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I need help from a Wikipedia expert. Does anyone have editing capabilities on Wikipedia? How does it work? I usually stay away from it because I think people rely on it too much, almost as an encyclopedic resource. When it comes to information about entertainment or current events, it can be a good source of information, but I hate when people use it for legal or medical advice or even for historical research purposes.

Unfortunately, though, I now need to learn about Wikipedia. You see, there’s an entry about my ancestor, Paolo di Avitabile, who was the actual inspiration for the bogeyman in Pakistan. Even to this day, parents tell their children to behave or “Abu Tabela” will come and get them.

I think it would be awesome if part of the entry for my ancestor discussed current descendants. Would anyone know how to edit it to add something like the following:

“Avitabile’s family is spread throughout Naples and the United States, where his name was changed to “Avitable” by lazy registrars at Ellis Island. One well-known descendant is Adam Heath Avitable, who maintains a blog online at”

I’d really like to do this – if someone can help me figure it out, that would help. If they could just do it for me, that would be even better! You’d be my number one bestest friend.

You can email me at my first name at my last name dot com if you have any advice or suggestions or if you want me to verbally masturbate you for helping out.

The rest of today’s post discusses the contest and is in an extended entry.

Okay, now on to the contest. The results are in with regards to my first Lazy Sunday contest: almost everyone is lazy, stupid, or both!

Was it too hard? Were the references too subtle? Should I have just made it so that if you could spell your name without drooling, you were entered? Let me know, so I can come up with a better approach for next week that might elicit a few more responses. How hard should I make you work to win a prize like an iPod Shuffle or something similar? Please let me know your feedback.

Here are the actual references:

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
I think the combination of rat tail, raccoon feet, pigeon head, and boot tongue is lip-smackingly delicious.

This is a reference to the Simpsons. Specifically, Episode #3F03: “Lisa the Vegetarian”. Those are the ingredients that Lisa imagines make up a hot dog.

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
A Weight Gain 4000 shake. I’m trying to bulk up.

This is a reference to the same-titled episode “Weight Gain 4000”, which was South Park’s second episode in its first and infinitely superior season.

25. Name three people who will complete this?
Larry, Curly, and Moe

This was the easy one. The Three Stooges.

32. What songs do you sing in the shower?
I only take baths, and I like to make my shampoo and conditioner bottles fight for superiority.

This alludes to Billy Madison, where Adam Sandler’s titular character sits in the tub and makes his shampoo and conditioner bottles fight. “Shampoo is better! No, conditionah is bettah!”

35. What’s in your pocket right now?
A half a pack of cigarette, a tank of gas, and my sunglasses.

This was another easy one for you. One of the most recognizable quotes from The Blues Brothers.

38. Worst injury you’ve ever had?
Caught a bazooka round at Little Big Horn. Or was it Okinawa? The one without the Indians. My eyes are ceramic now.

This is a line by Lloyd Bridges’s Admiral Benson in Hot Shots.

48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
I want people to sing “I Say a Little Prayer” in unison.

Finally, this is the best-known scene from My Best Friend’s Wedding.

And for the wrong guesses:

The heroin balloon line was a general reference but didn’t pertain to any specific movie or TV show. The obvious ones, where I mentioned Oz, Roxanne, and Dora, weren’t references. Those were actual mentions! See how that works?

I’ve only been subjected to Van Wilder once, so I had no idea that was even a reference. I was actually being honest about our satin sheets. I’m a fan of the new Doctor Who, but I had no recollection of mauve being the color of danger, so that was accidental, as was the 1-800-CALL-TUR(K) Scrubs reference. The place in France where the naked ladies dance is much older than Moulin Rouge and was just a funny sing-song type thing that I’ve known since childhood.

“Ooh, shiny” in #15 is more of a reference to ADD than an allusion to shows where that has been said, like The Simpsons and Family Guy. Good guess, though.

The only person to successfully guess all 7 was M from Congratulations – email me to confirm so I can send you your prize!

Next week I’ll tweak the contest based on your feedback, so stay tuned!

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56 Replies to “Avikipedia”

  1. Sybil Law

    I got nothin’ for the Wikipedia – sorry! However, I find it highly amusing that: Even to this day, parents tell their children to behave or “Abu Tabela” will come and get them.
    Good luck!
    Damit and now I see the answers and I just submitted mine! Oh well – I’ll see if I got any right!

  2. Sybil Law

    Frickin’ fracking SHIT! I knew that one was the Simpson’s!!! It’s one of my favorites! ARRGGHHHH!
    But honestly I thought the 3 Stooges one was way too easy, so I considered it like the other ones that weren’t references!
    But I got the others right. :crying:

  3. Kirsten

    On Wikipedia, you can get someone to edit it, but without some published proof that you are a descendant, it won’t stay up long. If you can sucker someone into editing it for you (vandals can lose editing privileges), go whole hog and write a whole paragraph – just make sure they get a screen shot so you can frame it for posterity.

  4. Jay

    Wikipedia isn’t nearly as much fun since they tightened all the editing rules.

    Maybe you can get your own Wikipedia page and then use that as proof? haha

    I only knew a couple of those. I guess I could have copied and pasted them all into google and tried to find the answers. Quite a bit of effort when I’m all hung over and shit though. Of course now that you mention it, an iPod shuffle would have been worth that. Oh well.

  5. bobgirrl

    I (or anyone) can edit wikipedia, but here’s the #1 rule: “The threshold for inclusion in Wikipedia is verifiability, not truth. “Verifiable” in this context means that readers should be able to check that material added to Wikipedia has already been published by a reliable source. Editors should provide a reliable source for quotations and for any material that is challenged or is likely to be challenged, or it may be removed.”

    If you have verifiable proof, I’d be more than happy to edit it for you.

  6. Girl, Dislocated

    The only reference that didn’t go over my head was the reference to The Three Stooges. I didn’t get any of the others. Not even after I read the answers. :dunce:

    I know of someone in NJ with the last name Avitabile. Is it a common name?

  7. Mike

    Edit Wikipedia?

    “Avitabile’s family is spread throughout Naples (citation needed) and the United States (citation needed), where his name was changed to “Avitable” (citation needed) by lazy registrars (opinion) at Ellis Island (citation needed). One well-known (arguable) descendant is Adam Heath Avitable, who maintains a blog (doesn’t everybody?) online at”



  8. Cap

    “This alludes to Billy Madison, where Adam Sandler’s titular character sits in the tub…”

    I can’t believe you worked so hard just to use “titular” in a sentence. You’re amazing. :clap:

  9. HoosierGirl

    I’m terrible at movie quotes. I know I’ve heard them, but I can hardly ever remember from where, unless it’s “Blazing Saddles”. I always get those! I DID know the Blues Brothers and “My Best Friend’s Wedding”. :thumbsup:

    Anyway, it was a fun contest.

  10. MsFreud

    Your ancestor was THE boogie man? That Rocks!
    That sick bastard has been living in my closet scaring the shit out of me for decades!
    All my family history has is some farmers, and a Cathedral in Canada.

  11. RW

    Not liking wiki because it’s relied on too much is sort of like saying you’d take an aspirin for that headache but, shit, everybody does THAT! Where it goes wrong is when it gets dumped on by people who are trying to skew a subject but they’re getting better at guarding against that as time goes by.

    And, of course, once you’re on it it’ll be a good thing, so…


  12. m

    I’ surprised no one repeated the Simpson’s reference after I mentioned it in my first comment, but everyone jumped on that Moulin Rouge one.

    I’m still waiting for Adam H. Avitable to get his own entry, that redirects from Gorilla (disambiguation).

  13. Clown

    You forgot to mention that I was prohibited from participating and messaged you the correct answers BEFORE m. I would have had named the right wedding movie had I not typed it in a “I don’t care” rush. I should at least get a hug… Or a handjob. Or something similar.

    Also. Now I understand why my son wakes up almost nightly crying about the Avitableman. I thought he was saving Habitable man and just wrote it off as him being an idiot kid.

  14. Avitable

    Amanda, yes, that’s true. Such a great show.

    Sybil, I’m happy to have such an ancestor. And you did get the others right.

    Kirsten, yeah, that’s what I’m worried about. I want there to be some type of permanence. Any suggestions for documenting it more?

    Kyra, no, you have your hand on MY penis.

    Jay, I do want to get my own Wikipedia page at some point. I have to work on that. I would think that you’d be on top of all of those references for some reason. You seem like the type of guy to be able to quote Simpsons.

    Bobgirrl, well, it’s verifiable that I exist, so the only issue is whether he and I are actually related?

    Beth, clearly you do! You are now my #1 Bestest Friend!

    Girl, Dislocated, most of my relatives came over and spread out through New York, New Jersey, and Massachusetts. Any suggestions for making the contest better?

    Turnbaby, I’d rather have someone who’s done it before mess with it. And I finally got my Gravatar working.

    Mike, I’m working on making it verifiable.

    Mr. Fabulous, you must be using a different email address than you have with Gravatar. It’s case sensitive, too.

    Cap, I can use titmouse and repetitive in sentences too!

    NYCWD, yeah, but if you have any suggestions for making it more verifiable by linking to sources, let me know.

    HG, any suggestions for making it easier?

    Bec, ooh, that’s a good idea! Let’s do that. I guess I need to register it as a church first.

    MsFreud, well, he’s only the bogeyman in Pakistan.

    Kapgar, nope. It’s in our blood.

    Robin, I don’t know what Mr. Hands is.

    Absurdist, okay, that’s a good idea.

    CMG, send me a picture of you dressed as Leia in the gold bikini first.

    RW, that’s a poor analogy. Wikipedia has a lot of usefulness, but it’s not an encyclopedia and shouldn’t be considered as such.

    M, that would be a good way of doing it, too.

    Poppy, you didn’t even enter the contest, so no.

    Mom, usually I’m actually hiding in their closets.

    BPR, yeah, I know.

    TMP, you mean those sores are normal?

    Britt, I wasn’t being a dick when I posted the contest, fucker.

    Clown, yes, you did get almost all of them. Do you want an iPod shuffle?

  15. Amy

    This explains why Maggie came running into my room at 3am screaming, “Ahmooo!!!! Ahmooo!!!!!”

    Oh, let’s be honest, you wouldn’t hide in Maggie’s closet. You’d be too afraid she’d find you and decide to “play” with you.

    I don’t think you’d like the way she plays… the cat usually just pretends she’s dead.

  16. Clown

    Ha, no. I just wanted recognition for being awesome.
    I think it’s best I’m not allowed to enter.

    What I really want is Mario Kart for the Wii to come out in the US right now. Can you make that happen?

  17. Nina

    Honey, I will ask my Pakistani-Hindu girlfriend whether she knows about the terrorist you reference. Meantimes, you should ask your parents. Oh, and I live super – close to Ellis Island, if you are serious. Just saying.

  18. BlondeBlogger

    Damn that I did not win that Ipod!!!! UGH!!!! Do you know that I actually thought about it non-stop ever since I entered your contest? lol And then….to top off losing, our heat broke yesterday and we had to pay $380 to fix it. Do you know how many Ipods that would get me? I am so cursed!!!!

    You totally need to do a blonde-friendly contest next time so I have a fair shot of winning. Make it all about celebrities or designer handbags and I will totally kick ass. :thumbsup:

    I don’t know jack about editing Wiki, but I would LOVE to see that in the entry…hahahaha! Keeping my fingers crossed that you get it in there (the entry I mean *grin*)

  19. L

    Im no good at remembering film quotes or references so making it easier wouldn’t help me anywho.

    An after seeing you dance if Wikipedia want proof your a decendant of the boogeyman send them the youtube video

  20. Dan

    I once vandalized wikipeadia for my own amusement (yeah i’m infantile) my efforts stayed up there about an hour and it was both rather subtle and also on what i thought to be a rather obscure page.

  21. Avitable

    Poppy, you did have a good excuse. And I think you would have been able to guess quite a few otherwise.

    RW, smartass.

    Amy, I think I’ll tap Maggie to be my replacement bogeyman once I retire.

    Clown, I’m working on it!

    TMP, yeah, those heads are worthless.

    Sarah is OK, want me to scare your kids into doing anything for you?

    Nina, definitely ask her about Abu Tabela.

    BlondeBlogger, I will have a more blonde-friendly contest next time. I promise.

    L, that’s a very good point.

    Dan, well, my edits have been there for over 12 hours now. I guess we’ll see.

  22. Girl, Dislocated

    I didn’t make any suggestions in my first comment because I’m pretty much a lost cause when it comes to this stuff, so anything I contribute will be of limited value. BUT, since you insist, I suggest you give me a prize just for attempting to follow along, and/or consider including musical references. Maybe references to popular songs will be a little easier to spot?

  23. Janelle

    My idea for your next contest…make it all references to “Facing the Giants” Oh I kid, I kid….but maybe one time you can do like all classic 80’s movies, just a thought. And yes, more blonde friendly is a wondeful idea!!

  24. Avitable

    Preposterous, I’ll just have to make sure it’s a legitimate entry.

    Hello, I don’t know if that’s supposed to be a good thing, though.

    Girl, Dislocated, ok – musical references might be a good addition, too. Thanks.

    Blondeblogger, hopefully it will be “blonde” enough for you!

    Janelle, thanks for the ideas.

  25. Lynda

    I think if you create a Wikipedia account, you can edit the entries. It doesn’t appear to matter anymore though, cause your name and blog address is there. :lmao: I agree that people use it as an encyclopedia. However, it really is a database of collective knowledge and has the potential to be incorrect.

    As for the contest, I wouldn’t have gotten any of those answers right. I don’t watch TV anymore, and it has been a long time since I last saw a movie.

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