I've done this before, but it's always fun.
1. Go to the "Random Article" link on Wikipedia. Write down the title of the article. This is the name of your band.
2. Go to “Random Quotations” and the last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.
3. Go to Flickr and click on “Explore the Last Seven Days”. The third picture will be your album cover.
Put them all together and you get:
Try it!
Three years ago, I did this little music meme, and I thought it would be interesting to see what's changed with my music tastes since then. Here are the rules:
1. Open your music library (iPod, iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every stage of life, type the song that’s playing
5. When you go to a new stage, press the next button
6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool…
The stage of life is in bold, followed by my 2006 answer in italics and my 2009 response in bold:
Waking Up: Instigator by Kaci Brown (Instigator): Bohemian Rhapsody, by Queen (Wayne's World OST)
First Day at School: Dance of the Seven Veils, by Liz Phair (Exile in Guyville): The Letter, by Natalie Merchant (Tigerlily)
Falling In Love: Jumpers, by Sleater-Kinney (The Woods): This Modern Love, by Bloc Party (Silent Alarm)
Fight Song: DQ Blizzard, by MC Chris (Life's a Bitch and I'm her Pimp): Talisman, by Air (Moon Safari)
Breaking Up: When I See You Smile, by Bad English: Comfortably Numb, by Scissor Sisters (Scissor Sisters)
Prom: Naked in the Rain, by Red Hot Chili Peppers (Blood Sugar Sex Magik): For Whom The Bell Tolls, by Metallica
Life: Fire, by Ladytron (Light & Magic): Runs in the Family, by Amanda Palmer (Who Killed Amanda Palmer)
Mental Breakdown: Saving Grace, by Tom Petty (Highway Companion): Teenagers, by Hayley Williams (Jennifer's Body OST)
Driving: The Sweet Escape, by Gwen Stefani (The Sweet Escape): I've Had the Time of my Life, by Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes
Flashback: NYC, by Interpol (Turn on the Bright Lights): Addicted to Love, by Robert Palmer
Wedding: Shake a Leg, AC/DC (Back in Black): Beds are Burning, by Midnight Oil (Diesel and Dust)
Birth of Child: Feathers, by Kidneythieves (Trickstereprocess): Wild Thing, by The Muppets (Kermit Unpigged)
Final Battle: Hold on to the Night, by Richard Marx: Smile Like You Mean It, by The Killers (Hot Fuss)
Death Scene: Too Much to Ask, by Avril Lavigne (Let Go): Torn, by Natalie Imbruglia
Funeral Song: Wind It Up, by Gwen Stefani (The Sweet Escape): When You're Gone, by The Cranberries (To The Faithful Departed)
End Credit: Red Hooded Sweatshirt, by Adam Sandler (What's Your Name): You Belong With Me, by Taylor Swift
What better way to waste a Saturday after a holiday than to create my own survey, then fill out said survey, then encourage all of you to steal said survey and fill it out yourselves?
Just pick the first word that you think of when you associate yourself with that category. Don't overthink it.
If I was a/an _____, I'd be ______
TV show: Scrubs
Song: True Colors, by Cyndi Lauper
Movie: Grosse Pointe Blank
Book: any Sherlock Holmes book
Fictional character: Ferris Bueller
City: Los Angeles
Verb: multitask
Color: red
Animal: monkey
Emotion: detachment
Article of clothing: belt
Flavor: sweet
Food: cheeseburger
Vice: gluttony
Plant: apple tree
Mythological animal: dragon
Letter: Z
Inanimate object: security camera
School Activity: yearbook
Positive attribute: strength
Negative attribute: needy
Now you go.
I've seen this many places, but I copied it from Faiqa. Time was, I'd fill these out with funny answers that were in no way real. However, I've decided it might be more interesting to be brutally honest. Or more boring. Whatever.
1. Did you date someone from your school senior year? Yes. I dated Katey Sellers.
2. Did you marry someone from your high school? No.
3. Did you carpool to school? I took the bus until my friends were old enough to drive, then I got rides until I was old enough to drive, a year later, and then I drove my own car.
4. What kind of car did you drive? 1984 Chrysler Fifth Avenue. It had a pink flamingo on the hood ornament.
5. What kind of car do you have now? 2004 Toyota Camry. Since I work at home, we only have one car. I plan on getting something new, though. I want either an Escalade or a Mercedes.
6. It's Friday night – where were you (in high school)? Usually at a movie with my girlfriend and then in the woods making out with her.
7. It is Friday night – where are you (now)? Watching the Thursday night TV that we recorded with Amy.
8. What kind of job did you have in high school? I worked as a telemarketer, as a bag boy, for a video store, tinted windows, babysat, mowed lawns, and did more telemarketing.
9. What kind of job do you do now? I am the CEO of a small company.
10. Were you a party animal? No. I didn't have touch alcohol stronger than a wine cooler until I started college.
11. Were you considered a flirt? Yes. And a pervert. And an attention whore.
12. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir? No. I'm completely tone deaf.
13. Were you a nerd? I prefer "geek." Yes, I was a geek in high school, but I was also a varsity athlete.
14. Did you get suspended or expelled? Only when I told teachers to go fuck themselves, which happened on two separate occasions.
15. Can you sing the fight song? I don't believe in school spirit. It's infantile and ridiculous.
16. Who was/were your favorite teacher(s)? Mrs. Graham, our senior English teacher. And Mr. Crile, our junior and senior History teacher. And Mrs. Swanson our smoking hot junior chemistry teacher.
17. Where did you sit during lunch? The first two years, I usually ate lunch in front of a computer, where we were playing Leisure Suit Larry. The latter two years, we would go out for lunch almost every day to one of the dozen or so restaurants around the school.
18. What was your school's full name? Spruce Creek High School
19. When did you graduate? 1994
20. What was your school mascot? The Hawk
21. If you could go back and do it again, would you? Sure. I had a blast in high school. It was a piece of cake, I made some friends that I'll have forever, and I knew that school like the back of my hand.
22. Did you have fun at Prom? I went to several of them, but yeah. The prom itself sucked, but the parties afterward were fun.
23. Do you still talk to your prom date? I talk to one of them. She's one of my best friends.
24. Who was your best friend? Sabrina.
25. What did you want to be when you grew up? An attorney.
26. Any regrets? I should have talked to Faiqa more.
27. Biggest fashion mistake? I rolled my sleeves up and literally stapled them to my arms. I was a walking fashion mistake.
28. Favorite fashion trend? See above.
29. Are you going to your next reunion? No. Since I was in International Baccalaureate, I had all of my classes with a select group of people, and those people I've seen recently. The rest of my class is comprised of people that I don't know and have no interest in seeing.
30. Who did you have a secret crush on? I crushed on several people. One of them is Faiqa's best friend, Lisa.
31. Did you go on spring break? I lived in the spring break capital of the world at the time. So yes.
Since I'm writing this as I'm besieged on all sides by two children who have decided that we're playing good vs. evil and they're evil, I just thought I'd throw up a quick little survey that I stole from here. Oh, and don't forget to set your clocks ahead if you haven't already!
1. What is your occupation right now?
CEO
2. What color are your socks right now?
White. Well, the bottoms are probably black because I wear them outside.
3. What are you listening to right now?
The beautiful music of little children stabbing me in the face.
4. Last person you spoke to on the phone.
Britt. She pretended not to recognize my name.
5. How old are you today?
32. I feel 65.
6. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV?
I'm not one of those morons who lives vicariously through the actions of idiot athletes.
7. What is your favorite drink?
Diet Coke.
8. Have you ever dyed your hair?
Yes. Red. I looked like a large tampon.
9. Favorite food?
Filet Mignon.
10. What is the last movie you watched?
Watchmen
11. Favorite day of the year?
I don't have one.
12. How do you vent anger?
I listen to techno.
13. What was your favorite toy as a child?
My Optimus Prime Transformer.
14. Living arrangements?
We own our house.
15. What was the last thing that you cried about?
The devastating nut punch I just received from Devin.
16. Who is the friend you have had the longest?
I have a few friends that I've known since I was 4 or 5.
17. What did you do last night?
Wrote my will before coming here to babysit.
18. What are you most afraid of?
Right now? Evil children.
19. In how many areas of your country have you lived?
Five.
20. What is your favorite flower?
The kind that you use to make cookies.
I've seen this all over the interweb. It's sexist because it's written for all the women bloggers to write about their male significant others, but I've adjusted it where necessary.
1. She’s sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?
History Channel, Animal Planet, Discovery, or reruns of Star Trek, Law & Order, or Angel.
2. You’re out to eat; what kind of dressing does she get on her salad?
Italian or a Balsamic Vinaigrette
3. What’s one food she doesn’t like?
Steak. Anymore.
4. You go out to eat and have a drink. What does she order?
The drink will be wine, beer (if it's not domestic) or maybe a margarita or martini. The meal depends.
5. Where did she go to high school?
Idaho Springs, Colorado
6. What size shoe does she wear?
9? 9 1/2?
7. If she was to collect anything, what would it be?
Recycled art
8. What is her favorite type of sandwich?!
Grilled Cheese. Or maybe a veggie sub. Or peanut butter.
9. What would this person eat every day if she could?
Brie or goat cheese and crackers.
10. What is her favorite cereal?
She eats that horrible crap like Fiber One and Grape Nuts and Kashi. Ugh.
11. What would she never wear?
Something out of style.
12. What is her favorite sports team?
She and I share the same opinion on sports.
13. Who did she vote for?
Obama
14. Who is her best friend?
Me. And Catherine.
15. What is something you do that she wishes you wouldn’t do?
Drive so aggressively and teach other drivers "lessons".
16. What is her heritage?
Native American, Jewish, and English/Dutch/German
17. You bake her a cake for her birthday; what kind of cake?
Ice cream cake.
18. Did she play sports in high school?
Basketball. And she got in fights.
19. What could she spend hours doing?
Laying with the dog relaxing.
20. What is one unique talent she has?
She can remember every small detail that happened to her during a day and can tell it to me at the end of said day.
As part of that whole interview meme, I was asked 5 questions by Hilly. I still have another 20 or so people to whom I need to send interview questions, so be patient. I'm working on it, fuckers.
As a result, I'm not going to invite commenters to request an interview. Instead, use the comments to answer the five questions that I'm answering. I'm interested in what you have to say. No, really. I am!
Hilly asks:
1.) What is the one thing that a blogger can do to really annoy you?
One thing? There are so many things that bloggers do that annoy me to no end. Let's see. I get annoyed if a blogger's name is "KIDNAME'S Mom", because it really says to me that you don't have your own identity or personality. Not that I have a lot of "Tyler's Mom" and "Shithead's Mom" bloggers who read me, but it frustrates me even when I see it on other blogs.
I get annoyed by passive aggressive bloggers who whine and lie and just use their blog as a way to get people to tell them nice things. Those types of people annoy me in real life, too.
I hate when bloggers have so many nicknames for all of their family members and kids and husband/wife and then they use the initials for them. You know what? I don't give a fuck if JT and QU were fighting and then DH farted and you just had to call PSFK to tell her, but she was already talking to CKSKR! That means absolutely nothing to me, and I might stop reading your blog now.
I am annoyed by bloggers who have a sponsored post as every other post, or who have ads in the feedreader, or who have an abbreviated feed or post a ton of pictures but have this need to hide their face or post something goofy in its place or do weekly things like haiku or HNT or lists or memes . . ..
Hoo boy. This is a post all on its own!
2.) Even though I HATE this phrase, do you consider yourself an "A List Blogger" or do you see it a different way?
I see blogging in tiers, but not like "A-List" or anything like that. There are Big Bloggers, Medium Bloggers, Small Bloggers, and Tiny Bloggers. Obviously, the Big Bloggers are people like Heather Armstrong (who I heard from a friend of a friend likes to have sex with a horse and then saves the horse jizz to put in things she bakes for her family), but she's the biggest of the big. There are plenty of big bloggers who get a ton of traffic, a lot of readers and commenters, and never seem to have time to actually ever show up and comment on anyone else's blog. That just seems to defeat the purpose of blogging being fun because you're part of a big community. If I ever reach that level, I hope I'm able to still read the blogs that I like.
I'd consider myself a Medium Blogger. Large enough to have an audience of some size but small enough to still be a drop in the bucket of the Internet.
3.) If you did not work for yourself, what kind of job would you like to have?
I cannot imagine ever working for anyone else, so any job that I would like to have would have to be working for myself. However, rather than the business that I'm in (selling razor-sharp glass dildos to masochistic fetishists), I would love to own a small independent movie theater/comic book store/cafe combo. That would be heaven.
4.) If I dared you to talk dirty to me, could you do it? Why or why not?
Ooh, baby, I want to insert my penis gently into your vagina and then retract it and insert it again and repeat that for several times until I ejaculate.
How's that for dirty talk? I just find the whole concept demeaning and have no interest in it. I put women on pedestals and the concept of dirty talk just seems to chip away at that pedestal, even if it's something that the woman likes or wants. I can't help it.
5.) How many folders do you have in Google Reader and what are their labels?
I have a ton of folders. Here's what I have now:
1. Must reads
2. 2nd Tier
3. Read if Time Available
4. Nice people with sucky blogs
5. New commenters to check out
6. People I Hate
7. Celebrity Blogs
8. Photo Blogs
I read the Must Reads almost every single day. I almost always manage to read the 2nd Tier blogs, and on days when I have time, I read the "RITA" blogs. The nice people with sucky blogs are people that I like personally but don't really find their blogs interesting, so I try to read them to see how their life is going, but I don't always have time for them. I add all commenters to my feedreader to the New Commenters folder and as I read them, I decide where to stick them. Finally, the People I Hate folder is for the people I hate but still want to see what stupid shit they're spewing. I have about 12 blogs in there.
What are your answers to these questions?
I got tagged by Bridget over at Yellaphant to do one of those lists of seven things that you might not know about me.
This is more difficult than you'd think. I mean, I've already made a list of 100 things about me. And my Avitable purity test told you another 60 things that I've done that nobody wanted to know.
But I might as well give it a try! Without further ado:
1. I don't like roller coasters. I just think about all of the little pieces that could be improperly maintained and then realize that most of them are maintained by sub-IQ retards making minimum wage and will not put my life into their hands.
2. When I was in law school, I was sleeping so soundly and dreaming about peeing so repeatedly, that I actually peed a little. Now even if my dream is barely about having to pee at all, I'll still wake up and go.
3. My mother hates my Christmas cards. The very first one I ever sent out was relatively innocuous but she was still horrified. Each year I try to see what else I can do to horrify her. Since her friends are on my card list as well, many of them get the card and then say to each other, "Oh, Robyn's going to kill that boy!" My mom actually pleads with me not to send them out to anyone she knows every year. Heh.
4. I don't have any role models or mentors. This doesn't mean that I don't think I have anything to learn. On the contrary, I just realize that I can take the elements that I might admire in someone and just apply them to myself and at that point there is no reason for that person to be there anymore.
5. I do actually work in my underwear. Since I work from home, I see no point in wearing constricting clothing while working. A white t-shirt as an undershirt and a pair of boxer briefs seem to do the job perfectly well. I encourage my employees who work out of my house to wear whatever they want, too, but so far nobody's taken advantage of Lingerie Monday.
6. I've never been to a funeral and I do not plan on going to one. The only funerals where I'd feel any compulsion to attend would be for those people to whom I'm very close, and for those people, I'd rather pay my respects privately than attend a funeral.
7. I've seen the Spice Girls' Movie over 10 times. What can I say? With a great supporting cast, the film is actually pretty funny, and of course, I love the music. Zig-a zig-a Ah!
So there you go – 7 things that you likely did not know about yours truly. I'm not going to tag anyone else to do this one, because I don't play like that!
Have a great weekend!
There's a whole website dedicated to stealing memes from other people's sites and posting them. This one is apparently called The Woman's Work 45 Meme, and I thought it might be fun to do, since I'm not a working woman and all:
1. Do you like blue cheese salad dressing?
As long as I don't think about it too long. It's a pretty disgusting concept.
2. Favorite late night snack?
I don't snack.
3. Do you own a gun?
No, I'm anti-gun.
4. What’s your favorite drink at Starbucks or other specialty coffee shop?
I don't drink coffee, but sometimes I'll see if they'll steam me some eggnog.
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
No, but I haven't had my first prostate exam yet.
6. What do you think of hot dogs?
They're delicious with ketchup and mayonnaise.
7. Favorite Christmas song?
Christmas at Ground Zero, by Weird Al
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Diet Coke.
9. Can you do push-ups?
I can do push-up.
10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry?
My college ring.
11. Favorite hobby?
Comic books.
12. Do you have A.D.D.?
No, I have whatever the horribly anal retentive opposite of that is.
13. What’s one trait that you hate about yourself?
I'm just a little too sexy.
14. The last disease you contracted?
I haven't really been sick in years, but it was some type of basic cold.
15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment.
A. What does this have to do with working women? B. How can I simultaneously think of three different things? C. I have to pee.
16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink?
Diet Coke, Diet Coke, and Diet Coke
17. Current worry right now?
I'm really hating the idea of leaving town for Christmas. At least I'll have internet.
18. Current hate right now?
Oh, I hate lots of things.
19. Favorite place to be?
In my office.
20. How did you ring in the New Year?
I think I might have been asleep.
21. Like to travel?
Only under exactingly specific circumstances over which I have complete control.
23. Do you own slippers?
No. I only own one pair of shoes.
24. What color shirt are you wearing?
It's kind of a pasty white with lots of hair and two nipples.
25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
Not really – too slippery.
26. Can you whistle?
Like a retarded child.
27. Favorite singer/band?
Avril Lavigne
28. Could you ever make it 39 days on the show Survivor?
Only if I took it literally and killed everyone else.
29. What songs do you sing in the shower?
The Divinyl's.
30. Favorite girl’s names?
Summer, Kaylee, Willow, and Pussy Galore
31. Favorite boy’s name?
Adam. Or Thor.
32. What’s in your pocket right now?
Unless I'm hiding something in an orifice, there's no definition of pockets that can apply to my current outfit.
33. Last thing that made you laugh?
The new NBC show Kath and Kim.
34. Like your job?
It's fun, even with the crazy bitchy employees.
36. Do you love where you live?
Yes, although I look forward to making more changes in the future.
37. How many TVs do you have in your house?
Three.
38. Who is your loudest friend?
That's no contest.
39. Do you drive the speed limit or speed?
I see the speed limit as a minimum.
40. Does someone have a crush on you?
Lots of people do. I'm pretty fucking awesome.
41. What is your favorite book?
Stephen King's Dark Tower series.
42. What is your favorite candy?
Chic-o-stick.
43. Favorite Sports Team?
I think following sports is a waste of time and everyone is stupider having done it.
44. What were you doing 12 AM last night?
Posting a picture of my ass on the internet.
45. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up today?
How did I give myself a wedgie in the middle of the night?
I'm creating my own meme. Link back here if you decide to do it yourself:
My favorite age: 26
My best friend: Britt
My celebrity crush: Sarah Silverman. Or Avril Lavigne. Kristen Bell. Emma Watson. Natalie Portman.
My defining characteristic: Physically? My smile. Emotionally? My sense of humor.
My most evil moment: Dumping a girl in high school when she wouldn't give me a blowjob.
My favorite food: Birthday cake.
My grossest injury: Once I scraped the head of my penis.
My biggest hatred: Stupid people
My most illegal activity: When I was in high school and college, I stole quite a bit.
My need for justice: When I see idiot drivers who are making the road a danger, I have to teach them a lesson!
My most knowledgeable field: I tend to know a little about a lot, rather than focus in one specific field. Although I do study comedy and humor extensively.
My life's goal: Retire young and travel the world.
My mother's influence: She taught me dark humor, how to laugh at anything, and how to manipulate damn near anyone.
My nerdiest point: That was probably role-playing "Vampire: The Masquerade" in the Commerce School classrooms in college.
My oldest memory: I remember climbing out of my crib and figuring out how to put on the TV to watch Sesame Street. My mother says I was 2.
My perfect date: I'm a simple guy. My perfect date would be going to see a good movie, then going out for burgers and ice cream.
My unanswered question: If there is eternity, wouldn't it be horrible?
My random fact: I've never eaten a chicken wing.
My stupidest decision: I should have gone to Japan for a semester in college.
My favorite television show: Currently on air? 30 Rock. Of all time? Buffy the Vampire Slayer
My style of underwear: Boxer briefs. I wear them around like shorts.
My favorite vegetable: None. I guess I can handle iceberg lettuce if there is lots of dressing.
My weakest trait: I have very little restraint.
My X-men power: Healing ability. And adamantium claws.
My strongest yearning: To be loved by millions.
My moment of Zen: Driving fast at night with the windows down and music blasting.
