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- Andy Rooney
- Steve Jobs
- Amy Winehouse
- Leonard Stern, creator of Mad Libs
- Jack Kevorkian
- Randy "Macho Man" Savage
- Osama bin Laden
- Elizabeth Taylor
- Jack LaLanne
- Leslie Nielsen
- Bob Guccione
- Barbara Billingsley
- Tony Curtis
- Dennis Hopper
- Gary Coleman
- Chinese murderer**
- Casey, aka Moosh In Indy*
- Adolf Hitler
- Peter Graves
- Corey Haim
- My Grandmother**
- Roy Scheider
- Zelda Rubinstein, J.D. Salinger
- Brittany Murphy
- Oral Roberts
- John Lennon
- Ken Ober
- Henry Gibson
- Patrick Swayze
- Ted Kennedy
- John Hughes
- Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett
- Walter Cronkite
- Billy Mays
- Ed McMahon
- Stephen Hawking*
- Robert Novak
- Caylee Anthony
- David Carradine
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
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Tag Archives: poetry
If you’re going to stalk me, do it right!
If you’re there, you must be aware; That you’re in the land of Avitable. I like to swear in my underwear; And nudity is inevitable. And it’s rare that I’m not prepared; With a daily post that’s available. But if … Continue reading
Maybe.
He saunters, catching their eyes and offering smiles. “Notice me, notice me!” Even though he knows that’s not enough. When approached, he shrugs it off. “Lavish me, lavish me!” It cannot be enough. The nonchalance on the outside cracks easily … Continue reading
The horrifying, angsty, overly dramatic, really bad poetry of Adam Avitable, age 15, in which I invoke Satan.
A horrible thing happened on August 6, 1992. It was devastating and completely shattered my world. The only problem is that I don’t remember what it was. I don’t remember anything happening that was so destructive that I wanted to … Continue reading
Search keyphrases: A beat poem by Avitable
Thanks to Grace for the idea.
Posted in Vlog
Tagged analytics, beat poetry, comedy, google, humor, keyphrases, keywords, poem, poetry, search
41 Comments
This Friday the thirteenth day
This Friday the thirteenth day I missed the ladder in my way I stepped away onto a crack And crossed paths with a cat so black I knocked but twice on a piece of wood Didn’t throw the salt like … Continue reading
Posted in My Art
Tagged antigonish, friday the thirteenth, hughes mearns, My Art, paraskevidekatriaphobia, poem, poetry
11 Comments
Where Mel Gibson lives (with apologies to Shel Silverstein)
There is a place where Mel Gibson lives All around the hate begins, And there the folks are mainly white, And there the words are formed from spite, And there evil words have taken flight To deny the Holocaust sin. … Continue reading
Posted in satire
Tagged bigotry, comedy, humor, mel gibson, poetry, prejudice, shel silverstein, where the sidewalk ends
29 Comments
O Bama my Bama!
It’s really fucking weird what random shit comes to you when you’re taking a shower. With apologies to Walt Whitman. O Bama my Bama! The painful part is done; The country’s weathered pain galore, the tasks before us aren’t fun; … Continue reading
Twas the night
Two years ago I wrote my own version of “Twas the Night Before Christmas”. I thought I’d share it with you again: Twas the night With apologies to Clement Clarke Moore: ‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through my … Continue reading
Posted in Dirty talk
Tagged christmas, christmas eve, comedy, crude, humor, poetry, profane, twas the night, vulgar
17 Comments
Ass sweat: a poem
It rolls downhill, gathering speed as it hugs the contours of my shoulders and back. The quiet waits to be shattered by the sound of my AC but instead it mocks me and the sweat continues to travel Joined by … Continue reading
Ode to that guy riding a scooter
Ode to that guy riding a scooter: Powder blue scooter puttering through traffic 40 mph just out of reach Buddy, does your mother know that you’re gay? Ode to my client who is a moron: Oh client, my client Your … Continue reading
