The One Where I …
- Pose for Playgirl
- Talk about my divorce 2 3
- Review sex toys
- Horrify you with my Aristocrats joke
- Discuss my weight loss
- Prove I'm an expert 2 3
- Show you my balls
- Interview my dead grandmother
- Want to have a child
- Go on my first date as a divorced man
- Teach you about dirty talk
- Go to a strip club for the first time
- Talk to a heroin addict
- Discuss auto-erotica
- Console a grieving mother
- Write a letter to my body
- Review my life lessons
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- Andy Rooney
- Steve Jobs
- Amy Winehouse
- Leonard Stern, creator of Mad Libs
- Jack Kevorkian
- Randy "Macho Man" Savage
- Osama bin Laden
- Elizabeth Taylor
- Jack LaLanne
- Leslie Nielsen
- Bob Guccione
- Barbara Billingsley
- Tony Curtis
- Dennis Hopper
- Gary Coleman
- Chinese murderer**
- Casey, aka Moosh In Indy*
- Adolf Hitler
- Peter Graves
- Corey Haim
- My Grandmother**
- Roy Scheider
- Zelda Rubinstein, J.D. Salinger
- Brittany Murphy
- Oral Roberts
- John Lennon
- Ken Ober
- Henry Gibson
- Patrick Swayze
- Ted Kennedy
- John Hughes
- Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett
- Walter Cronkite
- Billy Mays
- Ed McMahon
- Stephen Hawking*
- Robert Novak
- Caylee Anthony
- David Carradine
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
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Recent Posts
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Tag Archives: pimping
Tits on the Radio
[Audio clip: view full post to listen] A few Friday points worth mentioning: First, I promised Kyra that I’d pimp her radio show if she’d send me a video of her having sex with an action figure of Batman. She … Continue reading
Whorsday
First, let’s talk about Coke Rewards. Every 12-pack and 20-pack and 24-pack of cans of Coca-Cola brand soda and every individual bottle of soda has a Coke Rewards number on it, making it worth anywhere from 3 points to 20. … Continue reading
Posted in Whoring
Tagged avitable, coke-rewards, i-can-has-cheezburger, ichc, lolcats, mycokerewards, pimping, whall, Whoring
59 Comments
The importance of voting
No, I’m not talking about the primaries. I’m talking about the Bloggies! I’m going to trade in all of this goodwill I have and urge you – nay, demand that you go vote for two well-deserving bloggers. First, we have … Continue reading
Posted in Bloggers
Tagged avitable, awards, bloggies, dooce, pimping, puntabulous, sarcastica, weblog-awards
61 Comments
Pimping for a Vote
Over at I Mei Pensieri, the RFS Blog Awards are going on again. And I have been nominated in several categories. I’d like to encourage you to go over there and vote, and I’ll even tell you how I’ll be … Continue reading
Posted in Whoring
Tagged avitable, awards, pimping, really-fucking-stupid-blog-awards, rfs-blog-awards, Whoring
19 Comments
Abigail van Buren was a cocksucker
When I was a kid, I’d read the paper every Sunday, including the comics, Marilyn vos Savant, and Dear Abby. And even at the tender age of 7, I would think to myself that Abigail van Buren was someone I’d … Continue reading
My first time
I usually don’t write about serious things, but I’m in the mood. This is a post where I bare my heart and soul and talk about my first time. It was right before I left for college. I had (along … Continue reading
Nothing to see here
Too tired to write anything substantial today. Instead, I’ll direct you over to a hilarious video blog post by Heather. She’s drunk, she’s wearing Mickey Mouse ears, and she’s playing with action figures. What could be funnier? So, go check … Continue reading
Bullets are flying
I have just realized that almost every post I’ve written in recent history has had either bullets or a numbered list as the focus of the post. What the fuck is up with that? And here I was about to … Continue reading
Posted in General
Tagged avitable, bloggers-choice-awards, comedy, funny, humor, pimping
51 Comments
It’s hard being a pimp
I’ve decided to stop whoring for votes for “Best Humor Blog” because at this point, I’ll either get it or I won’t. And if I don’t, the old vanguard will. So I’m changing over to pimping. While there are many … Continue reading








