You'd probably think, with my lazy-ass posts on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, that I have some amazing and interesting stories to tell about an action-packed weekend. And maybe I do, but today I'm just going to share the boring ones:

Friday. Amy declared that she was going to lay on the couch, watch TV, and didn't plan on getting up or doing anything for at least 12 hours. I called my friend Clown, and we decided to do some work on the Halloween decorations. And yes, I know I promised you an announcement about Halloween, but I'm waiting on one straggler who has to give me something first before I can do so.

I know that July seems early to be working on decorations, but we've actually been working on them since June. We have a lot to build, and four months isn't that much time! This is especially true because Clown and I are not the world's best handymen. When it comes to anything like building or construction, we're each half-retarded. While for most people, this would mean that by working together, you'd get one competent worker, that's not true in our case. In our situation, it means that we operate as one full retard. As a result, we have to build in plenty of time for fuck-ups, mis-measurements, injuries, and multiple trips to Home Depot.

We worked through the afternoon with very few problems or injuries, except for when I accidentally stuck my hand into the ceiling fan while declaring my awesomeness as a carpenter. I was very proud of myself because I managed to use that saw that you use to cut through wood on sawhorses with the guide and the circular blade – whatever it's called – and I cut a pretty straight line with only a few problems! I'm like Bob fucking Vila!

Since Amy was still enjoying the comfort of the couch on Friday night, I headed over to Britt's to play Guitar Hero III wish Jared a happy birthday. Britt cooked dinner and offered me steak that she bought at Wal-mart. I tried to politely decline but was overridden, told to "sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up" and so I ate my delicious steak, mashed potatoes, and broccoli covered in a cheese-like substance. The homemade cake was really good, although I did have to apologize to the whole family for eating most of it and rubbing it on my nipples.

Then we played Guitar Hero III for the Wii. I'd never seen the game played before, and it's a pretty cool game. Britt and Jared improved rapidly, although Jared's friend Tom kicked everyone's ass with his mad guitar skillz. I do have video of Britt playing that I will post if I have a chance. There's nothing funnier than seeing a little blonde firecracker yelling at the screen and jumping up and down while trying to jam on a plastic guitar. I played two songs – just enough to realize that I was horrible at it and that I wanted to get the game for myself so I could practice in the privacy of my own house. I can type 100 words a minute and can read 1000 words a minute, but I cannot press a button and strum at the same time. Yet.

Then, a little after 1 AM, I drove home.

Saturday. I don't really remember what I did on Saturday. I think we went out to lunch, and took a long afternoon nap, and we watched "No Country for Old Men". That was a very good movie, and while I understand why the film ended the way it did, I wanted more. That's all I remember about Saturday, though.

Sunday. We got up around 7 and went to breakfast. I love taking waffles or pancakes, smothering them in syrup, and then putting sausage links around the border of the plate to soak up the extra syrup.

After breakfast, we went over to the movies and saw an early show of "Hancock". I had already seen it on Thursday and really enjoyed it and wanted Amy to see it as well. For a Sunday morning show, the theater was surprisingly busy, and we had a couple of old fucking busybodies behind us who would not shut up throughout the entire movie. I have no problem telling obnoxious people to shut up in the movies, but I was feeling generous and decided to let these wastes of flesh live for once.

Amy enjoyed "Hancock" as much as I did, and I cannot understand the hate that it's getting from the critics. The critics of all people should know that it was directed by Peter Berg, who makes movies that merge humor and drama ("Very Bad Things" and "The Kingdom" come to mind), and why they would expect a typical superhero beats up the bad guy flick is beyond me. It's a hard film to market, though, and I wish they had just gone with an "R" rating and told the full story that needed to be told. All in all, it was a thousand times better than "Wanted" and a movie that I'll be getting on DVD, when it will hopefully be released replete with extras.

After the movie, we jumped in the pool for a bit and I got to play with my brand new video camera, which has underwater capabilities:

Then we ordered lunch, took a 3-4 hour nap, and relaxed for the rest of the evening. All in all, it was a great weekend. No stupid fireworks, no stupid cookouts, no stupid travel, just stupid relaxing.

What did you do this weekend?