Posts Tagged ‘sarah palin’

Sarah Palin emails Rush Limbaugh

Saturday, February 6th, 2010

If you've been paying attention to the news at all, you might have seen the conflict between Sarah Palin and Rush Limbaugh. Apparently, Sarah Palin demanded that President Obama fire his Chief of Staff, Rahm Emanuel, after it was reported that Emanuel said "fucking retarded" in a private meeting. She considered any version of the use of the word "retard" to be disrespectful.

Separately, Rush Limbaugh grew frustrated with protests around Emanuel's use of "retard", saying "our politically correct society is acting like some giant insult's taken place by calling a bunch of people who are retards, retards."

Now, you see, we have the bloated, drug addicted face and voice of the Republican Party butting heads with Alaska's biggest disaster since the Exxon Valdez crash. How will those Republicans who follow Fox News blindly know who to listen to? Should they go rogue or hope Obama fails? Which is it? This could break the Republican Party in half!

Luckily, Sarah Palin had a solution. I've obtained an exclusive look at the email she wrote to Rush to try to defuse the entire situation.

"Dear Rush,

I think we can both agree that it is in the best interest of this great country of ours to come to an agreement. I do have a problem with the word "retard", but I suggest as a compromise that the word "tard" is more acceptable because it has fewer letters. It also has a bit of a cutesy tone to it, and Toddy says that I do well with cutesy.

So if you would be willing to redirect your anger about people protesting Emanuel's statement, I won't worry about my little tard having his feelings hurt. This is for the greater good, remember, and no matter what, we have to compromise whatever principles we have to make sure that nigger doesn't get another term.

Love and winks,
Sarah."


In other Avita-news, today is the 38th birthday of my good friend and Geekette Supreme, Heather! She doesn't look a day over 25, especially when she's in uniform. Happy birthday, Heather!

Sarah Palin is a respectful individual

Friday, December 18th, 2009

Sarah Palin, the great white vaginal hope for many women who celebrate good looks and winking over intelligence and ability, was criticized yesterday for being spotted wearing a hat upon which the name of Senator John McCain had been blacked out. It was viewed by many as an attack on the ex-presidential candidate, even though Palin said that it was just her attempt to be incognito. (Because obviously, buying a different hat would have been very difficult.)

Critics, however, point to a few other actions she's taken that appear to be an attack on the American political system, the Republican party, and more specifically, John McCain:

  • The ownership of Twitter account @JohnMcCainSucks has been traced back to her IP address.
  • Recently supported a ban on the existence of AARP magazines anywhere on federal government property.
  • Started a movement to have the "donkey punch" renamed the "elephant punch".
  • Keeps mailing McCain tourist brochures from the real Hanoi Hilton.
  • Asked Russia if they'd let her shoot wolves from a helicopter if she changed nationalities and took Alaska with her.
  • Switched out McCain's Metamucil with high intensity horse laxative.
  • Ninjas.
  • Switched out his Medic Alert bracelet with a DNR one.
  • Her car's bumper sticker says "I BRAKE FOR NADER".
  • Faces Mecca five times a day and prays.
  • Said yes when McCain asked her to run for VP.

Everybody have a great weekend!

Why I like Sarah Palin

Saturday, October 4th, 2008

I don't.

However, a lot of people do. And I cannot understand it. I can understand what people see in John McCain – four years ago, if Bush hadn't run or if he had run as an independent, I would have voted for him. I think he's become a shill for his party now, but I can still see the attraction and I can see why.

The support for Palin baffles me. So I would like to ask my readers to speak up. I'm not going to judge you or make fun of you or make light of your decision. I don't want commenters bashing people for their decision.

I just want to know what you see in Sarah Palin that makes you think she's worthy of being Vice President.

Is it that:

1. She's a woman and you want to support a woman in the White House? If yes, did you support Hillary Clinton? If you are one of the Clinton supporters who switched from Clinton to Palin simply because of her sex, does the fact that each woman has a diametrically opposite viewpoint make you reconsider your choice?

2. If no to #1, do you see yourself in Sarah Palin? Does she feel like one of us? Is it that she feels like a mom with a family? If you do identify with her on a personal level, do you think that you would make a good Vice President? If you knew that her household income was almost $200K and she has assets of over $2 Million, would you still feel like she's just one of us?

3. If no to #1 and 2, do you think that she's an impressive leader? Have you done research and learned about her problems as mayor? About her issues as governor? Do you think that someone who is a Vice President of the United States should be able to name a major newspaper or magazine? What about a Supreme Court case? Do you think that she would do a good job as President when she seems uninformed in almost every area of running the world's most powerful country?

4. If no to #1-3, what is it? Why else do you like her?

Thank you for your input. I try to remain objective, and in a situation where I cannot, it's very helpful to have different perspectives so that I can see something that I must be missing.

I love Sarah Silverman

Friday, September 26th, 2008


The Great Schlep from The Great Schlep on Vimeo.

Oh yeah – check out my Sarah Palin sound bite generator! (No, it doesn't make sound – the sound bites are printed).