Amy returns home after two weeks on the road on business.

Amy: Hey, babe?
Me: Yeah?
Amy: Ummm, can I ask you something?
Me: Sure. What's up?
Amy: When I was gone . . .
Me: Yeah…..
Amy: Did you watch porn on the bedroom TV?
Me: No, why?
Amy: I mean, it's okay if you did. I understand.
Me: But I didn't!
Amy: You can tell me – I won't be upset.
Me: But I didn't!
Amy: I know you do, so don't feel bad.
Me: But I didn't!
Amy: It's me, babe. You can tell me. It's okay.
Me: But I didn't!
Amy: Then why, when I was going through the DVR to find something to watch, did I find "Summer of Love", a story of two young girls exploring their sexuality, recorded from HBO around 2:30 AM?
Me: Ummmm…..
Amy: That's what I thought.

The truth of the matter is that when Amy's not here, I can't sleep without putting the TV on and usually wake up in the middle of the night to groggily turn the television off, so I must have accidentally hit the "Record" button on the remote when I was turning it off late one night. But I don't think she believes me.