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This is all I’ve got for today

Because a certain fucker hasn’t sent me the pictures that she took, I don’t have the pictures I wanted to post as part of a recap. Tomorrow I should have an actual birthday recap with photos and thanks and everything going out to all of the awesome people out there. Since my plans for today’s post have been scrapped, I’m just going to share the card I scanned that I received from Sybil Law, where she actually recreated my own artwork and handmade a card!


The top part is the front of the card. The bottom part is what was on the back of the envelope. Isn’t that awesome?

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43 Replies to “This is all I’ve got for today”

  1. Absurdist

    That’s true. The rule of thumb, actually, is if you can’t put your dick in a toilet paper cardboard thingy, you’re good to go, since girth is much more important than length.

    And, actually, I have never met a guy (okay, slept with a guy) that had a dick longer than say, 6″, which really is sufficient.

  2. hellohahanarf

    go, sybil law! great work. poor avi got nuttin from me. yet!

    (p.s. to britt…it depends on whether i wanna walk the next day after one night or after the rest of my life. did that make sense?)

  3. Miss Britt

    a) Babies are smaller than Watermelons.

    b) Do you know how much STRETCHING has to be done for that to happen?!?!

    c) Do you know how fucking LONG it takes for all that stretching to happen?!?!

    d) Do you know that IT GOES BACK AFTERWARDS. Said stretching is not permanent.

    Thank you, Kegels.

  4. Amy

    You should totally frame that card. Put it on your desk that way you can feel as if you are being Happy Birthday’d every day of the week/year.

    I would totally do that if I had received a card like that… instead, I have a living, breathing, lavender plant that I have named Adam, because I love it.

  5. Miss Britt

    Well, yes, typically a baby is bigger than 12 inches.

    But your body is also… um… “open” differently in child birth. I don’t have to dilate my cervix to have sex! (Thank God)

    I’m not saying I’m a proponent of the ittsy bittsy teeny weanie… but good Lord! Isn’t it supposed to be COMFORTABLE?

  6. cat

    Hilarious and creative card… sure beats the hell out of mine… the one I’ve had since Wednesday but I’m such a tard that I didn’t get it in the mail ’til Saturday night! Yikes… anyway, it’s the thought that counts!!! Hope it was a wonderful birthday : )

  7. Avitable

    Amanda, I know. The fun only begins when the 16-year old naked chick shows up.

    BPR, it really was excellent.

    Jay, I know, right?

    Sarcastica, why are you so excited? There are none of my penis. Calm down.

    Dave, don’t you think I have a plan for that? I’ll just blame the dog.

    Dan, I’ll take anything underaged I can get.

    Mr. Fabulous, I see how it is. Won’t fuck my ass, but some little tramp comes up in here . . .

    TrishK, Fab wasn’t around.

    Britt, thanks for the favor, dogfucker.

    Karen, thanks! You can never say it enough times for me!

    Wayne, that was a cool insult. In 1942.

    Poppy, I didn’t draw that.

    Robin, it was very creative.

    Metalmom, she did an amazing job!

    Absurdist, that wasn’t my drawing.

    Hello, I’m sorry you missed all of the festivities all week long!

    Amy, does the cat pee on Adam?

    Preposterous, me too!

    Sybil, it was a perfect card. Thank you so much!

    Cat, that’s okay. Late is always better than never.

    Heather, that was a phrase I came up with a few months ago. It’s effective in many situations.

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