Tag Archives: voting

Election 2016: I’m with . . .

My opinion doesn’t matter. You’ve already dug in your heels, put up your blinders, and decided that, no matter what, you will not be swayed –  not by facts, not by conjecture, not by emotion. So my opinion doesn’t matter. But my vote does.

My vote matters, and almost more importantly, I’m not voting against someone. I’m not between a rock and a hard place. I’m proudly and firmly voting for a candidate.

While it’s unlikely I’ll have children, I have plenty of bountifully fertile friends. I have a nephew on the way. And I want to be able to look at those children – those perfect little humans, untainted by the prejudices, fears, and judgments of adulthood – and tell them that I voted with my heart, for them.

By the time they’re old enough, I hope they’ll be voting in a third- or fourth-party system, with a Congress that acts to benefit society because each senator and representative, finally subject to term limits, craves a better world to which they’ll return once their service is complete.

But more than that, I want them to be in a world where there is objective accountability for our police force, where all lives finally do matter and those important distinctions no longer need to be made. Where people can be intimate and share their lives with whomever they please without judgment and belittlement. Where religion isn’t used to divide, but to bring together.

This new world is going to have a scary transition period. There are so many white men who are terrified of losing their place of power and privilege and will do literally anything they can to keep a fingerhold on the edge of superiority. But eventually, one by one, they’ll fall, and an era of gender and racial equality will arrive.  The rest of us will know that there was never anything to be scared of at all.

Your children deserve a world where each person is valued the same. Notice I didn’t say a country. A world. We’re humans. Citizens of Earth. Homo Sapiens. We live in a global society, and we should embrace the move to globalization as a species. The only downside will be those who cling to nationalism in lieu of depth, or a personality, and in the long run, they’ll be just fine.

In this world that I can almost see, squinting my eyes against the dark, terrible sides and focusing on the bright, beautiful potential, we won’t assign more rights to a piece of barely viable tissue than a black adult man or someone from a religion different than yours. We’ll use the scientific tools and massive advancements at our disposal to better our society as a whole, not profit off of the weak and needy, building a home for all of us, where science, discovery, exploration, and expanding knowledge trumps superstition, fear, and ignorance.

As your children grow older, they’ll strive for greatness, getting the quality education they deserve without the yoke of student loans beating them into an early grave. And when they get sick, your children and their children can see a doctor without having to prioritize their health over groceries.

This future will still have the right to bear arms, but with some long overdue reasonability and understanding. Just like our First Amendment right to free speech, limited by being in a private home or workplace, by being obscene, by yelling fire in a crowded theater, by creating a clear and present danger, the Second Amendment needs some perspective. Bear your arms, but with limits, if only to prevent the deaths of children at the expense of those who misguidedly grasp at liberty.

Your children will be in a world where those who make the most money and who have benefited the most from the benefits and strengths of capitalization also contribute the most in taxes and support for others. Where nobody is afraid to report a sexual assault, where punishment is representative of the crime, and where we’ve decriminalized the drugs that do less harm than the pharmaceutical industry. Where our veterans get the medical treatment they deserve, educators get paid as they should, and the people have the power, not the corporations and sinking captains of industry.

I will be able to look your children in the eyes and say that I voted with my conscience and my heart for the betterment of humanity, not with my wallet. Not with the shadow of fear and hatred that can be dispersed with knowledge and research. I voted with an eye to the future, not a desperate need to return to the rose-tinted memory of an awful past. I voted for equality, acceptance, love, and generations to come, not for posturing and fearmongering, pride in belittling others, and a lack of accountability.

I have already cast my vote, and I sleep soundly at night with the confidence that when my candidate wins, our era of progress and achievement will continue, not have its flow staunched by ignorance and unintelligence.

I’m with her. I hope you will be too.

Not for yourself. For your children. For everyone.


I’m aware this may end up getting some controversial responses, but keep it civil. Any hateful speech will result in deletion and/or blocking, at my own discretion. Be the reasonable adult I know you can be.



Three days left

No real post today. But, if you haven’t already, please take the time to do the following:

1. Vote for my Room Of Your Own for BlogHer 2010. Even if you’re not planning on attending, a vote that you would attend shows interest and is likely to get my room chosen. If you don’t have a BlogHer account, you’ll have to create one, and you have to be logged in. It shouldn’t take more than five minutes, and the voting ends on Sunday.

2. While you’re logged in, vote for Faiqa’s room too!

3. Ask me anything. I’ll answer the questions in a later post:

(No, that’s not the comment form, retard. Scroll down to leave a comment.)

(Oh, and you can go here to see my answers and ask more questions.)

Idiots, idiots everywhere and not a drop to drink

For every smart, normal client we have, we have 10 who are gob-smacked morons. I purposely obfuscate the nature of the business I run for obvious reasons, but for clarity’s sake, just understand that we sell a service to professionals – people with advanced degrees and higher education.

Here’s an example of a recent phone call we received. I’ve made a few changes for privacy:

The phone rings.

Me: Hi and thanks for calling The Fucknuttery. This is Adam.
Them: ….
Me: Hi and thanks for calling The Fucknuttery. This is Adam. Can I help you?
Them: ….
Me: Hello?
Them: Hello?
Me: Can I help you?
Them: Hello?
Me: Hello?
Them: Is this The Fucknuttery?
Me: Yes. Can I help you?
Them: I’m looking to purchase some fucknuts, but I can’t tell how to order them on your website.
Me: Did you see the section of our website called “How to order?”
Them: No, it’s not there. I also couldn’t figure out how much the fucknuts cost.
Me: Did you see the section of our website called “Pricing?”
Them: I don’t see a section like that. I also don’t know what fucknuts are.
Me: You don’t know what they are?
Them: No, but I was searching for dipshits, and your site told me I had to buy fucknuts instead.
Me: I don’t think our site says that – dipshits are a completely different product. We don’t sell those or mention those anywhere.
Them: I’m looking at your site right now and it says, under where I typed “dipshits”, “Did you mean fucknuts?”
Me: What website are you on?
Them: Ummm, let me see. double-u double-u double-u dot google dot com.
Me: That’s not our website.
Them: You’re not Google?
Me: No, we are The Fucknuttery.
Them: Well, why is your information on here?
Me: Because you’re on a search engine. We are just one of the listings on there.
Them: Well, what’s your website?
Me: www…
Them: www…
Me: TheFucknuttery.com
Them: Vfucknuttery.com?
Me: No, [thee].
Them: “V”?
Me: No, [thuh].
Them: What?
Me: T
Them: T
Me: H
Them: H
Me: E
Them: E
Them: Ohhhh! [thee]!
Me: TheFucknuttery.com
Them: Okay, got it. Now what exactly is a fucknut?
Me: It’s a specific type of widget designed to help you flockle your hoosenagel.
Them: How much does it cost?
Me: Around $3,000, but we guarantee that it will work or you get a full refund.
Them: That’s too much money. I can flockle my own hoosenagels. *click*

Sidenotes of Whoredom and Pushiness:

If you’re thinking of coming to the Halloween party, please go comment on the page I’ve set up: http://www.avitable.com/neverwas/.

As of 11:35 tonight, when I’m writing this post, I have 202 votes in the Hot Male Blogger Calendar contest. That’s one shy of me having to remove the last piece of the picture! Wow, you guys are impressive!

I’m assuming that by Sunday at midnight, I’ll get at least one more vote, so plan on the big reveal to happen Monday. Don’t stop voting, though! I want to make sure I stay in the top 12 until voting ends!


Keep voting by using this link or the widget below.

Finally, did you see my new T-shirt? It’s stolen from a bumper sticker that RW saw:


Today seems like a good day to follow up on a few things.

First, I’ve set up a page for all of the Halloween information to be compiled, so you can find all the information about hotels and flights, buy T-shirts and raffle tickets, and ask questions specific to the party. This will also be where I’ll probably put photos and stuff after the party, so bookmark it now. http://www.avitable.com/neverwas/

Second, the Halloween Raffle has now sold 63 tickets! That means we’re almost to 100 when I can give away the Grand Prize ticket of a round-trip airplane ticket to Orlando. All you need is $7 for one ticket. Void where prohibited by law. Buy your tickets here.

That’s all about the Halloween party on today’s post – go check out the Neverwas page I’ve set up for some new information, and to answer some important questions I have for you.

Third, thanks to those of you who listened to our show last night about the drinking age. If you missed the show, download it here, or add it to your iTunes here.

Finally, let’s talk about the Hot Blogger Calendar competition. Last night when I wrote my post, I had 113 votes. I told you that I would remove on article of clothing from this nude picture for every subsequent 10 votes I received.

As I check the results right now, I have 181 votes. So that’s 68 votes all today – holy shit! I guess that means that six more pieces of clothing have to come off. That only leaves three pieces of clothing, and you have until Sunday at midnight to vote 30 more times!


Keep voting by using this link or the widget below. If I get more votes than I have pieces of clothing, I’ll have to come up with something even more ludicrous, so keep them coming!

Remember that movie Major League?

So, do you remember Major League?

And do you remember how the coach inspired the team by putting up a cardboard standee of the bitch owner? She had pieces of clothing on, and for every win, he removed a piece of clothing?

So, you do remember that? Why do I ask?

Well, there’s this thing called Hot Blogger Calendar. And I’m nominated for one of the Hottest Males. Right now, they are accepting votes, and the top 12 vote recipients will be able to either do a photo shoot in NYC or submit their own photo, and they’ll appear in a calendar that will be seen by trillions of people!

From now until midnight on Sunday, August 31st, you can vote for one person. Ideally, they should have allowed 12 votes, but they didn’t, so you have to be choosy.

And for motivation, here is a prime example of how I am the hottest hunk of man meat to ever type one of these here blog things:

This is a picture taken during college.


The unedited original is a nude photo. Right now, it’s covered in 10 Photoshopped pieces of clothing: There are two gloves, two sleeves, a shirt, two shoes, two pant legs, and a crotch piece.

For every ten votes I get, I’ll remove a piece of clothing.

Since I already have 113 votes, I’ll start by taking off a glove!


Go vote for Avitable!

(Or you can just use the voting widget right here! I’m at the bottom of this list if you don’t scroll down at all.)

For Episode Eight of “Clearly, you’re retarded”, Britt and I will be fucking each other’s shit up at 9 PM EST on Talkshoe. The topic tonight is the drinking age – Should it be lowered? Should it be raised? What’s fair? What’s right? Join in on the fun by listening live! You can listen live online at Talkshoe.com, or download the Talkshoe application and you can chat and even call in!