really a booty man.

32. What songs do you sing in the shower?
I only take baths, and I like to make my shampoo and conditioner bottles fight for superiority.

33. Favorite girl’s name?
Anything Irish.

34. Favorite boy’s name?
Adam. Or Thor.

35. What’s in your pocket right now?
A half a pack of cigarette, a tank of gas, and my sunglasses.

36. Last thing that made you laugh?
Steve Martin in Roxanne.

37. Most frequently dialed phone number?
1-800-AVITABLE. And I'll keep dialing it until someone actually answers and says "1-800-Avitable, how can I help you?"

38. Worst injury you’ve ever had?
Caught a bazooka round at Little Big Horn. Or was it Okinawa? The one without the Indians. My eyes are ceramic now.

39. Do you love where you live?
Home is where you bury the hookers.

40. How many TVs do you have?
I refuse to answer this question until my wife lets me get one for the bathroom.

41. Who is your loudest friend?
Oh, you know.

42. How many dogs do you have?
I refuse to answer this question until my wife lets me get one for the bathroom.

43. What are you thrilled about right now?
Toilet dog!

44. Do you have a crush on someone?
Hulk Hogan.

45. What is your favorite book?
Chicken Soup for the Hairy Gorilla Geek Soul

46. What is your favorite candy?
It's NOT Turkish Delight.

47. Favorite Sports Team?
The San Francisco Snowballers.

48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
I want people to sing "I Say a Little Prayer" in unison.

49. What were you doing at 12 AM last night?
Stripping. It's my night job.

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
I hope I didn't eat my underwear again in my sleep. I was dreaming that I was eating pancakes.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Memes and more | 38 Comments »

Lazy Boi

Thursday, December 20th, 2007

My eyes are bothering me, I think I'm getting sick, Amy's in bed coughing up her lungs, so I'm going to be lazy today and just post a quick meme. It's a clever twist on the iTunes/iPod meme that was going around. And it's eerie how many of them can be interpreted to answer the question!

Rules: Put your music player on shuffle, press forward for each question and use the song title as the answer.

What does next year have in store for me?
Low, by Coldplay

What's my love life like?
Youth of America, by The Muffs

What do I say when life gets hard?
Every Breath You Take, by The Police

What do you think of on waking up?
Smiley faces, by Gnarls Barkley

What song will I dance to at my wedding?
Explosivo, by Tenacious D

What do you want as a career?
Cherry Blossom Girl, by Air

Your favorite saying?
Blister in the Sun, by Violent Femmes

Favorite place?
Foreclosure of a Dream, by Megadeth

What do you think of your parents?
Gunshy, by Liz Phair

What's your porn star name?
Doughnut, by Lillix

Where would you go on a first date?
I Looked At You, by The Doors

Drug of choice?
Artificial Sweetener, by No Doubt

Describe yourself.
I Can't, by Radiohead

What is the thing i like doing most?
One of Those Girls, by Avril Lavigne

What is my state of mind like at the moment?
Now, Right Now, by The Reverend Horton Heat

How will I die?
Right Between The Eyes, by Garbage

Tags: , , , , , ,
Posted in Memes and more | 48 Comments »