weddings

The Best Wedding Ceremony You’ll Ever Have

“Adam is one of a kind. Just about every person that attended our wedding came up to us at the reception and said ‘That is what a wedding should be like.’ ‘He was humorous and respectful.’ ‘That was the best ceremony I have ever been to.’ I agree with them all.” -Sharon S.

Hiring me to perform your wedding is the first step into making it a night to remember. When you hire me, you don’t just hire a professional speaker and comedian. You get someone who is:

  1. A natural public speaker. You may have that friend who’s an ordained minister from the Internet or a notary public, but a wedding ceremony is more than simply having the ability to marry two people. Do you want your ceremony to be filled with “ums” and “ahs” and awkward and quiet and nervous? Or do you want it to be professional and smooth and like something out of every viral wedding video that you watched for months leading up to the big day?
  2. Funny and respectful. It takes experience and skill to walk the fine line in doing a ceremony that is both funny and respectful to the traditions and the decision you’re making to get married. The humor helps everyone relax – the guests, the parents, and most importantly, the bride and groom, but I’m not going to do a comedy show up there. You are the center of attention and it’s just my job to highlight you to the best of my ability.
  3. Dedicated to making it memorable. I write each ceremony from scratch so it’s customized to you and your future partner. I take the time to meet with both of you well before the event to get a sense of your personalities and traits. Each of you will fill out a detailed questionnaire, and at the rehearsal dinner, I’ll talk to your friends and family. What results is an original, unique ceremony that will stand out to you and your guests. I’ll even write a brief toast to perform during the reception if you need it – there have been plenty of times I’ve had to step in to save toasts by people terrified of speaking in public!
  4. Professional and highly capable. I’ve helped coordinate weddings when the coordinator got too busy. I’ve wrangled kids, tied ties, taken bridal photos, ran security, made drinks and plates of food for the newly married couple, set up tables, and done anything else that needs doing. When you hire me to perform your wedding, you’re not just hiring a minister. You’re hiring someone who’ll have your back all night.

“Never imagining I would get married and have children, I found myself six months post-partum with my father walking me down the aisle. Needless to say, not your most traditional wedding complete with a tea-length polka-dotted dress, and my dog in a tuxedo. Adding to my non-traditional theme, I was also privileged with the presence of my dear friend Adam H. Avitable as my officiant. While Adam has been in my life since birth, he had yet to meet my mister until a few days prior to the ceremony. Fully capable of recreating memories from my life, even those I wish he would forget, he did his best to accrue the same depth and understanding of my husband to prepare a heartfelt and personal feel to the ceremony. Combining a touch of traditional, humor, and heart, my ceremony was everything I could have hoped for. He was able to create moments of seriousness and laughter and most importantly, memories.” -Leah M.

Got questions about hiring me to preside over your wedding? I’ve got answers:

How much do you charge?

Let’s jump right to the most important question. Weddings are expensive, and hiring someone professional to be your wedding officiant instead of using your best friend’s aunt who loves cat sweaters and happens to be a notary can be an expense that you might want to avoid. I’m flexible with any budget, but my typical fee is going to be $200-$400. If I have to travel too far outside of Orlando, I’ll probably need a hotel room, too, and maybe travel expenses. But the wedding ceremony I painstakingly craft for you will be one that people will remember long after they’ve forgotten what the flowers look like, even if you spend $2,000 on them.

You don’t use profanity, do you?

Fuck no. I understand the difference between performing stand up comedy in a comedy club filled with adults and being a part of the most important day of your life, surrounded by your closest friends and family. The only humor is gentle humor that might tease each of you about your most prominent personality traits. Are you late all the time? Does your groom collect action figures? Did you guys meet on a blind date gone wrong? Whatever personal stories we discuss are used to develop a wedding ceremony that’s funny, personal to you, and still completely respectful of the tradition.

Will you use profanity if we want you to?

Fuck yeah. It’s your day, and we can set a rating. If it’s your fourth marriage and we’re going to be doing this in someone’s backyard with a keg and casual wear, I’ll be as R-rated as you want.

We’re having a themed wedding. Will you dress in the theme?

If I own something that works, yeah. If I have to buy something specifically for the theme, I’m more than happy to, but you’ll probably have to reimburse me for it. That said, I am waiting for the day that someone wants me to dress up as the minister in Beetlejuice. That would be amazing.

Do you marry same sex couples?

Of course. Indubitably. Absolutely. Yes. Si. Hai. Yup.

How do you normally dress?

It depends on the wedding. I can wear a black suit and a tie, or just a black shirt and jeans, or a t-shirt and shorts. It’s up to you.

Can I read one of your previous ceremonies?

Yes! When I presided over my first wedding for my best friend and his fiancee, I wrote about it online, and you can see the  customized wedding ceremony I wrote for them. Their ceremony was replete with references to movies and TV shows that they loved, because that was their request. Typically, it won’t be as chock-full of that and have a little more substance to it. In the end, it’s customized to you two and your personalities, needs, and the type of wedding you’re having.

We’re going to write our own vows. Is that okay? Will you help us with them?

Absolutely and absolutely.

How far will you travel to perform a wedding?

I’ll go anywhere if you cover my expenses, and as long as it’s a state where my credentials allow me to perform weddings.

How can I book you?

If you found me through Gigmasters, book me there, because the more bookings I get through there, the more exposure I get. If you found this page through Google, Facebook or a referral from a friend, go here to contact me. Just select “Wedding” and I’ll be in touch shortly!

 

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