Now that the WGA strike may be ending, the influx of reruns, brainless reality shows, and movies of the week may start being replaced with new television shows. In the interest of making sure that the writers earn their newly negotiated increases, here is an open letter to those who run and write my favorite shows:
Dear writers of Pushing Daisies,
You guys are awesome! The show is perfect as it is – don’t change a thing. Well, if you could make every episode two hours instead of one, that would be appreciated.
Dear writers of 30 Rock,
Give Pete some more screen time. He’s a great foil for Liz. And Liz needs to fight jerks and injustice more. That’s her main character trait. Remember how she bought the entire hot dog stand’s supply because of the guy who tried to butt in line? Awww, memories.
Dear writers of The Office,
Please let Toby get laid. I feel so bad for him and all he wants is some loving. I would also like to see some more brilliant pranks pulled on Dwight, like when Jim made Dwight hit himself in the face with his phone. Also, I love Pam. You guys are awesome, though, and your version is so much better than the UK one.
Dear writers of Supernatural,
Don’t you think it would be cool if Dean and Sam got recruited by the FBI to run an X Files-type task force? Then they’d have plenty of resources and they’d know where to go and you wouldn’t have to come up with really cheesy ways for them to find out where they should go next. Other than that, this season has been pretty good. Nice job.
Dear writers of Law & Order,
Can’t we give Jack McCoy his old job back? Please??? And that female cop from last season was awesome – why did you have to get rid of her? I miss Lennie Brisco. I know you do too.
Dear writers of Heroes,
Please quit. Go back to your job at McDonald’s. Let someone else take over.
Dear writers of Chuck,
Okay, so Chuck’s got this computer in his brain that allows him to cross-reference millions of pieces of data and come up with connections that nobody else can, right? So why can’t all of this knowledge come with a little practical skill application? I’d like to see Chuck get some bad-ass ninja skills programmed into his head. Then he can stop being quite so whiny. Oh, and Adam Baldwin’s Casey is his second best character after Jayne from Serenity.
Dear writers of Reaper,
Where is your show bible? Your show has no consistency and no structure. Rather than relying on Ray Wise’s moments of awesome hamminess and several bad gags, why not come up with something that feels like an actual show? I’d like to continue watching your show, but I’m on the fence.
Dear writers of Scrubs,
I hate you. Why are you making JD and Eliot and Carla and Turk and Cox and Bob and Janitor leave me? Please don’t leave me. I’ll do anything!
Love and kisses and hugs and tears,