I usually don't write about serious things, but I'm in the mood. This is a post where I bare my heart and soul and talk about my first time.

It was right before I left for college. I had (along with some urging from my friends) decided that I needed to do the deed before starting my life as a college student and adult. An older friend of mine, Bryan, had recommended one particular establishment that he had used on numerous occasions. As I drove up to the building, my palms were sweating and I was quite nervous. I had only been in one bed, my entire life – mine! As you can imagine, it was with no small amount of trepidation that I entered the doors of the slightly dilapidated looking building which seemed out of place right in the middle of a strip mall.

Once I made it inside (it was very brightly lit and much cleaner and friendlier than I expected, given the facade), there was a young woman standing there, dressed very professionally. Sweating, I stammered out what I was looking for. She smiled very broadly and directed me to the back of the building, where there were several other people milling about. I looked around and immediately saw the one I wanted. It seemed so simple . . .

***

I sat on the edge of the mattress and looked up at the girl. She was younger than I expected, although I couldn't imagine that they would hire anyone under 18. What did I know about this business, though?

"Okay, Adam, now I'm going to do a few things, and I want you to tell me how they feel and what you think. First, though, you need to relax. I do this every day, and I am an expert. Just lay back, close your eyes, and enjoy, okay?" She had a genuine smile on her face as she said this, and I'll tell you – she was absolutely gorgeous. I wanted nothing more than to make her day, and I bet I wasn't the first guy to walk in with that goal.

I laid back on the mattress, and closed my eyes. I'm good at following orders from beautiful women.

"Do you like how firm this is?" she asked, guiding my hand. The mattress squeaked.

"Yes. That's very nice."

"Now put your hands here. Can you feel how bouncy and smooth it is? Wouldn't you want to be on top of this?"

"Oh yes."

"And how does this feel, Adam?" She breathed into my ear as my nose caught the faint scent of lilac from her hair.

"My God! That's fantastic!"

"And this?" The mattress squeaked some more.

"Wow, I am so glad I decided to do this! It never felt like this at home!"

Her giggle was infectious, and I could feel the moment coming. I was about to finish this transaction, if you will, and I couldn't believe it was happening so quickly. A few more exchanges, a little more bouncing and thrusting and feeling, and it was done. I felt warm all over. The moment was past, and I immediately tensed up again. I might have imagined it, but I think I saw the pity in her eyes.

This was where it got awkward. Sitting up, I reached for my wallet. "Do I pay you, or how does this work? It's my first time." I blushed furiously.

"It's okay, Adam," she said, "I can always tell the ones who have never done this before. You don't pay me – you pay over there." She pointed to a man in a purple suit sitting in a large, overstuffed chair on a raised platform.

"Thank you, Sarah," I said. "And what was your last name again?"

"Tsk, tsk, Adam," she admonished. "You know that we're not allowed to give you that information. However, if you ever want anything else – a double, one nightstand, a lazy boy special – just ask for me by name. I'll take care of you, sweetie." And with a gentle nudge, I began walking towards the man in purple, wallet in hand. With a glance over my shoulder, I realized that Sarah had already moved onto the next customer, and my innocence was forever shattered.

And that was the first time I ever bought a mattress from Rooms to Go.