An article on MainStreet.com identified the 20 worst charities in America. The problem with this analysis is that it only focused on the overhead and how much of every dollar paid into the charity actually makes it into the hands of the intended recipients. I decided to do my own research and focus on the benefit to the recipients and the nature of the charity itself, and here are my findings of the 5 Worst Charities in America:
Established by a deposed Prince, the charitable foundation Restoring Nigerian Royalty provides a resource for the thousands of members of Nigerian royalty who have been removed from their thrones and forced to flee the country without the benefit of their legitimately earned wealth. While this charity purports to support the US economy by providing a percentage of all restored riches back into the currency flow, many fear that this may be too good to be true.
Personally overseen by Steve Jobs, iPhones for Tots is criticized greatly by Bill Gates and computer video game nerds across the country as creating mass baby addiction to Apple products before infants are even weaned off of breast feeding.
The Manhattan Executive Shelter uses all funds to create a safe place for unemployed executives, providing the bare minimum needed to survive. With a Swedish massage parlor, three indoor pools, a squash court, a five star restaurant, and underground car detailing service, this shelter allows executives to regain their bearing while enjoying the complementary pleasures they are used to receiving as executive perqs.
In the interest of maintaining and promoting the survival of the human race, The Darwin Project incorporates life-threatening activities into the daily lives of teens and adults who are randomly kidnapped from the streets of major cities across the country. Those who survive are provided lifelong health care.
The Self Esteem for Ugly Teens charity, sponsored by NAMBLA, states that its goal is to “Promote healthy feelings of adequacy and inner strength among teens who may feel like outcasts due to acne, obesity, or other maladies.” Using a detailed algorithm and matching system, each teen and pre-teen is assigned a specific pedophile, who will work with the teen over several weeks to build his or her self-esteem with activities such as “Telling the teen he’s so pretty while stroking his hair”, “Buying the teen concert tickets and asking for a hug” and “Come over here and sit on my lap while I brush your hair”.