The One Where I …
- Pose for Playgirl
- Talk about my divorce 2 3
- Review sex toys
- Horrify you with my Aristocrats joke
- Discuss my weight loss
- Prove I'm an expert 2 3
- Show you my balls
- Interview my dead grandmother
- Want to have a child
- Go on my first date as a divorced man
- Teach you about dirty talk
- Go to a strip club for the first time
- Talk to a heroin addict
- Discuss auto-erotica
- Console a grieving mother
- Write a letter to my body
- Review my life lessons
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- Andy Rooney
- Steve Jobs
- Amy Winehouse
- Leonard Stern, creator of Mad Libs
- Jack Kevorkian
- Randy "Macho Man" Savage
- Osama bin Laden
- Elizabeth Taylor
- Jack LaLanne
- Leslie Nielsen
- Bob Guccione
- Barbara Billingsley
- Tony Curtis
- Dennis Hopper
- Gary Coleman
- Chinese murderer**
- Casey, aka Moosh In Indy*
- Adolf Hitler
- Peter Graves
- Corey Haim
- My Grandmother**
- Roy Scheider
- Zelda Rubinstein, J.D. Salinger
- Brittany Murphy
- Oral Roberts
- John Lennon
- Ken Ober
- Henry Gibson
- Patrick Swayze
- Ted Kennedy
- John Hughes
- Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett
- Walter Cronkite
- Billy Mays
- Ed McMahon
- Stephen Hawking*
- Robert Novak
- Caylee Anthony
- David Carradine
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
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Tag Archives: poem
Maybe.
He saunters, catching their eyes and offering smiles. “Notice me, notice me!” Even though he knows that’s not enough. When approached, he shrugs it off. “Lavish me, lavish me!” It cannot be enough. The nonchalance on the outside cracks easily … Continue reading
Search keyphrases: A beat poem by Avitable
Thanks to Grace for the idea.
Posted in Vlog
Tagged analytics, beat poetry, comedy, google, humor, keyphrases, keywords, poem, poetry, search
41 Comments
This Friday the thirteenth day
This Friday the thirteenth day I missed the ladder in my way I stepped away onto a crack And crossed paths with a cat so black I knocked but twice on a piece of wood Didn’t throw the salt like … Continue reading
Posted in My Art
Tagged antigonish, friday the thirteenth, hughes mearns, My Art, paraskevidekatriaphobia, poem, poetry
11 Comments
O Bama my Bama!
It’s really fucking weird what random shit comes to you when you’re taking a shower. With apologies to Walt Whitman. O Bama my Bama! The painful part is done; The country’s weathered pain galore, the tasks before us aren’t fun; … Continue reading
Ass sweat: a poem
It rolls downhill, gathering speed as it hugs the contours of my shoulders and back. The quiet waits to be shattered by the sound of my AC but instead it mocks me and the sweat continues to travel Joined by … Continue reading








