The One Where I …
- Pose for Playgirl
- Talk about my divorce 2 3
- Review sex toys
- Horrify you with my Aristocrats joke
- Discuss my weight loss
- Prove I'm an expert 2 3
- Show you my balls
- Interview my dead grandmother
- Want to have a child
- Go on my first date as a divorced man
- Teach you about dirty talk
- Go to a strip club for the first time
- Talk to a heroin addict
- Discuss auto-erotica
- Console a grieving mother
- Write a letter to my body
- Review my life lessons
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- Andy Rooney
- Steve Jobs
- Amy Winehouse
- Leonard Stern, creator of Mad Libs
- Jack Kevorkian
- Randy "Macho Man" Savage
- Osama bin Laden
- Elizabeth Taylor
- Jack LaLanne
- Leslie Nielsen
- Bob Guccione
- Barbara Billingsley
- Tony Curtis
- Dennis Hopper
- Gary Coleman
- Chinese murderer**
- Casey, aka Moosh In Indy*
- Adolf Hitler
- Peter Graves
- Corey Haim
- My Grandmother**
- Roy Scheider
- Zelda Rubinstein, J.D. Salinger
- Brittany Murphy
- Oral Roberts
- John Lennon
- Ken Ober
- Henry Gibson
- Patrick Swayze
- Ted Kennedy
- John Hughes
- Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett
- Walter Cronkite
- Billy Mays
- Ed McMahon
- Stephen Hawking*
- Robert Novak
- Caylee Anthony
- David Carradine
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
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Recent Posts
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Tag Archives: My Art
The Mixed-Up Files of Ms. Poppy E. Cede
Today is the 35th birthday of the quirky, funny, amazing, lovely Poppy, and in her honor, here is a little quiz. Has Poppy ever . . . 1. Had a threesome with two gay men? 2. Vandalized a church statue … Continue reading
Posted in Bloggers, My Art
Tagged avitable, birthday, blogger, Bloggers, My Art, poppy, poppy cede
30 Comments
What I think today will be like at #BlogHer
(click to embiggen)
Sunday Becky Sunday
Today is the birthday of someone who I swear literally has rainbows shooting out of her ass. She’s perpetually cheery, lets issues run down her back like water, has the largest natural boobs I think I’ve ever seen, and devours … Continue reading
Posted in Bloggers, My Art
Tagged avitable, becky, birthday, hellohahanarf, midnight cliff, My Art
17 Comments
If I was on TV
Also, today is a friend’s birthday. She turns some horribly old age and will probably celebrate it by bathing until she’s pruny and trying not to smoke while she bakes awesome cupcakes and dotes on her sons. Give her good … Continue reading
Posted in My Art
Tagged avitable, birthday, bluepaintred, comedy, humor, My Art, puns, television
48 Comments
Hate me
You may hate me, because this? This is my commute. ****************** In other Avita-news: Tonight (that’s Wednesday night for you maroons out there) is a brand new installment of “Clearly, You’re Retarded”! Tonight’s episode is all about friendship. What makes … Continue reading
It’s Santastic!
Merry Christmas, everybody.
Calling all Indian and Middle Eastern stereotypes
Sunday night, Amy and I went to dinner, along with Miss Britt, Mister Britt, and the Brittlings, to the lovely home of Faiqa and her husband Tariq (and their daughter). As you can imagine, dining at the household of a … Continue reading
Is the 7th anniversary the dildo anniversary?
Click for larger: Happy anniversary, sweetie!
Posted in Love and marriage, My Art
Tagged anniversary, avitable, love, marriage, My Art, seven year itch, wedding
55 Comments








