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Old Lady

Today is the birthday of a blogger whom I’ve been reading for a very long time – one of my favorite bloggers, the Horny Horndog, the Perky Perv, Poppy! To celebrate her birthday, I thought I’d share some little known facts about little ol’ Poppy:

  • She says she’s in France. Others say she’s in Louisiana or Idaho. But the truth is that she surfs the web via satellite connection aboard her ark, which contains two of every animal in the world. She floats the seven seas, surfing the web, growing a small garden, and drinking her urine which was filtered ala Waterworld.
  • She’s turning 33. However, her boobs are 4, her nose is 6, and left arm is 1 (it’s cybernetic).
  • She has 135 cats. And they’re all named Kitty.
  • When Poppy drinks, she likes to go down to bars and beat up the biggest, strongest biker she can find. She’s banned from 14 bars in her home state now.
  • Poppy has an amazing ability to take any word or phrase and turn it into some type of sexual come-on. It’s quite impressive!
  • She can eat a 96 oz. steak in four bites.
  • They Might Be Giants once did a song dedicated to her called “Poppy smoppy foppy woppy”.
  • She has a tattoo that says “Fuck you, I’m walking here” on her inside thigh, next to a mole shaped like a four-leaf clover.

Happy birthday, Poppy! Here’s some artwork for you, but you can click it for the high res version!

Poppy and the Ark

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56 Replies to “Old Lady”

  1. Angel

    Your welcome Poppy, I hope that you have a great day today.

    I’ve been around here and there, reading a lot, but not commenting much because I have been busier than one legged man in an ass-kicking contest. In addition to being busy, I am stealing every moment that I can to read my book.

  2. Poppy

    RW – I am drunk for my birthday. I understand 10% of your words. Say it all again.

    Angel – What have you been busy with?! MAybe I shouldb e reading hte boobie blog. And not being so drunk when I write co mments. becuae I make a lot of typos when im drun. πŸ˜›

  3. Avitable

    Poppy, happy birthday, Drunkie McDrunk!

    Princess V, that’s “cumpleanos”. Jeez! πŸ™‚

    RW, you get hoisted on your own petard a lot, don’t you?

    Angel, thanks! My animals are almost photorealistic, aren’t they? You haven’t finished HP yet?

    Dave, that’s quite a compliment coming from you.

    Mr. Fab, unless you’re hiding a vagina I don’t know about, we’ll see. I don’t even know when your birthday is!

  4. Angel

    No Adam, I haven’t finished yet…it seemed that as soon as I got the book every living person or animal within a ten hour drive of me (in my family) needed my attention for some reason or another. I have been pretty busy dealing with them, and really have not had more than two hours (total) to read HP.

  5. Avitable

    TrishK, my cat drawing skills are top notch.

    Heather, that we do.

    DaisyJo, it’s not shaved, either.

    Angel, excuses, excuses.

    Paticus, no, the bear is just friendly.

    Mistress Yoda, yeah, good point.

    Here Britty Britty, that’s African American Avitable Art.

    Poppy, this is the first almost fully colored artwork, I think.

  6. Tug

    :boobs5: :boobs1: :boobs3: HAPPY POPPYDAY!!! :sex023: :3some: :bukkake:

    :martini: still drunk? HAVE FUN!! :martini: :heartbeat: :heartbeat:

    August 28th Avi…your drawings are AWESOME. :boobs2: There, I flashed you for a drawing.

  7. Poppy

    Wow, I just read this post over again while sober and I’m so glad I did because the only thing I remember from last night is “steak”.

    My tits are not 4! They’re real!

    But everything else you said is completely true. Especially about the come-ons. (and I’ll leave the obvious follow-up to that unsaid. πŸ˜‰

  8. Avitable

    TMP, in a few years we can call her the Crazy Cat Lady.

    Helen, peace? Poppy’s all about war and danger!

    Tug, oh, so you think I’m going to do special posts for everyone now, eh?

    Annie, he’s just a friendly bear.

    Poppy, you’re just now reading the post sober? Heh.

    Dragon, you’ll have to email me a naked picture of yourself, first.

    Amy, what, no compliments on my awesome art? Fine, bitch!

  9. Brandi

    I came up with a theory…while I was drunk. That involved an ark and how it would manage to get rid of animal waste. The floors would slant towards a drainage pipe that could be flushed out to sea. One would use sea water to push the poo(s) and other matter to the drainage pipe. The only problem I’ve come up with (seeing as how poo in the ocean was not a big deal then) is how to make sure water doesn’t come up through the drainage holes when you open to flush out the matter.

  10. Avitable

    Tug, well, I only do birthday posts for that type of spesh. You didn’t know that Poppy, Heather, and Britt were retarded? πŸ˜€

    Dragon, oh, I can handle it!

    Brandi, I have a theory that maybe you should stop drinking.

    TMP, from the sounds of it, you’re close already.

    Poppy, I don’t have an overactive imagination. It’s all true!

    DangerDoll, she’s the freakiest!

    Steph, hi! Don’t see you around here that often anymore.

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