Yesterday was National Delurking Day, according to some random blogger who announced it. It's a genius concept, because anyone who openly admits they're a lurker has to feel some sense of shame and embarrassment about it. The word "lurk" just has such negative connotations associated with it.
Just doing a Google News search for "lurking" brings up these headlines:
"Beware of poisons lurking in your home"
"HEARTSTOPPING: A lurking menace unmasked"
"Possible winter storm lurking for tomorrow"
"Shoplifters Lurking Among Holiday Shoppers"
"Toxic killer lurking in NZ waters"
"Officials fear flu virus lurking around the corner"
"Marketers fear the 'big unknown' lurking in '09"
As defined, "lurking" is a bad thing. It is defined as the action of being sneaky, like you're about to ambush someone. Sure, it also means to exist "unperceived", but everybody knows the negative definition of it.
Nobody says:
"The kids found all of the Easter eggs that were lurking around the house."
"My hand lurked under her shirt and touched her erect nipple."
"Santa lurked around the house putting presents under the tree."
"The cat lurked from one room to the other before curling up on the couch."
Why is someone who reads a blog but doesn't comment a LURKER? They're not doing anything bad or wrong. They're still reading your words but choosing not to comment on it. Let's say, for argument's sake, that I have eleventy billion subscribers to my feed. And then let's say that my average post gets 50 comments. That means that 50 divided by eleventy billion is less than a half percent! So 99.5% of my imaginary readers are assholes and perverts and depraved individuals? Well, yes, they probably are, but not because they don't comment!
There are a lot of blogs that I read where I don't comment frequently. The reasons vary. Sometimes I don't have anything interesting to say. Sometimes the post is boring. Sometimes it's godawful. Sometimes it's really boring. Sometimes I just don't have time to comment. And sometimes it's horribly amazingly stultifyingly boring. But to paint me as a "lurker", hiding here in the shadows while I read your post and stroke my erect cock, cackling evilly, is just wrong. Well, okay, it's right, but that's just me. I do that when I comment, too.
Maybe lurkers are the people with taste. The ones who abstain from commenting with a "Me too!" or a "You're awesome!" or just a smiley because they have taste. Discernible taste that tells them that sometimes it's appropriate to comment and sometimes you're just being a sycophant!
From this point forward, I will no longer refer to people who read but don't comment as lurkers. I will no longer paint them with an evil stroke of my word brush. I will respect their decision to stay silent and give them the benefit of the doubt, until they prove me otherwise.
My new name for lurkers shall be:
Readers who Acknowledge Post Integrity through Silent Taciturnity.
I salute all of you R.A.P.I.S.T.s out there! Bravo!
However, I have declared today National Stop Being a RAPIST Day, so would you fucking comment already?
