Ten thousand years ago, Smith Magazine started “Six Word Memoirs“, when they asked famous authors to write . . . six. word. memoirs.
The popularity of this meme has ebbed and flowed, with people tweeting about them and books being published with them, etc., etc. But now that I’m talking about it, I expect there to be a massive groundswell of discussion, because I am a trendsetter. Or, in this case, a trend re-setter. Kind of like the rolled up sleeves. I’m totally bringing that back.
Here’s my six-word memoir:
Nude and hairless. Hairy and naked.
Have balls and choose to demonstrate.
Overthought myself into an early grave.
Here are the fictional six-word memoirs of some dead celebrities:
My proudest legacy is my boobs. -Anna Nicole Smith
Never met a stool I disliked. -Gary Coleman
Proud to be first second banana. -Ed McMahon
Loop. I’m caught in a time- -Roland the Gunslinger (I suspect I may have heard this one before, but can’t remember where.)
Happy, angry, angry, really angry, sad. -Anakin Skywalker
Too many junior bacon cheeseburgers. Urp. -Wendy
There’s nothing up my sleeve. Abracadabra. -Amelia Earhart.
I said I hated juice. JUICE. -Adolf Hitler
Brothers suck. And bang you’re dead. -Abel
Mess with my kid and die. -Jason Voorhees’s mom
Chestburst. Eat heads. Die by flamethrower. -Alien
Rescue Timmy. Rescue Timmy. Fuckin’ Timmy. -Lassie
Become butt of really bad jokes. -Christa McAuliffe
Shouldn’t memoir be pronounced “me” “moi”? -Mitch Hedberg
What would your six-word memoir be?