For the last ten days, I have been engrossed in the world of Mad Men. Encouraged heavily by two maniacal fans, I have thoroughly enjoyed every episode. As I write this post, I'm about halfway through the third and most recent season, but I feel comfortable enough to discuss the lessons I've learned so far.

Here is what I have learned from Mad Men:

• Hats can be cool.
• Psychology is stupid.
• Whiskey is the nectar of the gods.
• Cigarettes help you think and work better.
• It's okay to drink and smoke when you're pregnant.
• Black people either provide a helpful service or have sage insight.
• Men are sluts.
• It's only okay to be gay if you're from Europe.
• Adopting a baby is a sign of weakness.
• Everything needs salt.
• To be mysterious and appealing, just don't say anything and arch your eyebrow.
• When you need time, just disappear and show back up a week or so later and nobody will even care.