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- Andy Rooney
- Steve Jobs
- Amy Winehouse
- Leonard Stern, creator of Mad Libs
- Jack Kevorkian
- Randy "Macho Man" Savage
- Osama bin Laden
- Elizabeth Taylor
- Jack LaLanne
- Leslie Nielsen
- Bob Guccione
- Barbara Billingsley
- Tony Curtis
- Dennis Hopper
- Gary Coleman
- Chinese murderer**
- Casey, aka Moosh In Indy*
- Adolf Hitler
- Peter Graves
- Corey Haim
- My Grandmother**
- Roy Scheider
- Zelda Rubinstein, J.D. Salinger
- Brittany Murphy
- Oral Roberts
- John Lennon
- Ken Ober
- Henry Gibson
- Patrick Swayze
- Ted Kennedy
- John Hughes
- Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett
- Walter Cronkite
- Billy Mays
- Ed McMahon
- Stephen Hawking*
- Robert Novak
- Caylee Anthony
- David Carradine
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
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Tag Archives: Writing
My expert guide on how to write well and become a professional author
Every day I write over 30,000 words, which makes me a de facto expert author. Granted, most of those words are in emails, blog posts, comments, tweets, and instant message conversations, but nitpicking is for children and people who are not expert … Continue reading
Posted in satire
Tagged author, guide to writing, how to publish, how to write well, humor, publishing, sarcasm, Writing
45 Comments
Where I’ve been and where I’m going. Also, more #BlogHer11 shit.
Have you missed me? I’ve been around, just not here. Over at the new satire site, Insert Eyeroll, I dispense advice with my monthly column. You can submit questions and know that you’re getting sage advice that will in no … Continue reading
A 21-day chronicling of the life of a 16-year old Avitable
The summer before my senior year of high school, my parents took me on a tour of colleges along the East coast. During that three-week journey, I kept a poorly written, horribly boring journal that I have recently unearthed. This … Continue reading
Under cover of darkness
It’s the magic hour. The road ahead is barren and black. Behind me, lights twinkle as stars from another galaxy. The sky is ink and the moon smiles. The needle passes 100. A shrug silences the music. A nudge lets … Continue reading
Twas the night
With apologies to Clement Clarke Moore: ‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through my home, there was no porn being watched, no stroking the bone; The lotions and tissues, put away with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon … Continue reading
Posted in Writing
Tagged avitable, christmas, santa, scrooge, twas-the-night-before-christmas, Writing
43 Comments
It’s a draw
I tried to come up with some lovely Avitable artwork for today’s post, but couldn’t think of anything. So all you get is another excerpt: On the plus side, I learned that my car handles driving in grass and off … Continue reading
Good start
I don’t plan on posting the whole content of what I write for every day, but I thought I’d post my first 1600 words. I’ll occasionally do excerpts for the future, though. I know it’s rough, and there are parts … Continue reading
Let’s see how it goes
Up until a few minutes ago, I still wasn’t positive about it. But now I’ve made up my mind. I am going to at least try to do NaNoWriMo. If I can average 1,667 words a day, I’ll get 50,000 … Continue reading
NaNoWriMo
So I’m thinking of doing NaNoWriMo, even though the name is retarded. For those of you who have no idea what that is, it stands for National Novel Writing Month. It’s a challenge to write 50,000 words starting on November … Continue reading
Stories
I’ve stopped and started 10 different posts, but nothing wants to flow. Sometimes that’s what happens – the thoughts are there, right on the tip of my proverbial tongue, but I can’t get it out in a way that makes … Continue reading
