The One Where I …
- Pose for Playgirl
- Talk about my divorce 2 3
- Review sex toys
- Horrify you with my Aristocrats joke
- Discuss my weight loss
- Prove I'm an expert 2 3
- Show you my balls
- Interview my dead grandmother
- Want to have a child
- Go on my first date as a divorced man
- Teach you about dirty talk
- Go to a strip club for the first time
- Talk to a heroin addict
- Discuss auto-erotica
- Console a grieving mother
- Write a letter to my body
- Review my life lessons
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- Andy Rooney
- Steve Jobs
- Amy Winehouse
- Leonard Stern, creator of Mad Libs
- Jack Kevorkian
- Randy "Macho Man" Savage
- Osama bin Laden
- Elizabeth Taylor
- Jack LaLanne
- Leslie Nielsen
- Bob Guccione
- Barbara Billingsley
- Tony Curtis
- Dennis Hopper
- Gary Coleman
- Chinese murderer**
- Casey, aka Moosh In Indy*
- Adolf Hitler
- Peter Graves
- Corey Haim
- My Grandmother**
- Roy Scheider
- Zelda Rubinstein, J.D. Salinger
- Brittany Murphy
- Oral Roberts
- John Lennon
- Ken Ober
- Henry Gibson
- Patrick Swayze
- Ted Kennedy
- John Hughes
- Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett
- Walter Cronkite
- Billy Mays
- Ed McMahon
- Stephen Hawking*
- Robert Novak
- Caylee Anthony
- David Carradine
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
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Recent Posts
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Tag Archives: presents
All I want for my birthday
If you haven’t already marked it on your calendars, my birthday is in 11 days. On January 26th, I turn the ripe old age of 34. Usually, on my birthday, I ask the Internet to send me gifts and candy … Continue reading
Avitable’s Gift Guide for the Four Year Old Girl
On Sunday, I have a little party to go to. I carefully researched presents to buy for Emma, who is turning four years old, and I thought I’d share my research with all of you so that if any of … Continue reading
Posted in I am evil
Tagged avitable, birthday, daughters, gift guide, gifts, gifts for daughters, gifts for girls, gifts for kids, girls, guide, humor, parody, presents, satire, toys
43 Comments
First Annual Avitable Holiday Gift Guide
Are you having trouble figuring out what to buy for your slightly effeminate son? Your geeky awkward daughter? Your MMORPG playing husband or wife? Your movie freak of a dad? Your snooty glutton of a mom? Your prayers have been … Continue reading
Posted in CYR, General
Tagged avitable, christmas, CYR, gifts, holiday, holiday gift guide, humor, presents, traditional
50 Comments
Aftermath
This was a very good birthday. Much better than last year’s. We had a whopper of a cake, some mean yet delicious fudge, some fun and games, , and lots of presents! Thank you Beth for the awesome Hawaiian touristy … Continue reading
Manna from heaven
This weekend, I received a package from Poppy. Before I could take any photos, though, I devoured the entire package whole. So here is my artistic recreation of the contents of my stomach, which include her package, among other items. … Continue reading
Aftermath
Yesterday was fun. We hosted Christmas dinner for about 15 people. I made mashed potatoes and used my newly purchased BACONSALT and it was awesome. We had ham and turkey and beef brisket and roast beef and mashed potatoes (with … Continue reading
Grazie
Here is the direct link.
Posted in Vlog
Tagged avitable, christmas, christmas-cards, presents, thanks, video, youtube
34 Comments
Help!
Ok, holy world of wise and intelligent blogocraticspherites. I’ve given my share of unsolicited advice, supportive noncommittal comments, backhanded compliments and answers backed by absolutely no research whatsoever. Now it’s time for me to reap something in return. What do … Continue reading
Posted in General
Tagged avitable, christmas, gift-ideas, gifts-for-parents, help, presents
81 Comments








