Clearly, You're Retarded was the radio show with Adam Avitable and Britt Reints

Who wants a Christmas card?

It’s that time of year, fuckers. I’m preparing my list of names and addresses for holiday cards.

Last year we sent out this one:

In 2006 we sent out this one:

If you got one or all of these, chances are I already have you in my address book, and you’ll be getting a new card or letter this year. However, if you’ve moved or just want to make sure that you’re included, just follow these simple instructions to make sure you’re on this year’s mailing list. Please follow the instructions exactly as it makes it much easier for me:

Email me. My email address is my first name at my last name dot com. My name is Adam Avitable.

The subject line of the email must be “Christmas Cards 2008”.

In the email please put your name and address in this format:

First Name Last Name
Street Address
Address Line 2 (if any)
City, State Zip
Country (if not USA)

That way, when I put it in a spreadsheet, it’s much easier to parse the data.

This year’s card may be offensive. It may be horrifying. It may be horribly boring. It may be late. I have no idea because I haven’t even thought about it yet!

In other Avita-news:

Tonight is a brand new installment of “Clearly, You’re Retarded”!

Should kids be allowed out of the house before they’re 18? What places are acceptable to bring small children? When should parents just leave their brats at home? Since my preference is that kids should just stay locked in a closet until they’re old enough to drive, we have a lot to talk about!

Britt and I are going to discuss when parents should leave their kids home from 9 PM to 10 PM EST on Talkshoe. You can listen live online at, or download the Talkshoe application and you can chat and even call in!

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38 Replies to “Who wants a Christmas card?”

  1. Hilly

    Are you all going to talk about perhaps places that perhaps only allow adults? If not, can we make that a topic for a future show. Oh and by “only allow adults”, I don’t mean strip clubs and such…I mean restaurants or theaters that have a “no kid” policy. I think that would be a good topic!

    I know you have my address but I will hit ya up anyway!

  2. Janelle

    Well, you should have my address from last year, but just in case you don’t… I’m emailing it to you again. ๐Ÿ™‚ Can’t wait to get it!! Yay for Adam’s Christmas Cards! The highlight of my Christmas Season. Well that and the eggnog I have to drink dealing with my family being in one room for one evening.
    There is a reason we only do that once a year… I wouldn’t have liver if we did this kind of thing often!

  3. Blondefabulous

    When I went to Vegas to get married, (No, not in a drive thru!!!) I saw parents in the casinos with their kids. WITH THEIR KIDS!!!!! WTF is that shit??? The parents were at the slot machines and the kids were running wild as shit in the gift shop across the walk way that separated it from the casino floor. Yeah, sometimes parents can make bad decisions.

  4. metalmom

    I’m sure you have my address. And I don’t mind an offensive holiday card….as long it doesn’t involve Santa doing something unspeakable to a child sitting on his lap.

    Shit. That’s exactly what you’re going to do NOW isn’t it? :xmas3:

  5. Avitable

    Sybil, you missed the show!

    Hilly, thanks, Hilly Sue.

    Janelle, eggnog isn’t alcoholic by itself, you know.

    Mik, thanks!

    Redneck Mommy, I’m still waiting for your opinion on today’s post.

    Wayne, but I promise I won’t use it for any nefarious purposes.

    FWG, kiss my blarney stone.

    Dickie Maxx, but that’s not your real name!

    Blondefabulous, that’s why parents should need licenses to have kids.

    Poppy, I will imagine what question you are saying Okay to and you will be bound by that.

    SciFi Dad, there will be no butt on it.

    Grant, a hentai holiday?

    Britt, that’s the nice thing about a blog – I’m talking to all of my friends here all at once. Jeez, join the future already.

    Amanda, how else would I be standing outside your window at night?

    Faiqa, you would!

    Marty, thank you for following the simple instructions. Most people seem unable to do so.

    Metalmom, ooh, thanks for the idea!

    Sheila, totally worthy.

    Elizabeth, do I get one?

    Giggle Pixie, thanks!

    jGrrl, hi, Jean. Nice to see you.

    Jay, I think if there are kids in a nice restaurant, they are fair game for being cooked and eaten.

    Hello, sorry you weren’t able to log on last night.

    Finn, now I have to meet high expectations!

    Tug, no, I still have yours somewhere.

    NYCWD, but why??? I like real names better.

    TrishK, don’t worry, your work is safe.

    Jeremy, me either. Now I just need an idea.

    Michelle, don’t worry – you have all of those tats, remember?!

    Sarah, now I can come visit!

  6. jess; [the bottle chronicles]

    I’d feel silly asking for a xmas card, cause I’ll probably be too broke to buy stamps this year! Apparently I have to play Santa AND buy presents on top of that? Who wrote these Christmas laws?

    But if I send you a Christmas e-card, would that make it even? haha! your xmas cards always crack me up!

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