There's a downfall to notorious posts like last week's nutshot. Other than scarring your brains and retinas, that is. And that's the well-known issue of raising the bar. Upping the ante. Keeping it fresh.
After a while, though, you've done all you possibly can without becoming an online porn star. I mean, doing a full monty would be the next step, followed by my very own grainy night vision sex video. After that, unless I'm drinking bull semen or injecting my testicles with saline, I've pretty much run out of ways to be shameless and shocking.
How do you overcome this issue? How do you keep your audience guessing without fading into obscurity like Tom Green or stupidity like Bam Margera?
I have a theory about this. I think that humor, just like fashion, moves in cycles. Just like something trendy will go out of style and then eventually become trendy again, I think that humor is the same way.
So, instead of raising the bar to the equivalence of a centerfold for "Bears Quarterly", I'll just raise the bar all the way back to the beginning, when it was shocking to use certain ribald words and see the most mundane of stunts.
I'm just warming up, but here's some of the new old humor in my repertoire:
I say, I say, did you know that my car is so old it's insured for fire, theft, and Injun raid?
I once knew a girl who was melancholy. She had a head like a melon and a face like a collie.
Did you know that in the United States a woman gives birth to a baby every 15 seconds? We've got to find that poor woman and stop her!
What do you think? Stay tuned until next week when I post pictures of a king-size bed that men and women actually sleep in together and play a sound of a flushing toilet!
