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The best wedding invitation ever

In the end of September, I’ll be flying up to Vermont to go to my cousin Dennis’s wedding. His fiancee is one of those creative types, and the invitation that she and her sister came up with is clever and cute and funny. In fact, I’d say it’s one of the best wedding invitations I’ve ever seen:

I know that the saying “Today I will be happier than a bird with a french fry” was adapted from something they saw online, but it just seems so very apt. It would be a faux pas for me to use it when I get married again and become Mr. Sarah Silverman, so I thought I’d come up with some other options for my future wedding invitations:

  • Before too long I can let myself go.
  • Our baby will be named “Shotgun Marital Bliss”.
  • Hear us say those two all-important words: Open Bar.
  • Ninjas couldn’t keep us apart.
  • Avitable 2: The Avitabling.
  • We make sickeningly cutesy nicknames and baby voices look good.
  • It rhymes with shmatrimony.
  • Smooch. Clink. Awww. Homina.
  • Thundercats Ho!
  • We invited our exes so expect some Jerry Springer shit to go down.
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54 Replies to “The best wedding invitation ever”

  1. nakedjen

    dude…i like collecting husbands (it’s my version of reverse polygamy and keeping everyone honest here in UTAH) and i love ALL of those. but i especially love that Jerry Springer shit. i swear to you if there’s a wedding in my future ever again i’m going to use it. Absofuckinglutely.

  2. Lisa

    I read the whole list but missed the ninjas line ’cause it’s 2am and I’m in a food coma so I was all “wait…no ninjas?” and aww, sad face. Then I read it again and was like “whew, he didn’t forget the ninjas!” because some things are sacred, like ninjas, and I promise never to food coma stream to consciousness comment again.

  3. Nenette

    Love the invite! So cute.
    I think that, for yours, “Ninjas couldn’t keep us apart” would be perfect. πŸ™‚

    I know this isn’t a pissing contest, but I think my invite is still the best ever if only for the fact that it mentions Caligula and Larry Flynt. πŸ™‚

  4. Grumble Girl

    That’s just delicious. Hope you have an excellent time… if the invitations are anything to go by, it WILL be a blast and a half. (Oh, and afterwards, you should just swing on up to Montreal for a visit. I’m just sayin’.)

  5. Faiqa

    That *is* a great invitation. I don’t even know them, but I’m excited for them because I think they’re invitation reflects that they care more about who they are and what they want than what people expect about marriage/weddings. Or, you know, they’re just very clever. Either way, me likey.

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