The One Where I …
- Pose for Playgirl
- Talk about my divorce 2 3
- Review sex toys
- Horrify you with my Aristocrats joke
- Discuss my weight loss
- Prove I'm an expert 2 3
- Show you my balls
- Interview my dead grandmother
- Want to have a child
- Go on my first date as a divorced man
- Teach you about dirty talk
- Go to a strip club for the first time
- Talk to a heroin addict
- Discuss auto-erotica
- Console a grieving mother
- Write a letter to my body
- Review my life lessons
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- Andy Rooney
- Steve Jobs
- Amy Winehouse
- Leonard Stern, creator of Mad Libs
- Jack Kevorkian
- Randy "Macho Man" Savage
- Osama bin Laden
- Elizabeth Taylor
- Jack LaLanne
- Leslie Nielsen
- Bob Guccione
- Barbara Billingsley
- Tony Curtis
- Dennis Hopper
- Gary Coleman
- Chinese murderer**
- Casey, aka Moosh In Indy*
- Adolf Hitler
- Peter Graves
- Corey Haim
- My Grandmother**
- Roy Scheider
- Zelda Rubinstein, J.D. Salinger
- Brittany Murphy
- Oral Roberts
- John Lennon
- Ken Ober
- Henry Gibson
- Patrick Swayze
- Ted Kennedy
- John Hughes
- Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett
- Walter Cronkite
- Billy Mays
- Ed McMahon
- Stephen Hawking*
- Robert Novak
- Caylee Anthony
- David Carradine
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
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Tag Archives: toilet
Flush out the old year
Happy New Year!
I’m home! And now it’s time for a story about a toilet.
Yes, fuckers and gentlefuckers, I’m back. Well, technically, I got back Sunday at midnight, but I had all of these gullible guest posters in the wings and decided to let them post away. Thanks to everyone who contributed! I have … Continue reading
Posted in General
Tagged avitable, bathroom, cockroaches, comedy, humor, poop, roaches, toilet
60 Comments
The Throne Room
It all started with the shorts. A few years ago, I went to the bathroom in my house immediately after someone else had been in there. I sat down on the toilet, with my shorts down around my ankles, and … Continue reading
Pissunderstanding
Last night, I decided to call my little blonde (on the inside) alter-ego. I knew that, since it was after 8 PM, there was a chance that she had fallen asleep on the couch by then. Half of the time … Continue reading
Maximum protection
So, I was sitting on the toilet, pooping, and I ran out of reading material. I usually keep a stack of books, magazines, and comic books on the counter and stack them until they reach ridiculous heights and my wife … Continue reading
Futile
Last night I dream of toilets and peeing. I dream of oceans and fountains, and peeing in them. I keep having a recurring dream where I wake up, pee, and then go back to bed and then wake up and … Continue reading








