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Today is like Jesus’s birthday but more important, see?

crys_bsuit

Today is the hrmrmrth anniversary of Crystal‘s 21st birthday. In her honor, I wrote this poem. And by wrote, I mean stole from “So I Married an Axe Murderer” and changed the words:

Crystal.
Kerrr-iss-tal.
Cool cougar creating her canvas.
Beautiful, bedazzled, bipennate banter.
Un-ag…ing.
Un-usu…al.
Un-fett…ered?

“He wants you to dance,” he cried into
the webcam like a blogger who’s clinging
to his seat while wearing no pants…
except his boxer briefs with holes.

I need rhythm.
Dancing’s really hard.
This poem . . . sucks.

Have skirt, will dance off from Crys Anne on Vimeo.

Happy birthday, Crystal.

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16 Replies to “Today is like Jesus’s birthday but more important, see?”

  1. Poppy

    It looks stooopid without it. It is the one thing I have a hard time overlooking when people write it incorrectly. Chris’s mom, NOT Chris’ mom. Thank you for this chance to be a jackass. Ripley says hi!

  2. Avitable

    Hilly, rizzle dizzle fo shizzle.

    Sybil, oh, she’s no lady!

    Steph, she decided to Godiva it.

    Poppy, I’m always open to people being jackasses in my comments!

    Floating Princess, you’re just saying that because of the boobs, aren’t you?

    Tiffany, they are awesome.

    Crystal, happy birthday, friend.

    Turnbaby, why are you talking about Alcoholic Anonymous here? Are you trying to imply that Crystal drinks too much wine?

    Dr. Zibbs, ay, that she is.

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