The One Where I …
- Pose for Playgirl
- Talk about my divorce 2 3
- Review sex toys
- Horrify you with my Aristocrats joke
- Discuss my weight loss
- Prove I'm an expert 2 3
- Show you my balls
- Interview my dead grandmother
- Want to have a child
- Go on my first date as a divorced man
- Teach you about dirty talk
- Go to a strip club for the first time
- Talk to a heroin addict
- Discuss auto-erotica
- Console a grieving mother
- Write a letter to my body
- Review my life lessons
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- Andy Rooney
- Steve Jobs
- Amy Winehouse
- Leonard Stern, creator of Mad Libs
- Jack Kevorkian
- Randy "Macho Man" Savage
- Osama bin Laden
- Elizabeth Taylor
- Jack LaLanne
- Leslie Nielsen
- Bob Guccione
- Barbara Billingsley
- Tony Curtis
- Dennis Hopper
- Gary Coleman
- Chinese murderer**
- Casey, aka Moosh In Indy*
- Adolf Hitler
- Peter Graves
- Corey Haim
- My Grandmother**
- Roy Scheider
- Zelda Rubinstein, J.D. Salinger
- Brittany Murphy
- Oral Roberts
- John Lennon
- Ken Ober
- Henry Gibson
- Patrick Swayze
- Ted Kennedy
- John Hughes
- Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett
- Walter Cronkite
- Billy Mays
- Ed McMahon
- Stephen Hawking*
- Robert Novak
- Caylee Anthony
- David Carradine
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
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Tag Archives: surgery
Things I miss. Things I don’t.
As many of you know, I’ve lost about 120 pounds since last February, thanks to the lap-band surgery I had in March (Brief status update – I’ve plateaued for a little while, due mainly to my high levels of stress, … Continue reading
I am fat
My name is Adam Heath Avitable and I am fat. On my birthday this year – January 26th, I turned 32. And I weighed 410 pounds. My weight has always been an issue. In high school, it was the same … Continue reading
Posted in Serious stuff
Tagged avitable, diet, dieting, fat, gastric bypass, lap-band, laparascopic band, obesity, surgery, weight loss
419 Comments
General anesthesia
Some drugged up bullets for you: I don’t know what other people dream about when they’re put under, but I had one of the most mundane and boring dreams. In it, I woke up, went to to work, talked to … Continue reading
There ain’t no guy going at me that way
Luckily, I didn’t have to have a popopropielectomy. I’m writing this from my parents. I’m lucky to even have WiFi! Did I miss anything yesterday?
I can hear an echo…cardiogram
So, today (Wednesday), I’m going in for some minor outpatient surgery. In preparation, I had to go in on Tuesday to have an echocardiogram and a stress test done. The nurse, Lorena, was about 5’2″, 22-23 years old, and extremely … Continue reading








