Tag Archives: jesus

Fuck you and your fucking rapture, fuckers.

Posted on Thursday, May 19, 2011 by Avitable

May 21st. That’s when it all ends.  According to Harold Camping: I’m not going to let a hundred-year old man who looks like a sleazy accountant who rents an office in a strip mall between a Panda Express and a … Continue reading →

Posted in I am evil, Rants | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 26 Comments

What Would Jesus Do?

Posted on Sunday, April 4, 2010 by Avitable

In the spirit of Easter, I thought I’d discuss the top 10 things that Jesus would do if the resurrection happened today: Appear on Oprah and she’d give everyone a free “LOOOOAAAF OF BREEEEAAADDD!” Stare down Fred Phelps on national … Continue reading →

Posted in General | Tagged , , , | 26 Comments

Jesus Fucking Christ

Posted on Monday, August 10, 2009 by Avitable

I was working on an interview with the recently deceased John Hughes, but it’s taking longer than I thought. Instead, I thought I’d just share this little gem with you, sent to me by Nobody. Have a great Monday!

Posted in Dirty talk | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 158 Comments

Some inspirational Bible verses for Easter

Posted on Sunday, April 12, 2009 by Avitable

Since almost all of my readers are deeply religious Christians who attend church weekly and sing the Lord’s praises to the heavens, I thought I’d take the time today to provide you with some thought provoking verses from the Holy … Continue reading →

Posted in I am evil | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 52 Comments

My prayer to Jeebus

Posted on Sunday, December 28, 2008 by Avitable

I’m writing this on Saturday night. Soon I shall be waking up and packing the car for the eight hour drive back home. Before I go to sleep, here is the prayer I will offer up: Dear Jeebus, In the … Continue reading →

Posted in General | Tagged , , , , , , , | 28 Comments

10 Ways that I’m not Jesus

Posted on Friday, July 11, 2008 by Avitable

After working all night and realizing that I can’t hammer a nail in without smacking my knuckles, can’t saw straight even with a straight edge, and can’t build a box that actually has 90 degree angles, I realized that I … Continue reading →

Posted in Dirty talk | Tagged , , , , | 56 Comments

The atheist’s nightmare

Posted on Sunday, July 1, 2007 by Avitable

Before you get to read your regularly scheduled post, here’s the NYCWD update: As of right now, at midnight EST on Saturday, June 30th, we have just raised $3300! I’m really amazed and proud of the support and generosity of … Continue reading →

Posted in Church of Holy Avitableness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 68 Comments