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Geek coming through.

I’m so massively erect right now.

“Why’s that, Adam?” you ask. (Or maybe “What is it this time, PervBoy?”)

It’s not because I finally got my Avril Lavigne manties to wear around the house. It’s not because I downloaded a video of 16-year old Catholic school girls going down on each other. It’s not because I’m watching myself naked on cam, although that always does it.

So what’s the reason? Well, as most of you know, I’m a huge comic geek. I’ve been collecting comics for about ten years, and I have around 30,000 comics, plus tons of statues, action figures, and other random memorabilia.

I was placing my monthly order yesterday, flipping through the Previews catalog, when I came across the erection-inspiring item. I ordered it immediately, and I will sit here, erection in hand, until it ships to me in October. I hope I don’t have any pressing plans over the next six months.

Are you ready to gaze upon the beauty and awesomeness?

Click me for a bigger image

It is a JLA trophy room replica set of Superman’s cape and belt. Ngggggggnnnn.

It has a secret pouch in the cape to hide your glasses! Ooooohhhhhh hominahomina.

The belt also has a secret pouch! Ngmmmmmmm fapfapfapfap.

It has a rack to hang it on, with a plaque that says Superman! Hooff Hff Hff Nggghhh Hff.


Well, at least now I don’t have to worry about the erection anymore.

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63 Replies to “Geek coming through.”

  1. Nanna

    OOOOOH. I want tone!

    So I guess your costume for this year’s Halloween party won’t be some cheap ass cheesey T-shirt you thought of at the last minute and only pulled it off because you are native born cool and funny?


  2. Avitable

    Karl, yeah, but her lasso makes people tell the truth, so then you’d have to be honest about your fetish for Vietnamese hermaphrodites.

    Amanda, I’m not going to wear it – it’s a collectible!

    Sybil, thanks for staying up just for me!

    Jay, maybe I should order two, so I have one that I can wear. The other has to remain untouched – it’s a collectible.

    Angie, how can you not get it? It’s Superman!

    BPR, heh – it won’t be that easy.

    Golfwidow, I’m smoking, too, but it’s only because of the friction.

    Hilly, I bet you watch Smallville, too, don’t you?

    DebbieS, it’s Superman’s, which means it’s invulnerable.

    Zanthera, there will be no abusing of my cape during Halloween.

    DaisyJo, they don’t make a leotard in “Ginormous”.

    Britt, you’re not getting your fucking hands on it.

    Sandi, the erection, right?

    Mike, yeah, the page I scanned was the “before” version.

    NYCWD, I’m sure that will be coming soon, too.

    Dawn, would that be “scarred” or “scared”? Because both apply.

    Fabulous, Green Lantern is pretty awesome. I almost ordered a lifesize lantern replica, too.

    Poppy, no, I’m 13.

    Melanie, of course I do. I measured it and everything.

    Nanna, cheap ass? Cheesy? That costume was genius and handcrafted!

    The Better Miss Ann Thrope, it’s a common guy phrase.

    Robin, no, my glasses when I change into Superman. My balls will fit in my blue leotard.

    Turnbaby, what does this have to do with ball size? This will make balls grow into balls of steel!

  3. Avitable

    TrishK, oh, you dream of it every night. Who are you kidding?

    Fig, I don’t plan on wearing it at all, actually!

    CB, why does everyone think I’d wear this collectible?

    RW, :finger:

    Claudia, the tights will hold the erection in.

    Tracy, Superman’s awesome – don’t be dissing the Kryptonian.

    Kay, of course – I buy all my bulk sex toys there.

    Christie, yes it is!

  4. B.E. Earl

    I give you kudos for the comic-book geekiness. I’m a comic-book geek myself.

    But dude…not Superman! He’s awful! I just can’t wrap my head around how much I hate Superman and all he stands for. :loser:

    I wouldn’t mind a powered down Supes…like he was originally intended to be, but the invincible (except for Kryptonite) Supes is just plain boring.

    Give me Batman any day of the week and twice on Sundays.

  5. Avitable

    DB, I think you’d be more disappointed if you actually got the pic!

    FreelanceGuru, cheeseburger and all?

    BE Earl, when he’s written correctly, Superman is much better than any other hero out there. Try Kingdom Come. Or Byrne’s relaunch. Amazing stuff. I’m a Batman fan, too, but he’s no Superman.

    VE, why would Superman carry Kryptonite with him? It would kill him!

    Hello, now that would be a sweaty tangled mess, wouldn’t it?!

    Kylah, you should be – it will be awesome!

  6. B.E. Earl

    Byrne’s relaunch was the closest thing to decent Superman that I have seen, but that didn’t even do it for me.

    Ah…I’ve got John Byrne issues too. We had a little spat in the letters pages of the Comic Buyer’s Guide about 15 years ago. I haven’t gotten over it.

  7. Avitable

    BE Earl, well, Byrne’s a total asshole, and his work has deteriorated significantly, so I can understand that. Have you tried the new All-Star Superman by Morrison and Quitely? It’s outstanding. And once again, Kingdom Come is a great example of an excellent story.

  8. B.E. Earl

    Kingdom Come was great. I’m a big Alex Ross fan. But I didn’t see that as a traditional Superman comic-book. More akin to Ross’ Marvels or Moore’s Watchmen…the story that Ross envisioned “Kingdom Come” becoming in one way or another.

    I dig Morrison. His runs on Animal Man and Doom Patrol are some of my very favorite comic-books. I haven’t been reading much lately. My comic-book collecting/reading reached its peak in the late 80’s/early 90’s and it has diminished to a trickle since 96 or 97. Sigh.

  9. Avitable

    BE, I see Kingdom Come as a definitive Superman story – it’s all about his abandonment of society and the chaos that results. Morrison is excellent, and he wrote a great Superman in his JLA run, which was spectacular. But his recent All Star Superman series has been completely outstanding.

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