This post is my 2,000th post. I have written over 800,000 words. You commenters have left almost 60,000 comments and written over 1.7 million words.
At first, I felt like this was a bit of an accomplishment. I mean, 2,000 isn’t something to scoff at! It shows dedication, and a work ethic and, most importantly, a case of diarrhea of the mouth. But man I was proud. Until I started thinking about it. How do you gauge your success as a blogger with a milestone like this? It’s easy when you turn a certain age to say “Well, Alexander the Great had conquered half other world by the time he was my age, so I’m obviously a complete failure.” But it’s not that easy to translate 2,000 blog posts into any type of measure of success without anything to which to compare it.
So I’ve decided to set up some milestones of my own for the future. This way, I can totally keep track of exactly how much of a failure I am!
By the time I’ve written . . . .
2,300 posts, I will have redesigned my blog.
2,500 posts, I will have finished writing my book.
3,000 posts, I will get 500 comments per post.
3,500 posts, I will get 500 sexual propositions per post.
4,000 posts, I will have my second book written and a movie deal for the first.
4,500 posts, I will have retired from blogging a multi-millionaire.
So, looks like you’d better enjoy me while you’re can – I’ll be gone in 7 short years!
Happy 2,000th post to me, and thank you to each of you who has read, commented, delurked, emailed, sent naked photos, named your babies after me, stalked me outside my window, and offered sexual favors in return for my artwork. I wouldn’t have gotten this far without each and every one of you.