My Davewear finally came! I ordered it years and years ago and have been dreaming about it ever since. It is the coolest, most awesome stuff ever, and if you didn’t order some, you should be sooo jealous.


I got four decks of cards:

I got my awesome black “Try Evil” hat:

I got my awesome white “Do Not Push This Button” t-shirt:

And from now on, I’m not wearing anything BUT my kick-ass new stuff! Thanks, Dave!


Thanks to those of you who listened to Britt and I debate the death penalty. If you missed it, you can download it (and should download it) here, or find it as a podcast through iTunes here, or just listen using the widget in my sidebar. It was quite an hour – can you guess which one of us was pro-death penalty and who was anti? shows its balls too.

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125 Replies to “OMGLOLWOOT!!”

  1. penny

    Thanks! I’ve been falling asleep the past 3 hours, just waiting to finish my work so I can get some sleep. I’m awake now.

    I’m not sure which was better/worse – seeing half the pic at a time as I was scrolling down, or seeing the whole thing when I scrolled back up to make sure of what I was seeing.

    You rock!

  2. Lucy

    I loved the Britt comment “oh yeah, blah, blah, blah”.

    Holy fucking shit. Fair and just and balanced? A law made by someone that is blood thristy and in grief? How about someone who is “closed minded, democrat and an ass”.

    My BEST FRIEND, my soul mate, my TWIN, was RAPED, SODIMIZED AND MURDERED in Oklahoma (her name was Elaine Marie Scott and her murder’s name is Alfred Brian Scott if you must check). I have to agree with Adam. If you are proved within a shadow of a doubt that you TOOK A HUMAN LIFE, you should die.


    The day that this person is sentenced to DIE, DIE, DIE, is the motherfucking day I dance in the goddamn streets nakkked.


    Society as whole? Seriously? Society as a whole is so much better. KILL THIS FUCKER. He raped a 12 year old girl before he raped and murdered my best friend when she was 21.

    I am beyond words at this whole discussion, which is based in a huge part (Britt’s part) on ignorance.

    So my question is this….if it were YOUR best friend, or your sister, would your opinion change??

    I am not for the death penalty on a broad spectrum, but where there is SOOOOO much PHYSCIAL evidence as well as a CONFESSION to the taking a human life, should that person live????

  3. just beth

    holyjeezuslord. ARE THOSE YOUR BALLS??? please don’t take offense, however…. AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAA! that is some FUNNY ASS SHIT! YAY!!!

    I love balls! and penis’s (jeezus, too many beers. how does one pluralize penis? peni??? ahahahahahaaaa!!)



  4. whall

    I think you should come out with a new line of weight watchers products, but instead of selling food, you can provide a weekly photo of you in nothing but Dave Attire to your subscribers.

    A premium membership (hehheh, I said “member”) grants personal delivery of said photo, thus assuring results.

  5. Jenni

    I sure hope the next Davewear item being introduced is a pair of shorts. OH. MAH. GAWD. And to think this is the first blog in my reader this morning, almost makes me want to stop reading for the day.

    My eyes. They burn.

  6. Avitable

    Britt, you’re totally getting teabagged while you’re laying there.

    Amanda, you mean “Thank you Jesus”, right?

    Undomestic Diva, I know – it’s a great shirt!

    Fantasy Writer, my fluffer was dead on the floor – didn’t you see?

    Sizzle, hopefully you dreamed about that last night.

    LMSS, junk is such a negative term.

    Hello, am I the wind beneath your wings?

    Sybil, it’s tile.

    Karl, it’s sturdy and comfortable, too!

    Tracy, you own stock in the brain bleach company now.

    Shiny, Sony Cybershot. It’s ooollllld.

    Hilly, I wouldn’t quite call it style, per se.

    Sheila, shh.

    Jay, I appreciate your honesty, and now I have a bit of a semi.

    NYCWD, that’s better than throwing up in someone else’s mouth!

    Karen, isn’t she nice?

    Dave, I can’t wait!

    Sheila, hopefully it will be thong underwear.

    Foo, I know, right?

    BE Earl, blame? You mean cheer loudly, right?

    TSM, I did stuff like this before Karl. Go to my sidebar and click on “Letter to My Body” in my Popular Posts section.

    Melanie, were you eating meatballs?

    Sarah, they’re really cool – I’m sure he’ll sell them again next year.

    Penny, at least it wasn’t in high resolution!

    Lucy, let’s be fair. When she said “Oh yeah, blah, blah, blah”, she was saying that she knew the whole argument of “What if it was someone who was close to you.” She wasn’t saying that wasn’t a big deal, and in fact she said that she would want to kill the person who did it. I can’t call her ignorant for being against the death penalty even if I agree with you and think that someone like that deserves to die. Why didn’t you call in????

    Cyndi, oh, there’s a nutsack?

    Just Beth, penii. Oh, and go to and create an account.

    Dee, yeah, I thought that was a nice touch.

    Selma, the hat is that cool, isn’t it?

    Martin, I think you may be looking way too closely.

    Greeneyezz, it seems to fit perfectly.

    Jennifer, not after I cut myself.

    Turnbaby, shit! I wish I hadn’t posted this on Thursday. Fucking osbasso creeps me out – the whole concept does.

    Todd, no, the asshole’s on the other side.

    Kapgar, anytime!

    SciFi Dad, well, we have the one with the fancy smelling soap that I like and one with the normal blah soap my wife likes.

    Whall, that’s genius!

    Cissa, yeah, unfortunately.

    Crystal, it usually does.

    Robin, what? Didn’t you like my shirt?

    Krystle, I’m glad. That’s what I live for!

    Grant, you mean it wouldn’t be okay to see at work?

    Jen, it’s probably saved as your wallpaper now, isn’t it?

    Metalmom, you are sooo clevah.

    Jenni, stop reading so you can go masturbate? I understand.

    Finn, anyone who faints is totally getting teabagged.

  7. Em

    Wow… you have some balls don’t ya?

    I didn’t listen to the Death penalty talk yet but should it be obvious which of you is for and which is against? It doesn’t seem obvious to me. I’m thinking you are against and she is for… I shall listen and find out!

  8. Avitable

    DB, sweetie, how do you not know that my blog should always be considered NSFW? πŸ˜€

    Elfenkate, who needs coffee after ball pictures?

    Em, hope you enjoy the show!

    Finn, what are you trying to say, hmm?

    Jen, the bottom half of my nutsack?

    John, royal flush.

    Ajooja, balls to the wall comedy!

  9. fiwa

    I think I got as much amusement out of reading the comments as I did out of the picture. Um, not that the picture was funny or anything. Art… that’s what it is. :thumbsup:

  10. Lori

    Wow, I think this is my first time commenting! Um, WOW! I can’t even get Britt’s site to load on my work computer bc it says it’s “tasteless”, but this came up just fine. Hmmmm.

  11. Avitable

    Father Bob, do you inject saline into them?

    HG, shouldn’t you come to expect this from me?

    Shash, I’ll definitely try!

    Maman, unlikely, but you never know!

    Gemini, or at least a kilt.

    Liquid, I’m wearing a hat.

    Atomic, why would you laugh at Dave’s cool T-shirt?

    Sybil, great. Now he’ll never let you come visit.

    Dragon, that’s my secret.

    Kris, eyes not focusing might be the best possible scenario, though.

    Maria, you’re all sorts of turned on now, aren’t you?

    LMSS, I love that!

    PaintingChef, are you ever truly prepared for a driveby nutshot?

    Mik, didn’t consider in the slightest!

    Nina, define “lucky”.

    Blondefabulous, I don’t believe in manscaping.

    Fiwa, I’m okay with funny art.

    Jeff, this was post-coitus t-shirttus.

    Crystal, you forgot the exclamation point.

    Morning Gruel, “cash and prizes”, not junk. It’s the new phrase.

    BTDT, no gray hair! NONE!

  12. Avitable

    Turnbaby, this is my own invention. Fully Naked Anyday.

    Sheila, I’ve tried one on. They’re not comfortable!

    LMSS, now you had to go and ruin it. I’ll have to ban that phrase from my memory. Dane Cook is a blight on society.

  13. hello haha narf

    cmgd just cracked me the fuck up!
    i thought “Holy Mary and mayonnaise packets” was the greatest thing i had heard in a long time, then she finishes up with “FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS RON JEREMY!”

    my sides hurt from laughing.

    and i am so stealing the ron jeremy comment. i vow that i will use it three times before leaving here today and another seven tomorrow alone. bring on the weekend!

  14. Avitable

    Sassy, just don’t confuse it with a snack attack and we’ll be okay.

    LMSS, yelling things and repeating them over and over again doesn’t make them funny. I wish he would die.

    Heather, wanna come wax them for me?

    Hello, that is a great line. I’m stealing it too.

    Radioactivegirl, you should re-do it.

    Bec, the male wrinkly, hairy form.

    Mindy, nah, you must be seeing things.

  15. Hoosier Girl

    You know…you are so right. I should have come to expect this kind of thing from you by now. My older kids would really think my internet friends are weird if they saw this. :sex023:

    You are truly amazing…in more ways than one.


  16. Poppy

    Infamous orange bathroom. hehehehehehe

    Last night Dawg told me this post was something I should avoid so since last night I’ve been thinking today’s post was about body modification or animal mutilation. Then just now he explained to me what your post was about. Shoulda known it was just you taking naked pictures of yourself.

    Our stuff is on the way! Wheeeeee!

  17. Avitable

    Dave, all in a Dave’s work.

    HG, until they met me. Then, they’d KNOW I was weird.

    Becky, I’m good at that.

    Poppy, he thought THIS would upset you? I knew you’d just laugh.

    Stacey, really? Because on this blog, I think it’s pretty much expected. πŸ˜€

  18. Janna


    I was all set to offer some sweet comment about how I loved the playing cards, and…

    Please pardon me for a moment; I think my brain’s still twitching.

  19. Avitable

    Stephanie, I can print it out and send you that photo as a poster if you want.

    Kimberly, well, it’s kind of like mayo, but not quite as sweet tasting.

    Janna, ha! I made Janna’s brain twitch!

    Brandon, have sweet dreams and let me dance, balls hanging free, through your subconscious.

  20. Jason

    The best thing about this post is all of the places this post will lead us. You know, you have to do more and more and get a lot more extreme to get the same shock value.

    Looking forward to seeing what you’ll do next!

  21. Avitable

    Stephanie, any time!

    Jason, I know. I’m kind of scared about where I can go from here.

    Evil Genius, I’m a boxer brief man myself. But I said I was only going to wear Dave’s stuff from now on!

  22. martymankins

    It takes balls to show a picture like that… oh… it REALLY did take balls… ok. Your safe.

    I got my Blogography goods this week, too. Love the shirt and nice that Dave included a couple extra deck of cards.

    I’m with Dave… make boxers available next year. I’ll buy two pair just for Adam to wear.

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