In honor of MLK Day, I’m rerunning last year’s interview with Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.:
Me: Thanks for agreeing to speak with me.
MLK: It’s my pleasure to have another chance to share my message of peace with the world.
Me: Can I call you Marty?
MLK: Excuse me?
Me: Marty – you know, your name? I mean, I have a Doctorate, too, so unless you want to call me Dr. Avitable and make me call you Dr. King, I think we can dispense with the formalities.
Me: Of course, Marty makes me think of Back to the Future and Marty McFly – can you imagine having your mom hit on you and making your family disappear?
Me: They don’t have movies in heaven? I’d think you’d have plenty of free time to catch all of the movies that come out now. Unless you’re actually in hell?
MLK: No, no. I just don’t trifle myself with cinema. We sit around and have hours of discourse on life and society and culture and other-
Me: And you strum your harps, blah blah blah.
MLK: You’re quite impudent.
Me: I’m just bored with your snootiness. You’re quite full of yourself for a-
MLK: For a black man? Did you just call me an uppity black man?
Me: I was going to say ghost. Jeez, jump to conclusions much?
MLK: I apologize. I know that you live in a time of racial harmony.
Me: Well, rap music is probably the only racial harmony around.
MLK: But a black man will be entering his given place in a large, secure government facility this year!
Me: Yeah, OJ got convicted, finally.
MLK: No, I’m saying that a black American is finally getting the recognition of the world and the total adoration and respect of most of its peoples.
Me: Oh yeah! Will Smith is one of my all-time favorite actors, too. Did you see Hancock?
MLK: I’m talking about the wonder of a world where an African American can appear on television and have millions of viewers tune in to hang on each and every word.
Me: Ohhh, you’re talking about Oprah! She gives away cars to her audience, so I think she bribes the viewers for all of that adoration.
MLK: Boy, are you addled in the head? Did you get kicked by a mule as a child?
Me: No, why?
MLK: You seem to be easily distracted and too focused on the tawdry world of entertainment and cinema instead of the real world. A young man such as yourself should be focusing on church, service to his community, church, raising a family, and spreading peace throughout the world.
Me: Wow. Preachy much?
MLK: Excuse me?
Me: I’m just saying – now you’re being a bit uppity.
You can read this interview and many more in my book, Interviews with Dead Celebrities, available at Amazon.com.