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Top Ten Movie Characters

Single Parent Dad wrote two posts detailing his top ten movie characters and, knowing that I need blog fodder constantly, tagged me to list my own. Without further ado (and in no particular order of preference):


Name: FERRIS BUELLER (played by Matthew Broderick)
Movie(s): Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
Strengths: Smarter than adults. Rules don’t apply. Hot girlfriend.
Weaknesses: Bad wardrobe. Sister who knows his secret.
Favorite Quote(s):

“The question isn’t “what are we going to do,” the question is “what aren’t we going to do?” ”

“I do have a test today, that wasn’t bullshit. It’s on European socialism. I mean, really, what’s the point? I’m not European. I don’t plan on being European. So who gives a crap if they’re socialists? They could be fascist anarchists, it still doesn’t change the fact that I don’t own a car. . . .Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. -Ism’s in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, “I don’t believe in Beatles, I just believe in me.” Good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus. I’d still have to bum rides off people.”


Name: MARTIN BLANK (played by John Cusack)
Movie(s): Grosse Pointe Blank
Strengths: Deadpan hitman. Sociopath with morals. Great with a pen.
Weaknesses: Too healthy. Wants to quit his job.
Favorite Quote(s):

“They all have husbands and wives and children and houses and dogs, and, you know, they’ve all made themselves a part of something and they can talk about what they do. What am I gonna say? “I killed the president of Paraguay with a fork. How’ve you been?””

“I was sitting there alone on prom night, in a goddamn rented tuxedo, and my whole life flashed before my eyes. And I realized finally, and for the first time, that I wanted to kill somebody. So I figured since I loved you so much, it’d be a good idea if I didn’t see you anymore . . .They’re right behind us. So I was in the Gulf last year, I was doing this thing anyway. And I came up over this dune, and I saw the ocean… and it was on fire. The whole thing, on fire, and it was beautiful. So I just sat there and watched it, and that’s when I realized there might be a meaning to life, you know, like an organic power that connects all living things, God, Yahweh, I dunno.”


Name: WEDNESDAY ADDAMS (played by Christina Ricci)
Movie(s): Addams Family and Addams Family Values
Strengths: Twisted and dark. Goth before it was cool. Emo without all the cutting and crying.
Weaknesses: Afraid of sunlight.
Favorite Quote(s):

“Your work is puerile and under-dramatized. You lack any sense of structure, character and the Aristotelian unities.”

“You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans, and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the road sides, you will play golf, and enjoy hot hors d’oeuvres. My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They have said, “Do not trust the Pilgrims, especially Sarah Miller.””

“I’m a homicidal maniac, they look just like everyone else.”


Name: TY WEBB (played by Chevy Chase)
Movie(s): Caddyshack I and II
Strengths: Rich eccentricity at its best. Master of zen. Great hats. Master of bon mots.
Weaknesses: Very irresponsible. Maybe too much money.
Favorite Quote(s):

“Don’t sell yourself short Judge, you’re a tremendous slouch.”

“A flute without holes, is not a flute. A donut without a hole, is a Danish.”

“You don’t have to go to college. This isn’t Russia. Is this Russia? This isn’t Russia.”


Name: SUPERMAN (played by Christopher Reeve)
Movie(s): Superman I, II, III, and IV
Strengths: Invincible. Super fast. Super strong. Wholesome.
Weaknesses: Suit is a little gay. Too susceptible to a green rock.
Favorite Quote(s):

“I’m here to fight for truth, and justice, and the American way.”

“I never lie.”


Name: LEELOO DALLAS (played by Milla Jovovich)
Movie(s): The Fifth Element
Strengths: Martial Artist. No shame. Gorgeous. Just needs love. Supreme being.
Weaknesses: Small language barrier. Might break if you put too much weight on her.
Favorite Quote(s):

“Big Badda Boom.”

“I do not know love. I was built to protect, not love.”


Name: JUNO MACGUFF (played by Ellen Page)
Movie(s): Juno
Strengths: Sarcastically brilliant. Knows what she wants. Excellent at outside furniture arrangement.
Weaknesses: You might not understand the words that are coming out of her mouth. The hamburger phone is so ’80s.
Favorite Quote(s):

“No, this is not a food baby all right? I’ve taken like three pregnancy tests, and I’m forshizz up the spout.”

“Wait… No! I mean, can’t we just, like, kick this old school? Like, I have the baby, put it in a basket and send it your way, like, Moses and the reeds?”

“Yea, you just take Soupy-Sales to prom I can think of so many cooler things to do that night. Like, you know what Bleek? I might pumice my feet, uh, I might go to Bren’s Unitarian Church, maybe get hit by a truck full of hot garbage juice, you know? Cause all those things, would be exponentially cooler than going to prom with you.”

“Hi, I’m calling to procure a hasty abortion…”


Name: RACHEL JANSEN (played by Mila Kunis)
Movie(s): Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Strengths: Strong and beautiful. Adventurous. Not afraid to take on Hollywood power celebs.
Weaknesses: Directionless. Thinks a man who stops a blowjob mid-blow is a bad person.
Favorite Quote(s):

“Yeah, you know, there’s so few personal shoppers and pet therapists. Gosh, it’s such a hard life.”

“I can see your vagina from here! I can see your hoohah!”


Name: MALLORY KNOX (played by Juliette Lewis)
Movie(s): Natural Born Killers
Strengths: Trashy in a good way. Great shot. Not afraid to claw her way to the top, or to the outside, whatever the case may be. Committed to her man. A romantic at heart.
Weaknesses: Daddy issues. Trashy in a bad way. Teensy bit volatile.
Favorite Quote(s):

“I do. ‘Til you and I die, and die, and die again. ‘Til death do us part.”

“You stupid bitch? You stupid bitch? You stupid bitch? Mickey, that’s what my father used to call me! I thought you’d be a little more creative than that!”

“That’s the worst fuckin’ head I ever got in my life! Next time don’t be so fuckin’ eager!”


Name: DANNY OCEAN (played by George Clooney)
Movie(s): Ocean’s Eleven, Twelve, & Thirteen
Strengths: Smooth, collected, and cool. Manipulative but charming. Always has a plan. Confidence man beyond reproach.
Weaknesses: Lets his emotions get in the way of the job. Cries when Oprah is on. He gets caught a lot.
Favorite Quote(s):

“Cause the house always wins. Play long enough, you never change the stakes. The house takes you. Unless, when that perfect hand comes along, you bet and you bet big, then you take the house.”

“It sure as shit ain’t sad.”

“You shook Sinatra’s hand. You should know better.”

Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox, Back to the Future I, II, III)
Leon (Jean Reno, The Professional)
Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory)
Betelgeuse (Michael Keaton, Beetlejuice)
Thomas Crown (Pierce Brosnan, Thomas Crown Affair)

Today’s obnoxious Halloween reminder is to let you know that almost half of the tickets for the party have been bought! If you are planning on coming to the party and can’t buy your tickets right now, please email me at adam at avitable dot com and I’ll hold one for you. If you can afford it right now, don’t wait any longer. Go buy your tickets before they’re sold out!

Oh, and I still need vacation photos. I need 15 more people to submit a photo of them with or without their family in front of anything – just the basic type of photo that you would take during a vacation. Go here to submit one today and participate in the party, even if you can’t make it!

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87 Replies to “Top Ten Movie Characters”

  1. Loukia

    Yes! LOVED this and of course, I will steal this idea for my blog, but I shouldn’t have even told you that, as you’ll NEVER visit my blog, since I’m a loser and still on blogger. πŸ˜‰ But it would be nice for you to stop by and say hi, you know. Just saying…

    Okay, yes, love Ferris! And yes to Danny Ocean, OMG, YES!!! Um, where were we…

    What about Johnny Depp in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? Or Brad Pitt in Fight Club and/or Snatch? And Uma in Kill Bill?

  2. Howard

    Ok, wow, what a great list IMO. And I can’t tell you how much love you now received from me for being a fan of Wednesday and Adam Family Values which I think is a criminally under appreciated comedy. “All of that I can forgive. But, Debbie… pastels?” Kills me every time. I’ve threatened to do Joan Cusak’s monologue at the end as an audition piece. Plus! Plus! I use the “I find your work…” line all the time. One of the best comedic lines in a movie with tons of great one-liners. “I’ll be the victim!” “All your life”, “Is that your bathing suit?” “Is that your overbite?”, “And when they woke up the next morning, all of their old noses had grown back.” I want to watch it right now!

  3. B.E. Earl

    I’ll just ignore Supes for a moment here.

    Impressive list. Especially Martin Blank and Leeloo. But Mallory Knox? Really? To each his own, I guess. That’s why it’s called “your list”.

    Mine would probably have a few of the same characters. Maybe a few from The Big Lebowski as well. And Sam Elliot would definitely have to be in there somewhere, but which role? In honor of the passing of the Swayze, let’s go with Wade Garrett. Yeah.

  4. Ashleigh

    Ferris Bueller, Juno, Rachel Jansen, and Wednesday Addams are all awesome.
    My favorite Juno quote is the hasty abortion one. I feel the need to watch it now.
    But you left out my favorite Ferris quote: “Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you’d have a diamond.”
    Also very sad that Tyler Durden didn’t make the list.

  5. Grant

    Darth Vader, my childhood hero, should be on there way before Danny Ocean, as should Hannibal Lechter. Good call on Martin Blank, though. “I’m not married, I don’t have any kids, and I would blow your head off if someone paid me enough.”

  6. Maria

    Leon would definitely be on my list, not an honorable mention. But I totally agree with a lot of these.

    Is the Thomas Crown Affair any good? I’ve never seen it.

    I actually thought the Lelo picture was Lola from Run Lola Run and I had this whole story of how I dyed my hair to look like hers because she’s rad and then I realized it was Lelo, who is ALSO EXTREMELY AWESOME. The 5th Element is one of the most enjoyable movies of all time for me. I dunno why. It’s just so fun.

    Forgetting Sarah Marshall was one of the funniest movies I saw this year. Mila Kunis is adorable and gets way bonus points for being on Family Guy and in general being a dork. George says she plays World of Warcraft. She gets negative points for that.

    I really dig Juno. She makes me want to be 16 and pregnant. Almost. She gets negative points for the fact that all year after it came out all my fucking coworkers were like “Have you heard of this movie Juno because YOU ARE TOTALLY HER.” Because I guess sarcastic ladies had never existed on the screen before or maybe they were too young to know who Jeneane Garofolo is or something, but I’ll take it.


    • Avitable

      @Maria, The Thomas Crown Affair is catchy, light, and fun. You should check it out. Leon is a good character, and it was hard to bump him to #11. Lola is awesome – I’ve seen that movie a few times and love it! PS This comment was totally worth the wait. πŸ˜€

  7. Loukia

    Oh you also forgot to add Tony Montana! I think he is my all-time favourite. Maybe I shouldn’t actually list that on my blog, since I have a ‘nice mommy blog’ and it might scare people away? Or maybe I should just be more real. I’m sure my boys will think I’m way cooler when they grow up if they know Scarface is one of my favourite movies!

  8. Jay

    I really should read your blog last. I spend so much time reading all the comments that I don’t have time to read other blogs until later. Also, instead of reading other blogs I now want to go and make my own Top 10 list. This could also be done for characters in books. Although a lot of those books were also made into movies. And TV shows of course.

    Anyway, this is an awesome list. You can’t go wrong with any of them. And I agree that there is something appealing about Mallory Knox. Crazy chicks are always fun to hang out with.

  9. GrandeMocha

    I prefer John Cusack as Lloyd Dobler: I don’t want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don’t want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don’t want to do that.

  10. your list sucks ass!!!

    you fucking idiot you call this a list!!! Do you know what the word iconoic movie characters means you sorry excuse of a movie fan! Fucking Juno….you got to be kidding me, nobody’s going to remember that fucking movie 15 years from now let alone the Juno character you stupid piece of shit. Do you even know what the criterion to use for judging iconic character…how about the most important ones LASTING POWER and Influence. Meaning others mimick and parody them as well as remember them.

    Here are some REAL iconoic characters you stupid piece of shit:
    Marlon Brando – Godfather
    Robert DEniro – Taxi Driver
    Sylvester Stallone – Rocky
    Sylvester Stallone – Rambo

    You really are as DUMB as you LOOK!
    If you have balls post my crtique on your comments section unedited.

  11. Clown

    That was hilarious.
    It’s too bad the idiot didn’t read the intro and realize it’s not a list of the most iconic movie characters. The word iconic wasn’t even used anywhere!

    Honestly, that post sounds like it was written by a first year film student over at Full Sail or UCF.

  12. paul

    ok, your list is AWESOME and i still fanatasize about Uma and Leeloo ( together , of course ). You have to see Richard Dreyfus aka Trotter in Let It Ride ( check my email ), Steve Martin,to Shaldin – Carol Kane “you shouldn’t be in the frozen food section cause you could melt all this stuff” in My Blue Heaven and what about Al Pacino in almost anything, Spencer Tracy ( Old Man etc ) or Gene Hackman as Harry Caul? So many greats so few to a list, sigh. ps Thanks this was fun.

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