Posts Tagged ‘tequilacon’

TequilaCon 2009

Wednesday, March 4th, 2009

As most of you know, TequilaCon 2009 is on the calendar and looks like it's going to be a blast. I broke out of my hermit shell last year and went, learned a lot and had an amazing time.

And I really wish I could make it this year. I've never been to New Mexico, and I've only heard amazing things about Santa Fe. However, I had one pending appointment in the spring where I didn't know the date, and today I found out that the date for this appointment has been set and will prohibit my attendance to TC 09.

Since there are hundreds or thousands of tens of thousands of you who were just waiting with bated breath for me to confirm if I was going so that you could flock to Santa Fe to meet me, get an autograph and lick my nutsack, I wanted you to be the first to know. Well, after I notified Jenny and Dave.

If you're able to put aside your tears and disappointment that I won't be there and still attend, have a blast. If you decide that life's not worth living in Santa Fe unless you get to meet me, I agree. I'm pretty fucking awesome. But you should still go – there's always the Halloween party in October, and I'll absolutely be there, large and in charge.

Fare thee well, Tequilaconners. I will miss you this year.

******
In other Avita-news:

When does someone from a foreign culture become American? Is it when they merely live here? Do they have to give up their traditions? What level of assimilation into their new home country is required for someone to be as American as apple pie?

This light-hearted topic will be the discussion du jour for tonight (Wednesday night) at 9 PM EST on this week's episode of "Clearly, You're Retarded." Britt will get mad, I'll infuriate everyone – it will be a jolly old time.

If you listen live, you can join everyone in the chatroom where there is usually a lively discussion going on that has nothing to do with the topic at hand. You can create an account at Talkshoe and download the Talkshoe Pro software or just listen as a guest. I recommend downloading the Talkshoe Pro software because even though it still has problems, it seems like the problems are more minimal with it. Hope to see you there!

If you're new to the horrors of Avitable.com, don't miss out. Subscribe to my RSS feed!

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Posted in Clearly You're Retarded, General | 34 Comments »

A man and his penis

Tuesday, May 6th, 2008

Everybody else seems to be recapping TequilaCon very well, so instead, I just put this video together to show some of the swag that we got in Philadelphia. I also included a very extra-special video clip from the night of TequilaCon where we all got to see a special part of our friend Karl.

Here's the direct link if you can't see it here. And here is the link if you want to buy a "Viva El Avitable" t-shirt:

VIVA EL AVITABLE - Customized shirt

Get this custom shirt at Zazzle

And as far as any additional recap goes, I met bloggers I've wanted to meet for a long time, spent time with others that I'd met previously, got elbowed in the balls, watched Iron Man, saw the Rocky statue, ate some delicious tater tots, gave lots of one-armed hugs, spent about $2,000, and had an amazing time. I'll be there next year without a doubt!

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Posted in Vlog | 62 Comments »

TequilaCon 2008

Monday, May 5th, 2008

I'll have more recaps later with photos and video, but for now, since I just landed about three hours ago, made it home, and am falling asleep as I type this. I'm sure I forgot a few people – email me at my first name at my last name if I did:

Things I learned at TequilaCon 2008:

I learned that Hellohahanarf has boobs that can double as pillows.

I learned that Christine likes to watch men masturbate.

I learned that Dan brings more bags to an event than a woman.

I learned that Dave2 wants my body.

I learned that Delmer is 12 feet tall.

I learned that Diana is actually a large black man named Polo, not an amazing woman with a very cool husband who just moved back to the US.

I learned that Dustin has a mom with great design skills.

I learned that Finn had all of our backgrounds investigated before coming.

I learned that Hilly can hit a crotch from a mile away.

I learned that Jan was faking it!

I learned that Jen throws a fucking amazing party.

I learned that Black Belt Mama doesn't get freaked out by male nudity.

I learned that Karl would have sex with his mother if the price was right.

I learned that Lisa loves me and Britt and Karl and Hilly and Dave and that wall and that plant and Dude and the floor and her drink.

I learned that Metalmom wants to lick my palm. Or my taint. I can't remember.

I learned that Britt - awww, who am I kidding? I already knew everything.

I learned that meeting NYCWD feels like you knew him forever already.

I learned that Poppy drinks gay blue drinks.

I learned that Libragirl is a Pisces.

I learned that Sandra is scared of the suburbs.

I learned that Shelli is totally Mr. Fabulous's sister.

I learned that Shiny is North Korean.

I learned that Vahid is a tattoo artiste.

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Posted in Bloggers | 62 Comments »

Don't bother reading this.

Sunday, May 4th, 2008

There's nothing here. It's Saturday afternoon and I'm just getting ready so I can head over to TequilaCon 08! I will capture as many drunken bloggers on camera as I can. Oh, and I saw Iron Man today – fucking rocked!

The winners to last week's contest and a new contest will be up next Sunday.

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Posted in General | 10 Comments »

Expecting an update?

Saturday, May 3rd, 2008

AviPhilly

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Posted in My Art | 32 Comments »

Well, fuck me sideways

Friday, May 2nd, 2008

It was yesterday. Around 11 AM. We're sitting out on my porch and Britt is smoking (loudly, as usual).

Me: "It's too bad that we're flying in on Saturday instead of Friday."

Britt: "I know! SHMMMACKPOOOOOFFFF! So many people are getting there tomorrow instead!"

Me: "Well, we'll still have plenty of fun. We'll only be missing Friday night, basically."

Britt: "Yeah, but SNOZARARSHMOONNNNNPHHHAA! all of the cool people are going to be there Friday!"

Me: "I wonder how much it would cost to change our tickets?"

Britt: "That's brilliant!" She punches me in the arm. "Go find out! MMMMARRZZZZPHOOOMMM!"

Me: "Well, yeah, but how will your kids get home from daycare? Jared works until 7 tom-"

Britt: "Fuck it! We'll figure it out. Maybe I'll just give Devin the keys to the car. PHHHHANNNNPHHHARRRGGHHHZZ! Go find out!"

Me: "But shouldn't we figure out the details firs-"

Britt: "Fuck no! Go find out!" She punches me again. "SHARMMMMMPHOOOONNNNNKOW!"

Me: "But-"

Britt: "Do it, bitch! I will stab you in your nose! WWWHHHOOOOOORRMMMMAPHOO!"

So, an hour on the phone and $360 later, instead of having all day today to plan my trip to Tequilacon and pack, I only had last night.

As you can imagine, I probably won't be replying to comments today or this weekend. I have, however, added a Twitter widget to the right of my blog, and I plan on tweeting regularly, so you can keep updated on the site, or just follow me.

See you all Monday!

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Posted in Bloggers | 39 Comments »