Posts Tagged ‘movie critic’

My review of Edge of Darkness (Spoiler Free)

Friday, February 19th, 2010

Last night, I went to see "Edge of Darkness", Mel Gibson's first movie in eight years. I know many people who won't go watch him because of his drunken anti-Semitic tirade a few years ago, but I watch movies to see actors act. I don't have to like their personal views.

Edge of Darkness is a dark look at a cop who loses his only daughter. He is widowed, we presume, because there's no mention of his wife and her mother in the entire film. In the end, he has nothing left to live for, and he's determined that those responsible will pay. It's not as gritty as "Man on Fire" or "Payback", but it's not as slick as "Ransom", either. The tone is bleak but sometimes resorts to just enough bloody splashes of violence to change it up. Martin Campbell, who also directed "Casino Royale", which is one of the best Bond films to date, kept the story tight. With the exception of a few unnecessary moments of exposition that I can only imagine are put in there for audiences who can't understand the Boston accents being thrown around (It gets a bit thick sometimes!), it's a good movie. A little predictable and a little derivative, but I enjoyed seeing Mel Gibson in a role that he fits into like a glove.

I give it three out of five Sugartits.

My review of Sherlock Holmes

Saturday, December 26th, 2009

I'm a fan of Sherlock Holmes. I've read every story written by A. Conan Doyle, and as a kid, would look up each word I didn't understand in the dictionary until I had reread the stories over and over again. I bought the .99 Kindle collection that has all of them so I can read them again. I've watched movies like The Zero Effect, which place someone with Sherlock Holmes's sensibilities and abilities in modern society. As someone who is relatively intuitive and deductive, I see Sherlock Holmes as one of my heroes. So it was with some trepidation that I sat down in a crowded theater at 7 PM on Christmas to watch the latest film incarnation of Baker Street's finest.

And I thoroughly enjoyed it. Robert Downey Jr.'s Holmes feels right. Jude Law's Watson may be a bit burlier and more assertive than the stories led on, but they were written by Watson himself, so you can surmise that maybe he practiced some humility and self-editing. The mystery was a good one, the action was excellent yet believable (I'm not an expert on the details of the era, so I can't argue whether or not there were anachronisms. I don't care.), and when they showed Holmes's deductive skills at work, I found myself laughing giddily.

It's smart, but it's broad enough for the general audience. It's funny, and I can forgive the few base jokes that do jar you out of the movie. It's exciting, and I never felt bored for a second. This movie is definitely one of my favorites for the year – how wonderful, between Sherlock Holmes and Avatar, to have two such amazing films to finish off the last decade!

I give it 4 and a half out of five pinches of snuff.

My review of Avatar (Spoiler Free)

Sunday, December 20th, 2009

avatar-movie-poster

Avatar is James Cameron's opus. He's been working on it for the last fifteen years, a fact that is certain to raise most people's expectations to impossible-to-meet standards. Without going into details, the film focuses on a future where the human race is attempting to mine an inhabited planet for a valuable resource. The inhabitants, a tall, strong, blue-skinned humanoid people called the Na'vi, are resisting, and so Na'vi bodies are grown that can be controlled remotely by humans so that they can walk among this alien race.

The story is predictable and simple. It's Dancing With Wolves meets Alien meets The Abyss. The original script treatment by Cameron had many more elements that created ambiguity and complexities that were noticeably absent in this version. I have no doubt that the director's cut will likely contain some of these aspects and will probably be six hours long, too.

Even with the basic plot and one-dimensional characters, the movie is phenomenal. I saw it in 3D, and the world was so engrossing that you begin to get lost in it. At one point, characters in the movie raised their arms, and I almost yelled at the people sitting in front of me because I thought it was them. You forget that most of the movie is not real. Each Na'vi is so realistic, with subtle facial expressions and a tangible feeling of having a soul, that you are fully invested in each of them as characters.

This movie earns its PG-13 rating. It's dark and violent and will frighten small children. The two five year old children seated behind me were perfect examples of kids who should not have been at this movie, especially since their mother had to leave with them about half way through. This is a movie for kids 10 and older, at the very minimum, and only those who have the attention span to sit still for almost three hours.

I thoroughly enjoyed the film and can't wait to go back and watch it again, this time in IMAX 3D. It's one of my favorite movies of the year. I give it four and a half out of five stars.

My review of Fantastic Mr. Fox (spoiler free)

Sunday, December 6th, 2009

fantastic-mr-fox

Who knew that two of my favorite movies from 2009 would be purportedly created for children by auteur directors? Spike Jonze's "Where The Wild Things Are" and Wes Anderson's "Fantastic Mr. Fox" are based on children's books but have appeal to all audiences and maybe are even better suited for older children and adults than the youngest set.

A quirky, funny, bittersweet look at the lives of a fox family, replete with father/son issues, husband/wife issues, and quasi-sibling rivalry, this film will make you laugh, gasp, and feel sad. The animation is beautiful and painstakingly created, and it's directed wonderfully with all of the feel of a comic heist movie, yet in a heartfelt way.

It might be a little too dark for kids under 6 or so, but anyone else with a soul should appreciate this touching adaptation of a classic book. It expands on the story and even departs considerably from the Roald Dahl feel and rhythm, but that wasn't a distraction or a negative feeling. It just felt like its own story, or maybe the real story upon which Dahl's short tale was based.

I give it five out of five cussin' stars.

My review of Bruno (spoiler-free)

Tuesday, July 14th, 2009

bruno-movie-poster

Do you think people suck? Do you already have a pessimistic outlook on how low humanity has sunk? Do you know that there are people in the world who have no morals and should probably just be buried in a ditch?

If your answer is yes to any or all of these questions, Bruno is the movie for you. It puts multiple faces on the ugliness of humanity, exposed by Sacha Baron Cohen's flamboyantly stereotyped Bruno, and it's hilarious.

If, however, you still have hope in your heart that people are inherently good, this movie may make you question your outlook on life. It may make you sad and cry. It will also make you laugh, but there will be moments where you will literally recoil in horror at the things that real people do and say.

Bruno was hysterically funny for me and improved upon the concept of the quite-funny Borat. It's irreverent, it's shocking, it's gross, and it's very very real. With no filter on what humanity can be like when exposed to the light of day, Bruno moves from uncomfortable laughter at prejudice, child endangerment, and hate to side-splitting laughter at pushing the envelope, shock humor, and penises. I will definitely be buying it on Blu Ray to see what bits, interviews, and horrors were left on the cutting room floor.

My review of Drag Me To Hell (Spoiler Free)

Sunday, May 31st, 2009

Justin Long or a chameleon?

Justin Long or a chameleon?

A long time ago in a B-movie world far, far away, a man named Sam Raimi made a trilogy of movies: Evil Dead, Evil Dead 2, and Army of Darkness. They got increasingly funnier and they were cheesy, cornball horror fun. Some cheap scares, poor effects, and a sense of fun made this a great series of movies that have infinite rewatchability.

His latest foray into the cornball horror genre hit theaters Friday with "Drag Me To Hell", starring Alison Lohman and Justin Long (or a chameleon. I really can't tell the difference. He is an ugly, ugly man with eyeballs that are way too far apart.). In a tale reminiscent of Stephen King's "Thinner", a gypsy curse results in dire consequences for Alison Lohman's loan officer. The few twists are predictable, but it's not the destination that matters with this movie. It's how you get there.

With a penchant for gross-out scenes that alternate between cheesy and hilarious, this film is light summer fare and fun for the whole cornball horror genre lovin' family. There are a few surprising scares and some great atmosphere. And if you walk in expecting a scare-your-pants-off horror movie like The Ring or Exorcist or torture-porn like Hostel, you'll be sorely disappointed. It's like when you think you're eating mayo and it turns out to be bleu cheese dressing. If you expect cheese, it's okay, but if you're thinking delicious mayo, you'll be fucking pissed.

I give it a B.

The stupidity of random anger

Friday, January 2nd, 2009

Does anyone else go to a movie, enjoy said movie, and then subsequently read movie reviews for that movie and get angry at the critics who give bad movie reviews of the movie that you just enjoyed?

What kind of fucking job is being a critic anyway? It's not like the person is an "objective reviewer". The job title is "critic"! So right there you're starting off on a bad foot. The job is to be negative. It's to judge. To find fault with.

A normal person reads a good book and gets involved in it, imagining the words come to life, mentally realizing the characters and the story, and when finished, cannot wait to share that book with the next person.

A critic reads a book and complains about exclamation marks and characterizations without ever letting oneself get swept away by the story and evocative imagery.

What a shitty life it must be to be a movie or food or music or book critic. Doesn't stop me from wanting to punch them in their stupid faces when I read a stupid negative review, though!

In other news, "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" was excellent.