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AvitaWeek 2008: Hair of the gorilla that bit you

It’s Day 2 of AvitaWeek 2008, counting down to my 31st birthday. As always, you are encouraged to send me cards and prezzies, as those crazy Brits call them. You can even see what I like on my wishlists!

When I was trying to come up with ideas for this week, I knew that I’d have to make it more about me than usual. Since I’m an egotistical fuck, this is more difficult than it seems. I came to realize that there is very little about myself that hasn’t made it on this blog in some form or another, and that the only way to make this week different from others was to get more in-depth with Avitable. More familiar. More intimate. And clearly, there was only one solution.

So, without further ado, I present:

An Intimate Portrait of Avitable, AKA

Guess the Body Part!

Can you match the picture with the body part? You can click for a larger version (although I don’t know why you’d ever want these images to be larger on your computer screen). The body parts are:

1. Shoulder
2. Knee
3. Testicle
4. Butt cheek
5. Foot
6. Stomach
7. Chest

Leave your guesses in the comments. I don’t think I’m going to give out a prize for this one, though. Because just by reading this post, we’re all winners. Or is it losers?

And, while you’re at it, head over to Amy at Amy’s Musings to answer a plea she has for gift ideas for my birthday.

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94 Replies to “AvitaWeek 2008: Hair of the gorilla that bit you”

  1. Dee

    Ooooh, that was fun!

    1. Chest
    2. Foot
    3. knee
    4. testicle
    5. butt cheek
    6. Knee
    7. Stomach

    Although I’m concerned that I’m not sure 4 and 6 are round the right way because then when you get old and your testicles hang near your knees there’s going to be no telling the difference…

  2. Y2k Survivor

    What?!! How would I know what your ass and testicles look like? What the fuck did Britt say?!! I don’t know nuttin, In fact I have never seen those things on you… I mean if I had it would only be because they were like.. you know… THERE… someplace where they didn’t belong and I thought, “Wow that’s fuckin weird I can see Avitable’s ass and balls and…” but I would have only seen them and noticed because it was out of the norm, not because I wanted to know what they looked like so I could identify them in a picture line up. I mean… you know… not like staring

    Oh yeah… no wonder Britt bitches about her job. I can’t believe you made her take all those pics with her new camera. OH and I have no idea what #2 but I can see a face dude! It’s like some mutant out of Total Recall!

  3. Avitable

    Britt, no fair – you were the photographer.

    Amanda, I think you meant “turn me on”.

    Dee, you mean I’m not supposed to be able to spin my balls like a lasso?

    BPR, oh yeah – you like small hairless men.

    Jay, how’d you guess?

    Y2K, this is one of the perks of the job.

    Karen, disturbed is good. It means you’re normal.

    Wayne, yeah, but which nostril?

    Jester, you spend hours examining your own anatomy anyways – who are you kidding?

    Robin, tell you what. If you win, I’ll send you all of the original pictures.

    HG, I am ALL covered in hair, from head to toe.

    Robin, you’ll miss out on gorilla love that way!

  4. Cheri

    I’m with Robin on the hair comment – ugh!
    I’m not even going to try to guess. lol
    Happy Birthday!
    No, I’m not waiting 3 days – I’m saying it everyday this week, ok? Good!
    So :sex023:

  5. Avitable

    Metalmom, those are some interesting guesses. Stay tuned.

    Mr. Fabulous, I don’t know the meaning of the word enough.

    Poppy, well, you do own a copy of Avitable Gone Wild: the XXX edition, so you’re probably right.

    Cheri, all that hair keeps me warm. I don’t shed, I promise. And I’m okay with you saying it every day of the week.

    Hilly, I never kid. ๐Ÿ˜€

    Trish, an all over body wax job might make me go into shock.

  6. Poppy

    OMG, #1 is SO EASY and everyone’s being redonk.

    Ok, it’s not my fault that I was sent a copy FOR FREE before Britt came along and straightened you out on the whole for-profit thing.

    Want it back?

  7. Miss Britt

    Why does that surprise you?

    I’ve only known Adam for like slightly over a year. I remember because last year for my birthday he bought me a DVD player and I was all “who the fuck is this crazy bastard?!!”

    At least, that’s how I remember it.

  8. Crys

    for whatever reason, during my first pass of this post, i didn’t see the word “testicle”. i could have blocked it out. after reading the comments, however, i cannot blot the truth out. your testicle is there, in photographic form. and i’m supposed to guess? since you’re forcing me, 2. nobody else has said it and anyway, i’m psychic wrt testicles.

  9. Avitable

    Amy, where are your guesses?

    Poppy, nah – we sold the licensing to some Korean porn company.

    Nina, you should just make that picture your desktop wallpaper on your computer. For posterity. Your birthday is tomorrow? Happy birthday – how old are you?

    Britt, I haven’t been blogging long enough for it to be wayyy longer.

    108, you’re on. I’ll be at your house tomorrow. Do you do balls and taints too?

    Jeff, shhhh, don’t ruin the surprise!

    Crystal, that’s it? Are you afraid of guessing wrongly?

    Tracy, oh, I’ll show you the originals if you want to be blind.

    Poppy, I have a curvaceous ass!

    Peggy, hirsute not your thing?

    Maggie, thanks for the visit and comment!

    Britt, I got my first comment from Poppy on 3/21/06 and from you on 7/6/06. Not that long.

    Metalmom, I do hump things, though.

    Crystal, you’re a ball psychic?

  10. Karl

    How in the bloody hell have I not added you to my feedreader before this? More importantly, why am I thinking this is a brilliant idea and I wish I’d done it first? Does that make me sick or just welcome?

  11. DutchBitch

    Shoulder [6] (Schouder)
    Knee [1] (Knie)
    Testicle [4] (Testikel)
    Buttcheek [7] (Kont)
    Foot [2] (Voet)
    Stomach [3] (Buik)
    Chest [5] (Borst)

    And yes, that’s free tongue breaking Dutch lessons in between the ()… to pay you back for the temporary involuntary blindness I experienced after looking at my feed reader an hour ago… :boobs2:

  12. Kylah

    Okay, I’m going to give this a try:

    1. Knee
    2. Foot
    3. Butt cheek
    4. Testicle
    5. Chest
    6. Shoulder
    7. Stomach

    I’m disturbed by this, and I’m even more disturbed that I’m involved in this. You should be ecstatic you just exposed yourself to an underage girl.

  13. Sybil Law

    Also, your response to Kylah and saying you’re giggling and touching yourself – damn – that is good stuff.
    I seriously can’t tell what those pics are. I see a foot, but that’s it. How does your testicular skin look the same as the rest? Oh wait – I think I found it.
    I am clearly overthinking this!
    I will probably end up doing it.

  14. Avitable

    Kylah, as long as Child Protective Services can’t see them, I’m okay with that.

    DB, Wil je alsjeblieft mijn ballen likken?

    Absurdist, when’s your birthday again? I don’t want to forget. And what’s this about tits?

    Poppy, I am surprised you haven’t done a series of photos with you writing different things on your chest.

    Kellie, try it, you might find yourself falling for the dark, hairy side.

  15. Poppy

    (how about not on my chest? as in, I’m wearing a completely different shirt, and the shirt with writing is on… like, a stuffed animal or one of the cats? so I can stay virtuous and pure and stuff.)

  16. Carla

    1 Knee
    2 Foot
    3 Stomach
    4 Testicles
    5 Chest
    6 Shoulder
    7 Butt

    I think we have a winner! I hate to say this, but this was actually fun. Does that make me a twisted fuck or what? (Jen adds that, “No, it really wasn’t fun.”)

    Okay love you bye!

  17. hellohahanarf

    take a week and go to vegas for a trade show and see what i miss??!?! damn!

    i say you post more photos of your balls.

    oh, your birthday present will be late (obviously). i’m gonna buy it in mexico next week. be patient, k?

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