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Avitaweek 2009: The origins of Avitable

In yesterday’s mail, I received a package from my Papa (aka my grandfather) that showed exactly where I come from. My sense of humor, my sarcasm, my overall outlook on life – I have him to thank.

Here are the three pages that made up the package I received:

He's kept this newspaper clipping for 22 years.
He's kept this newspaper clipping for 22 years.
Could I look any more androgynous at age 10?
Could I look any more androgynous at age 10?
To be fair, they were used in elaborate war scenarios along with my Transformers.
To be fair, they were used in elaborate war scenarios along with my Transformers.

Thanks, Papa!

As you might be aware, I have a birthday coming up. What? You didn’t now? I haven’t mentioned it enough? Well, it’s true. You can buy my love here or here!

However, today’s not all about me. It’s also the birthday of two of my favorite women who live in the computer. The first one is Tracy Kaply. She’s turning 104 today, so go wish her a happy birthday. The other is Nina from Readerwritesmith. She’s recently abandoned her blog, so I don’t want to link to it, but I think she reads me when she’s naked and lonely, so use my comments to wish her a happy birthday, too.

This weekend, Amy and I will be going to stay the night in a haunted bed and breakfast that was featured on Ghost Hunters, so stay tuned for stories from that!

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33 Replies to “Avitaweek 2009: The origins of Avitable”

  1. SJ

    Turnbaby stole my comment! Add me to the list of readers who WON their spelling bee in 6th grade.

    You had a Cabbage Patch Kid! Awww. Did you make him anatomically correct by attaching a Play-Doh penis?

    CAN’T WAIT to read about your night at the haunted B&B!!! Major envy here.

    Happy birthday, Adam! Happy birthday, Tracy! Happy birthday, Nina!

  2. Cris

    I have never been, nor ever will be a good speller. I like to think that I am unique and creative in spelling skills and rarely ever use the same combination of letters for certain “special” words.

    About the weekend get-away. Doesn’t that poor woman have enough fears to conquer when going to bed with you, without being drug to a haunted hotel of death? Poor, poor Amy. All she has to put up with and now she is saddled with an older man. tisk tisk

  3. Avitable

    Grant, I know – that’s why men always asked me to sit on their laps.

    BE Earl, three years, actually. I was one of those early kids.

    Amanda, still do! Except they’re called action figures now.

    Clayton, I don’t remember what word at the county bee. I remember that the word “duly” got me at the state bee and that’s only because the judge was a fucking retard and said the word wrong. And yeah, Glover was a nice guy.

    Redneck Mommy, no, I was second place in the regional spelling bee. I won the school spelling bee and competed against all schools in the region, from grades 6-8. I was the youngest kid there, because I was only 10, and most 6th graders are 11.

    Tracy, you don’t look a day over 100.

    Just Beth, see my explanation above. “Papa” is actually my grandfather – I edited my post because I realized I didn’t explain that.

    Dave2, damn straight. Those dolls rocked!

    Turnbaby, so did I. This was a regional competition, not the school competition.

    Bridget, bowl cuts are always gross.

    Laurin, I was a child criminal.

    SJ, I won the spelling bee for my class and for my entire school. Then I went onto the regional bee, came in second place as the youngest contestant there, and went to the state district spelling bee, where I finally lost. Both you and Turnbaby need to learn how to read, I think.

    Cris, you definitely have an interesting way of speeling wurds.

    Metalmom, no, it’s the penis I’m compensating for.

  4. Finn

    A sense of humor is most certainly genetic. I think I’d like your grandfather.

    Love is on it’s way to you, only it will probably be late because I’m really not on top of things that don’t directly affect my life and I’m too cheap to get express delivery. But… :sexytime:

    Happy Birthday Nina, I miss you!

  5. NYCWD

    Dave2 is right. Those are Cabbage Patch dolls. Did Optimus Prime butt rape them? That would explain alot.

    More importantly… bring the video camera, the night vision goggles, and the OUIJA Board this weekend. I fully expect an episode of Haunting The Haunters from you on Monday.

    And tell Amy to go towards the light.

  6. whall

    I bet ewe thought he said “doobie”.

    Am I write? Did I nguyen something? Why our you humping that bukkit while holding the cab badge patch doll?

    Owe yeah, Happy birthday to whatsernamewithoutablog.

  7. Faiqa

    Happy Birthday Nina!
    ::lowers voice to a barely audible whisper:: Wow. You were actually a very beautiful little boy. (Not meant in a pedophile way, but in a mommy way).

    Now we all know the perils of excessive masturbation. You should do a PSA.

  8. Avitable

    Finn, everybody loves him. You sent me love?! Is it a plaster cast of your breasts?

    NYCWD, I will bring the video camera and night vision goggles.

    Jay, he was actually part robot.

    Whall, actually, he was Southern and said “du-ah-ly”.

    Daisy, we’re hoping that the atmosphere is indeed creepy and not cheesy.

    Faiqa, are you saying I’m not beautiful now?!

    Liquid, we did look alike, didn’t we?

    Turnbaby, I wrote the photo captions.

  9. Stephanie

    Srsly, what’s up with all the spelling champs? Me too…won the 6th grade bee. Weird, huh?

    I can’t wait to hear your recap of the weekend, when you come back, will you share which B&B you went to?

    Have fun!

  10. Sybil Law

    Damn you were cute! Oh of course you’re cute now, too.
    I, too, plan to send you a gift, but mine requires some outside assistance, which you’ll understand when you get it, in 2010. Well, hopefully before then!
    I won the school spelling bee in 5th grade, and wouldn’t even enter in 6th grade. Getting in front of everyone terrified me.
    I can’t wait to see your video of the haunted house! Please no close-ups of your snotty nose!

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