Today's Labor Day, a holiday that I hate. Since it's a Federal holiday, it's just a way for the government to fuck over those of us who are employers, even though we'd really like our employees to come into work and, maybe, labor!

It seems to me that for the Federal government to set aside a day celebrating the corrupt, overblown, wage-inflating labor unions is kind of stupid. It's like having a day remembering a war that you lost, or recognizing deadbeat dads. Or herpes.

I think that the US has gone a bit overboard with Federal holidays. There are a few that I'm okay with, like Thanksgiving, New Year's, Independence Day, and Christmas. I only find Christmas acceptable because I view it as being an all-encompassing holiday that covers Chanukah, Rosh Hashanah, Diwali, and any of the holy days during Ramadan. They should just rename it "Winter Holiday", though.

Here are the official Federal holidays with which I have an issue:

Martin Luther King, Jr. Day: I understand that he was a great man, and he has inspired thousands of people, but giving people the day off work in his name just seems unnecessary. There are plenty of great men who don't get holidays. If you want to celebrate MLK's message, why not make it a holiday where you try to pay it forward or help someone, but only after you worked your normal 8-hour day.

President's Day: They're elected officials. Public servants. Having a day to celebrate them for doing their fucking jobs is one of the reasons that presidencies and the senate and congress have become almost like royalty. Maybe we should have a McDonald's Burger Flipper Day. They're just doing their job, too.

Memorial Day: I think it's a great idea to have a holiday that remembers those who sacrificed their lives defending our country. But can't we merge this holiday and Veteran's Day into one? I mean, Memorial Day is for the dead soldiers and Veteran's Day is for the ones who survived, so I don't think you'd have any conflicts with the parade.

Labor Day: I've already explained why I think this is a useless holiday.

Columbus Day: It just seems to me that since we already have a day that celebrates when we became a nation, so remembering the guy who wasn't actually the first person to discover the land we stole from someone else is pretty obnoxious. It's like we just continue patting ourselves on the back.

And this just covers the Federal holidays – there are plenty of other ridiculous holidays like Grandparent's Day, Arbor Day, Earth Day, April Fool's Day, but at least I don't have to let my employees take the day off to celebrate them.

In other, completely unrelated news, the contest over at Hot Blogger Calendar was over at midnight last night. They hid the vote tallies all day on Sunday, but unless there was a huge upset, I should still be in the top 12, and I want to thank everyone who voted. As I promised (or as I threatened, depending on your perspective), since I received well over the number of votes needed to strip the last piece off of my picture, you can click here to see the final Avitable reveal.

Thanks again to everyone and enjoy Labor Day, you shiftless, money grubbing, worthless, lazy bastards.