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Avitable Love Fest: 20 Things I Want You To Hear

Thanks to Britt, I have a post for today. Leave it to the self-proclaimed beacon of “light and goodness” to take a meme that’s designed to bring out our passive-aggressive nature, wherein we can vent about people by saying mean, cynical and hateful things, and convert it into a huge old love-fest, passing on anonymous warm and fuzzies. It’s so sweet that it almost gave me diabetes (well that, and my IV of liquid chocolate cake).

And yet I’m stealing it for myself. Even I like to be nice to people sometimes. To spread a little love and kindness, free of sarcasm and cynical overtones. Plus, I’m tired so it’s hard to come up with something else to post. Without further ado:


1. Even with all of your faults, it was because of your example that I had the strength and courage to go through with the lap band surgery.

2. Reconnecting with you after all of these years has proven to be better than I can have imagined. Who knew we had so much in common and we could have been good friends all this time?

3. You’re good at what you do, even if I think that you’re otherwise a useless human being.

4. You deserve every ounce of the happiness towards which you’ve already made great strides.

5. You’ve been there unselfishly for me for more than two decades and I don’t know if you’re aware of how much I appreciate it.

6. Thank you for making me want to be a better person.

7. Your belief in my ability to succeed has always been unwavering. Thank you.

8. Sunshiny optimism usually annoys me, but you make it work.

9. You give me hope for the youth of America with your work ethic and obvious intelligence, even though you’re politically retarded.

10. I’m so glad you ended your old life and started your new life with your new love.

11. You’re too smart to be so blind and hateful.

12. My hours and hours of conversation with you and our friendship made me the person I am today, and I’m better as a result.

13. I love how you won’t lie to me, even if it might be hurtful.

14. Your innocence and outlook on life is refreshing, even if I try to corrupt it.

15. Both your laughing and your crying are infectious and make everything more enjoyable.

16. I’m so happy that you’ve started to stand up for yourself. It’s a great first step to your happiness.

17. I am so glad that we have become friends.

18. I wish I could do the things you can do.

19. I’m ecstatic that you’re happy after those years of heartbreak. You deserve every second of it.

20. I still think of our first date, 27 years ago.

Need a post idea? This is harder than it seems. Give it a shot, and stay tuned tomorrow when I return with my typical vitriolic perspective on life and the sheeple of the world.

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87 Replies to “Avitable Love Fest: 20 Things I Want You To Hear”

  1. Stone Fox

    i don’t know if it’s just me, but you never seem to be wearing clothes in pictures you hang on your posts. is that just a coincidence or do you avoid clothing based on principle? some kind of blatant anti-textilism?

  2. Faiqa

    I’m really upset by this.

    Nowhere on this list do I see, “Your superior intellect, charm and beauty have taken me to depths of humility that I did not know were possible. Thank you for making me a better person.”

    Whatever, I’m glad that we’ve become good friends, too.

  3. Miss Britt

    I love that I knew who almost all of these were about. Not because it makes me obviously *extra special* – but because, I don’t know, it must have come out in you sometime before now.

    And I really wish your mom, brother, sister and best male friends could read this and know you were talking about them.

    I think I will also have lots of fun torturing Clown with the fact that one of these was about him.

  4. Blaine

    Wondering if each of those was about a different person or if some have duplicate recipients?

    Will probably do my own, but I might email it to everyone it’s about, with their #. Maybe.

    Very awesome.

  5. Aunt Becky

    And I mean this with the utmost sincerity (which you will not believe because it is coming from me, but I digress): your blog makes the world a better place. Also, you have my telephone number now so that you can send me pictures of your boobs.

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