Avitable Interviews Dead Celebrities

Me and the good Doctor King

In honor of MLK Day, I’m rerunning last year’s interview with Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.:

"I will pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today."
I will pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.

Me: Thanks for agreeing to speak with me.

MLK: It’s my pleasure to have another chance to share my message of peace with the world.

Me: Can I call you Marty?

MLK: Excuse me?

Me: Marty – you know, your name? I mean, I have a Doctorate, too, so unless you want to call me Dr. Avitable and make me call you Dr. King, I think we can dispense with the formalities.

MLK: Ummm….

Me: Of course, Marty makes me think of Back to the Future and Marty McFly – can you imagine having your mom hit on you and making your family disappear?

MLK: What?

Me: They don’t have movies in heaven? I’d think you’d have plenty of free time to catch all of the movies that come out now. Unless you’re actually in hell?

MLK: No, no. I just don’t trifle myself with cinema. We sit around and have hours of discourse on life and society and culture and other-

Me: And you strum your harps, blah blah blah.

MLK: You’re quite impudent.

Me: I’m just bored with your snootiness. You’re quite full of yourself for a-

MLK: For a black man? Did you just call me an uppity black man?

Me: I was going to say ghost. Jeez, jump to conclusions much?

MLK: I apologize. I know that you live in a time of racial harmony.

Me: Well, rap music is probably the only racial harmony around.

MLK: But a black man will be entering his given place in a large, secure government facility this year!

Me: Yeah, OJ got convicted, finally.

MLK: No, I’m saying that a black American is finally getting the recognition of the world and the total adoration and respect of most of its peoples.

Me: Oh yeah! Will Smith is one of my all-time favorite actors, too. Did you see Hancock?

MLK: I’m talking about the wonder of a world where an African American can appear on television and have millions of viewers tune in to hang on each and every word.

Me: Ohhh, you’re talking about Oprah! She gives away cars to her audience, so I think she bribes the viewers for all of that adoration.

MLK: Boy, are you addled in the head? Did you get kicked by a mule as a child?

Me: No, why?

MLK: You seem to be easily distracted and too focused on the tawdry world of entertainment and cinema instead of the real world. A young man such as yourself should be focusing on church, service to his community, church, raising a family, and spreading peace throughout the world.

Me: Wow. Preachy much?

MLK: Excuse me?

Me: I’m just saying – now you’re being a bit uppity.

Me: Hello?

Me: Marty?

You can read this interview and many more in my book, Interviews with Dead Celebrities, available at Amazon.com.

Interviews with Dead Celebrities, a book by Adam Heath Avitable

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18 Replies to “Me and the good Doctor King”

  1. LeSombre

    In honor of your rerun, I’m rerunning a classic LeSombre comment originally submitted on 2007/03/28. 😉



    I come out of lurking, win a picture of your balls and you don’t move the comments? I’m sad.

    Congrats on the new home. Updating bookmarks now.

  2. Lin

    I really try to remember NOT to come to your blog when my six year old is in the same room. Only because I’m afraid of what picture might pop up. Today he saw MLK’s picture. Which made him want to try to read the words you had written. Thankfully he is not a strong reader (something I never thought I’d be thankful for until today. Maybe my boy is addled in the head.

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