Posts Tagged ‘movies’

My review of Edge of Darkness (Spoiler Free)

Friday, February 19th, 2010

Last night, I went to see "Edge of Darkness", Mel Gibson's first movie in eight years. I know many people who won't go watch him because of his drunken anti-Semitic tirade a few years ago, but I watch movies to see actors act. I don't have to like their personal views.

Edge of Darkness is a dark look at a cop who loses his only daughter. He is widowed, we presume, because there's no mention of his wife and her mother in the entire film. In the end, he has nothing left to live for, and he's determined that those responsible will pay. It's not as gritty as "Man on Fire" or "Payback", but it's not as slick as "Ransom", either. The tone is bleak but sometimes resorts to just enough bloody splashes of violence to change it up. Martin Campbell, who also directed "Casino Royale", which is one of the best Bond films to date, kept the story tight. With the exception of a few unnecessary moments of exposition that I can only imagine are put in there for audiences who can't understand the Boston accents being thrown around (It gets a bit thick sometimes!), it's a good movie. A little predictable and a little derivative, but I enjoyed seeing Mel Gibson in a role that he fits into like a glove.

I give it three out of five Sugartits.

The Oscar categories you don't know about

Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010

As you probably know, the Oscar nominations were announced yesterday, and there were a few pleasant additions, like Inglourious Basterds and District 9. With the Academy changing the rules and having 10 nominees for Best Picture, it seems like the Oscars have had a bit of an upheaval. But did you know that there are secret categories that they don't announce or televise? Here are just a few, along with the current frontrunner for each category:

Best Toy Line Turned Into a Movie: GI Joe
Worst Toy Line Turned Into a Movie: The Bratz Movie

Best Naked Blue Man: Dr. Manhattan, Watchmen
(Honorable Mention: Jakesully, Avatar)

Best Mall Cop Movie: Observe and Report

Coolest Nazi Ever: Hans Landa, Inglourious Basterds

Douchiest Movie Scene: "Robot Heaven", Transformers 2

Best Ryan Reynolds Role: The Proposal
Worst Ryan Reynolds Role: Wolverine

Best Title That Should be a Porn: The Lovely Bones

Best Use of Ryan from The Office: Inglourious Basterds

Worst Movie of the Year: Post Grad (oh, Rory)

My Top Ten Movies of 2009

Monday, December 28th, 2009

If all goes according to plan, the last four posts of the decade (I'm one of those contrary folk who start my decades with the ought year) will be top ten lists. Because there's nothing more interesting than some random person's idea of what constitutes the best, right?

My inaugural post will focus on movies. I can only choose from the movies that I've seen, obviously, so here is the list of the 52 theatrical releases from 2009 that I saw, in the theaters, with On Demand, or on Blu Ray (in alphabetical order):

  1. 2012
  2. (500) Days of Summer
  3. Adventureland
  4. Avatar
  5. The Blind Side
  6. Bruno
  7. District 9
  8. Drag Me To Hell
  9. Duplicity
  10. Extract
  11. Fame
  12. Fanboys
  13. Fantastic Mr. Fox
  14. Fast and Furious
  15. The Final Destination: 3D
  16. Funny People
  17. GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra
  18. The Hangover
  19. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
  20. He's Just Not That Into You
  21. I Love You, Man
  22. Inglourious Basterds
  23. Jennifer's Body
  24. Julie & Julia
  25. The Last House on the Left
  26. My Bloody Valentine 3D
  27. Observe and Report
  28. Orphan
  29. Pandorum
  30. Paranormal Activity
  31. Post Grad
  32. The Proposal
  33. Public Enemies
  34. Push
  35. Sherlock Holmes
  36. Star Trek
  37. State of Play
  38. Surrogates
  39. The Taking of Pelham 123
  40. Taken
  41. Terminator Salvation
  42. The Time Traveler's Wife
  43. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
  44. The Twilight Saga: New Moon
  45. The Ugly Truth
  46. Up
  47. Watchmen
  48. Where the Wild Things Are
  49. Whip It
  50. X-Men Origins: Wolverine
  51. Year One
  52. Zombieland

And here are the 16 movies that I haven't seen yet but plan to in the next year:

  1. 9
  2. Antichrist
  3. Away We Go
  4. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call new Orleans
  5. The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day
  6. The Brothers Bloom
  7. Everybody's Fine
  8. The Hurt Locker
  9. The International
  10. Invictus
  11. It's Complicated
  12. Me and Orson Welles
  13. Moon
  14. Nine
  15. Precious
  16. Up in the Air

So, without further ado, gauging primarily by rewatachability and sheer entertainment value, here are the movies that I've seen that I consider to be the best theatrical releases of 2009:

10. Observe and Report: This darkly humorous look at the pathetic life of a security guard with an inferiority complex is equal parts disturbing to watch and completely compelling. Anyone who went into the theater expecting a riff on "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" was in for a rude surprise, as Seth Rogen manages to transform himself from a lovable comic foil into a sad, angry, pathetic man. If the humor in this movie was only about schadenfreude, it wouldn't be nearly as good – instead, the writer/director managed to make us root for this despicable character at the same time that we despise him.

9. Funny People: Another Seth Rogen movie that wasn't quite a comedy makes my top ten list. This bittersweet take on the dark and sad life of a stand up comedian cum movie star, played by Adam Sandler in his best role since Punch Drunk Love, was a movie that I wish was even better. It was a bit uneven and needed some editing – I could see a director's cut or, alternatively an unedited longer version being one of my favorite movies of all time.

8. Zombieland: It's funny, gory, fast-paced, and has the best unbilled cameo of the last few years. Every actor, from Woody Harrelson to Jesse Eisenberg (playing the Michael Cera role better than Cera could have) to Emma Stone to Abigail Breslin, seemed perfect for their roles, and given the zombie nature of the film, the fact that none of the characters seemed safe made it a more enjoyable ride. I'm looking forward to watching this one again once it comes out on DVD/Blu Ray in February.

7. Inglourious Basterds: This movie might be Quentin Tarantino's best to date. It would be higher on my list if it weren't for a few elements that jarred me so badly – the Samuel L. Jackson's fourth-wall breaking narratives, which were completely unnecessary, and the introductions of a few of the Basterds in a completely anachronistic and stupid way. Other than these few occurrences, Tarantino's maturation as a creative force is highly evident, and I can't wait to see what he could do if he stopped with some of the amateurish flourishes that he is prone to use. Even if you're not a Tarantino fan, you should watch this movie. The opening scene will take your breath away.

6. Sherlock Holmes: I'm conflicted about how low this movie is on my list, but the fact is that it didn't make my jaw drop like the top 5 did. I still want to go see it again in the next week or so to give myself a chance to take it all in, because there were times when Robert Downey, Jr.'s Holmes spoke so quickly that I know I missed some of the excellent dialogue. Since I just reviewed it on Saturday, there's not much else I can say.

5. Avatar: Yet another movie that I've reviewed in the last week, so there's not much more to add. With fifteen years of planning, this movie could have not only blown me away with the immersive 3D graphics, but also wowed me with a complex, fascinating plot that avoided cliches and standard movie conventions. And while I'm willing to enjoy the journey, even when I know where the story's destination, what I heard about the original script's morally conflicted characters and gray areas explored leads me to wish for just a little more. The top four movies all demonstrated that you can have an amazing visual experience without sacrificing a great story, but maybe James Cameron needed another 15 years for that.

4. District 9: A great concept, a great story, and amazing graphics on a minuscule budget, District 9 managed to entertain me and make me think. It devolved in the third act a little, relying more on melodrama and blunt hammers of emotion instead of subtlety, but I was along for the whole ride and loved every minute of it.

3. Where The Wild Things Are: With the exception of a slow beginning that had me looking at my watch, I spent the rest of my time in the theater with a huge grin on my face. This movie took me back almost 30 years, remembering seeing this book for the first time. The illustrations quite adeptly came to life on the screen, and the voice acting, which I thought was all wrong when I walked into the theater, was absolutely pitch perfect. Here is an excellent example, only surpassed by the next movie on the list, of how a film can be for adults and kids at the same time. It's not hard to make a movie that doesn't talk down to kids, but also has enough subtext, beauty, and intelligence for adults to enjoy it, too, yet so many studios decide to go the stupid route because it's easier (See Alvin & The Chipmunks: The Squeakquel).

2. Fantastic Mr. Fox: There's just something about the combination of the jerky stop-motion animation, the voice acting, and the delightful story that made me beam throughout the entire movie. This is Wes Anderson's version of Ocean's Eleven, and it works perfectly. I can't think of a single element of the movie that I disliked or thought should be changed. The only reason that this movie is not my number one movie of the year is that my other choice marginally came ahead in the category of repeat viewings.

1. Star Trek: I am not a fan of Star Trek. I've never seen any of the series, and the only movie I've seen is the one where they went back in time to save the blue whales. And yet the revamp of Star Trek is my favorite movie of 2009 – not something I would have predicted last year! Sure, I knew that it was likely going to be enjoyable, due to the director and writers, but I never thought it would be so good. I saw it three times in the theater and have seen it an additional three times since buying it for home viewing. And it is just as good every single time. In fact, the second time I saw it, I enjoyed it more than the first time. I rarely look forward to sequels, but this is one movie where I cannot wait until they come out with a sequel, something that still at least a year or two off.

Honorable Mentions: (500) Days of Summer, The Blind Side, Paranormal Activity, Taken, and The Time Traveler's Wife.

And here are the five worst movies of 2009:

5. Year One – What the fuck was Harold Ramis thinking? Or Jack Black? Or Michael Cera? This could have been hysterical yet it missed the mark so badly. So, so badly.
4. The Ugly Truth – Hearing Gerard Butler do an American accent was painful, because apparently he feels the need to talk like he has a mouth full of marbles. The predictable story and the flat emotion between Butler and Katherine Heigl just made this hard to sit through without getting frustrated at missed opportunities for smart writing or cliche avoidance.
3. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen – From the hour-long run through the desert to the racist ghetto bots to the humanoid Transformer to fucking robot heaven, this movie was so far from the fun romp of the original that Michael Bay should be ashamed of himself as he rolls around naked in his big fat piles of money.
2. X-Men Origins: Wolverine – If you're going to make a movie about a mutant who pops fucking metal claws out of his hands, which causes him extreme pain, makes him very cranky, and his origin is that he killed a lot of people, make it an R-rated movie.
1. Post Grad – Oh, Rory.

My review of Avatar (Spoiler Free)

Sunday, December 20th, 2009

avatar-movie-poster

Avatar is James Cameron's opus. He's been working on it for the last fifteen years, a fact that is certain to raise most people's expectations to impossible-to-meet standards. Without going into details, the film focuses on a future where the human race is attempting to mine an inhabited planet for a valuable resource. The inhabitants, a tall, strong, blue-skinned humanoid people called the Na'vi, are resisting, and so Na'vi bodies are grown that can be controlled remotely by humans so that they can walk among this alien race.

The story is predictable and simple. It's Dancing With Wolves meets Alien meets The Abyss. The original script treatment by Cameron had many more elements that created ambiguity and complexities that were noticeably absent in this version. I have no doubt that the director's cut will likely contain some of these aspects and will probably be six hours long, too.

Even with the basic plot and one-dimensional characters, the movie is phenomenal. I saw it in 3D, and the world was so engrossing that you begin to get lost in it. At one point, characters in the movie raised their arms, and I almost yelled at the people sitting in front of me because I thought it was them. You forget that most of the movie is not real. Each Na'vi is so realistic, with subtle facial expressions and a tangible feeling of having a soul, that you are fully invested in each of them as characters.

This movie earns its PG-13 rating. It's dark and violent and will frighten small children. The two five year old children seated behind me were perfect examples of kids who should not have been at this movie, especially since their mother had to leave with them about half way through. This is a movie for kids 10 and older, at the very minimum, and only those who have the attention span to sit still for almost three hours.

I thoroughly enjoyed the film and can't wait to go back and watch it again, this time in IMAX 3D. It's one of my favorite movies of the year. I give it four and a half out of five stars.

How to beat zombies

Wednesday, October 28th, 2009

Last night, I watched Zombieland, a hysterical zombie film and love story that now ranks up there with Shaun of the Dead
as one of my favorite takes on the genre. And just like when I watch porn, I left the movie thinking, "What would I do if I was in that position?"

Here's my quickie guide for the different ways that you can beat zombies:

1. The Hermit. Pack up everything you can, move to the woods, live off the land, and shun people.
Pros: Zombies stay away from the woods because there's less food they can catch.
Cons: Living off the land means you may have to drink your own pee at some point.

2. The Shopper. Find a large Super Walmart, barricade the doors, then clean out all zombies that may be inside.
Pros: There are only a few entrances that you have to block and once the zombies are out, they're out. Plus, you can live off the canned food and dried goods for months at a minimum.
Cons: You're living in a Walmart. The shame might kill you.

3. Gun and run. Travel around in a large RV, truck, or military transport vehicle with multiple people, all well-armed, moving from area to area, gathering food, rescuing people, and killin' zombies.
Pros: You get to travel and see the world.
Cons: At some point, one of your friends will get bitten but will try to hide it and then in the middle of the night will turn into a zombie and then you're all fucked.

4. Join 'em. Trap a zombie and let him or her bite you somewhere that won't affect your mobility.
Pros: Zombies are the majority, so you may as well just try to become king of the zombies.
Cons: Showers don't do shit for the smell.

I know which option I'd choose!

Zombie Avitable

My Review of Surrogates

Saturday, September 26th, 2009

surrogates-movie-posterSurrogates is a movie that takes place in a not-too-distant future where all interaction between humans is done through surrogate robots. From the safety of your home, you control a body that sees, hears, smells, tastes, and feels for you, allowing you to do all of the things you wanted to do in life without the fear of being injured or killed. You can have a surrogate that is a different sex, race, age, or even something that's brand new and unique. It's painted as an utopian future.

And, of course, in any utopian future, there is the faction of people who are unhappy with it. In this instance, the people who refuse to use machines to interact with other humans but who relish the human experience. And then there's the murder of a surrogate's user through the destruction of a surrogate, something that's supposed to be impossible. And Bruce Willis plays the FBI agent who investigates it all.

The movie had some really interesting concepts and in the hands of a better writer, or even as a movie longer than 88 minutes (or maybe a television series), it could have touched on some of the more fascinating aspects of this society. Have restaurants and hair salons gone out of business? Have surrogates gone to different planets and under the ocean? Could you make surrogates that are giant sized or microscopic? How do people keep from having their muscles atrophy?

Unfortunately, this movie just skimmed along and barely broke the surface of the ocean of possibilities. It was rather predictable, especially if you saw the previews that ruined the entire ending, and while everyone did a decent job acting, it was too heavy handed while being simultaneously shallow to really work well.

I'd give it a C.

Top Ten Movie Characters

Wednesday, September 16th, 2009

Single Parent Dad wrote two posts detailing his top ten movie characters and, knowing that I need blog fodder constantly, tagged me to list my own. Without further ado (and in no particular order of preference):

bueller_l

Name: FERRIS BUELLER (played by Matthew Broderick)
Movie(s): Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Strengths: Smarter than adults. Rules don't apply. Hot girlfriend.
Weaknesses: Bad wardrobe. Sister who knows his secret.
Favorite Quote(s):

"The question isn't "what are we going to do," the question is "what aren't we going to do?" "

"I do have a test today, that wasn't bullshit. It's on European socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not European. I don't plan on being European. So who gives a crap if they're socialists? They could be fascist anarchists, it still doesn't change the fact that I don't own a car. . . .Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. -Ism's in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, "I don't believe in Beatles, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus. I'd still have to bum rides off people."

martin_blank

Name: MARTIN BLANK (played by John Cusack)
Movie(s): Grosse Pointe Blank
Strengths: Deadpan hitman. Sociopath with morals. Great with a pen.
Weaknesses: Too healthy. Wants to quit his job.
Favorite Quote(s):

"They all have husbands and wives and children and houses and dogs, and, you know, they've all made themselves a part of something and they can talk about what they do. What am I gonna say? "I killed the president of Paraguay with a fork. How've you been?""

"I was sitting there alone on prom night, in a goddamn rented tuxedo, and my whole life flashed before my eyes. And I realized finally, and for the first time, that I wanted to kill somebody. So I figured since I loved you so much, it'd be a good idea if I didn't see you anymore . . .They're right behind us. So I was in the Gulf last year, I was doing this thing anyway. And I came up over this dune, and I saw the ocean… and it was on fire. The whole thing, on fire, and it was beautiful. So I just sat there and watched it, and that's when I realized there might be a meaning to life, you know, like an organic power that connects all living things, God, Yahweh, I dunno."

wednesday-addams

Name: WEDNESDAY ADDAMS (played by Christina Ricci)
Movie(s): Addams Family and Addams Family Values
Strengths: Twisted and dark. Goth before it was cool. Emo without all the cutting and crying.
Weaknesses: Afraid of sunlight.
Favorite Quote(s):

"Your work is puerile and under-dramatized. You lack any sense of structure, character and the Aristotelian unities."

"You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans, and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the road sides, you will play golf, and enjoy hot hors d'oeuvres. My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They have said, "Do not trust the Pilgrims, especially Sarah Miller.""

"I'm a homicidal maniac, they look just like everyone else."

chevy-chase-celebrity-photo

Name: TY WEBB (played by Chevy Chase)
Movie(s): Caddyshack I and II
Strengths: Rich eccentricity at its best. Master of zen. Great hats. Master of bon mots.
Weaknesses: Very irresponsible. Maybe too much money.
Favorite Quote(s):

"Don't sell yourself short Judge, you're a tremendous slouch."

"A flute without holes, is not a flute. A donut without a hole, is a Danish."

"You don't have to go to college. This isn't Russia. Is this Russia? This isn't Russia."

christopher-reeve-superman

Name: SUPERMAN (played by Christopher Reeve)
Movie(s): Superman I, II, III, and IV
Strengths: Invincible. Super fast. Super strong. Wholesome.
Weaknesses: Suit is a little gay. Too susceptible to a green rock.
Favorite Quote(s):

"I'm here to fight for truth, and justice, and the American way."

"I never lie."

leeloo_front

Name: LEELOO DALLAS (played by Milla Jovovich)
Movie(s): The Fifth Element
Strengths: Martial Artist. No shame. Gorgeous. Just needs love. Supreme being.
Weaknesses: Small language barrier. Might break if you put too much weight on her.
Favorite Quote(s):

"Big Badda Boom."

"I do not know love. I was built to protect, not love."

Juno

Name: JUNO MACGUFF (played by Ellen Page)
Movie(s): Juno
Strengths: Sarcastically brilliant. Knows what she wants. Excellent at outside furniture arrangement.
Weaknesses: You might not understand the words that are coming out of her mouth. The hamburger phone is so '80s.
Favorite Quote(s):

"No, this is not a food baby all right? I've taken like three pregnancy tests, and I'm forshizz up the spout."

"Wait… No! I mean, can't we just, like, kick this old school? Like, I have the baby, put it in a basket and send it your way, like, Moses and the reeds?"

"Yea, you just take Soupy-Sales to prom I can think of so many cooler things to do that night. Like, you know what Bleek? I might pumice my feet, uh, I might go to Bren's Unitarian Church, maybe get hit by a truck full of hot garbage juice, you know? Cause all those things, would be exponentially cooler than going to prom with you."

"Hi, I'm calling to procure a hasty abortion…"

rachel-jansen

Name: RACHEL JANSEN (played by Mila Kunis)
Movie(s): Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Strengths: Strong and beautiful. Adventurous. Not afraid to take on Hollywood power celebs.
Weaknesses: Directionless. Thinks a man who stops a blowjob mid-blow is a bad person.
Favorite Quote(s):

"Yeah, you know, there's so few personal shoppers and pet therapists. Gosh, it's such a hard life."

"I can see your vagina from here! I can see your hoohah!"

malloryknox

Name: MALLORY KNOX (played by Juliette Lewis)
Movie(s): Natural Born Killers
Strengths: Trashy in a good way. Great shot. Not afraid to claw her way to the top, or to the outside, whatever the case may be. Committed to her man. A romantic at heart.
Weaknesses: Daddy issues. Trashy in a bad way. Teensy bit volatile.
Favorite Quote(s):

"I do. 'Til you and I die, and die, and die again. 'Til death do us part."

"You stupid bitch? You stupid bitch? You stupid bitch? Mickey, that's what my father used to call me! I thought you'd be a little more creative than that!"

"That's the worst fuckin' head I ever got in my life! Next time don't be so fuckin' eager!"

dannyocean

Name: DANNY OCEAN (played by George Clooney)
Movie(s): Ocean's Eleven, Twelve, & Thirteen
Strengths: Smooth, collected, and cool. Manipulative but charming. Always has a plan. Confidence man beyond reproach.
Weaknesses: Lets his emotions get in the way of the job. Cries when Oprah is on. He gets caught a lot.
Favorite Quote(s):

"Cause the house always wins. Play long enough, you never change the stakes. The house takes you. Unless, when that perfect hand comes along, you bet and you bet big, then you take the house."

"It sure as shit ain't sad."

"You shook Sinatra's hand. You should know better."

HONORABLE MENTIONS:
Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox, Back to the Future I, II, III)
Leon (Jean Reno, The Professional)
Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory)
Betelgeuse (Michael Keaton, Beetlejuice)
Thomas Crown (Pierce Brosnan, Thomas Crown Affair)


Today's obnoxious Halloween reminder is to let you know that almost half of the tickets for the party have been bought! If you are planning on coming to the party and can't buy your tickets right now, please email me at adam at avitable dot com and I'll hold one for you. If you can afford it right now, don't wait any longer. Go buy your tickets before they're sold out!

Oh, and I still need vacation photos. I need 15 more people to submit a photo of them with or without their family in front of anything – just the basic type of photo that you would take during a vacation. Go here to submit one today and participate in the party, even if you can't make it!

The shallow movie critic II

Wednesday, September 9th, 2009

Back in June, I did the first "shallow movie critic" post. The premise is simple:

Who says you can't judge a book by its cover? I'll demonstrate the fallacy of that statement by writing completely accurate movie synopses based solely on the images on the poster.

Cloverfield

Cloverfield

Cloverfield: There's this guy who has the worst luck in the world. On the day that he's going to take his girlfriend up to the top of the Statue of Liberty and propose to her, a gang of terrorists blow it up and kill her while he watches. Despondent, he runs back to his home country of Ireland where he finds a magical clover field that has thousands of four leaf clovers. His luck changes instantly, and he is blessed with riches and many friends, plus an elderly uncle dies and gives him a castle. He meets a new girl and falls in love, and they decide to fly back to New York to get married but right before he gets on the plane, he trips and breaks his neck. At first he curses the clover field for taking his luck, but then when he sees the news that a meteor destroyed NYC, he realizes that he was lucky after all.

He's Just Not That Into You

He's Just Not That Into You

He's Just Not That Into You: A woman working at one of those factories that makes candy hearts is bitter about love. Every boyfriend she gets dumps her within weeks, and she decides that if she can't be happy, nobody can be happy. She starts making horrible messages to go into random bags of candy hearts, like "I have herpes" and "I'm leaving you because you won't do anal" and these bags are sent worldwide. One man finds one of her hearts that says "He's just not that into you" in the street after an angry girl throws it away, and he decides to track down the person who wrote it. He finds her and falls in love and in the end, she makes a heart that says "Will you marry me?" that she gives to him and he says yes.

(500) Days of Summer

(500) Days of Summer

(500) Days of Summer: In the days after the polar icecaps melt, our annual cycle changes so that we have a year and a half of overwhelming heat, followed by an oppressive winter for another 500 days. One young boy ignores the end of times and burning heat to write letters to the love of his life, who lives in another country, but he can't visit her because all of the boats broke when the icecaps melted and planes can't fly because they melt when they get too close to the sun thanks to the ozone layer disappearing. He writes her a letter for every day of summer and right before the winter takes over, he dies from skin cancer, which she doesn't find out until she arrives after taking almost all winter to walk across the frozen ocean to be with him.

Star Trek

Star Trek

Star Trek: The Motion Picture: Three super beings, each with a power over a part of the color spectrum, arrive on Earth. Aquagreen, Red Man, and Yellow Forehead are fish out of water as they look for someone with the mysterious power over the color white. They find a small boy who has dreamed in black and white his entire life and they help him with bullies and his unwilling-to-understand stepfather and he helps them unlock the mystery of the universe. Oh, and there's a bad guy who controls black that they have to beat with all of their powers combined.

Quantum of Solace

Quantum of Solace

Quantum of Solace: This guy goes around killing everyone who uses the phrase "Quantum of Solace" because it doesn't make any fucking sense.


And now your requisite daily Halloween Party blurb:

Did you know that Dave2 from Blogography drew an exclusive design just for our Halloween Party? It's only available for a limited time, and you can only get this design here. Don't miss out on a chance to own this awesome piece of art! For every order, a small percentage goes towards the party fund, so buy early and buy often:

Bollywood Night

Saturday, July 18th, 2009

Last night I went over to Faiqa and Tariq's house and had a Bollywood night with Britt & Jared, Hilly, and James & Carolina. We were served real Indian food that was delicious (even if it was toned down for my American palate) and we watched a Bollywood film called "Om Shanti Om". It was a fun night and both educational and entertaining!

Here are the top 5 things I learned about Bollywood movies:

5. The word "fish" is a perfectly good substitute for "fuck".
4. Alternating between Hindi and English is a good way to confuse the hell out of white people.
3. There is no such thing as "too many musical numbers" or "too long of a movie".
2. If you ever get stranded in India, just call everybody "Dude". They'll totally get it.
1. When in doubt, dance your fishin' ass off.

For your viewing pleasure, here's one of the more popular songs from the film. This song is notable because more huge Bollywood stars appeared together to sing and dance than ever before. You might recognize Bhrad Patel, Ghiorgi Kharouni, Rhaboort D'Neerah, Anjuli Shulie, and Sanjya Bhoolik if you look closely.

My review of Bruno (spoiler-free)

Tuesday, July 14th, 2009

bruno-movie-poster

Do you think people suck? Do you already have a pessimistic outlook on how low humanity has sunk? Do you know that there are people in the world who have no morals and should probably just be buried in a ditch?

If your answer is yes to any or all of these questions, Bruno is the movie for you. It puts multiple faces on the ugliness of humanity, exposed by Sacha Baron Cohen's flamboyantly stereotyped Bruno, and it's hilarious.

If, however, you still have hope in your heart that people are inherently good, this movie may make you question your outlook on life. It may make you sad and cry. It will also make you laugh, but there will be moments where you will literally recoil in horror at the things that real people do and say.

Bruno was hysterically funny for me and improved upon the concept of the quite-funny Borat. It's irreverent, it's shocking, it's gross, and it's very very real. With no filter on what humanity can be like when exposed to the light of day, Bruno moves from uncomfortable laughter at prejudice, child endangerment, and hate to side-splitting laughter at pushing the envelope, shock humor, and penises. I will definitely be buying it on Blu Ray to see what bits, interviews, and horrors were left on the cutting room floor.