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The 2010 Avitable Halloween Party

First!  Before you read, go see my guest post over at Backpacking Dad’s blog, where I profess my undying love for him.

Now, read:

While I’m sure it’s obvious, the reason that I haven’t mentioned the party until this late in the game is that it’s not happening this year.

There are several reasons, including the divorce and upheaval that’s happened over the last year, but in the end, every year it was becoming more and more stressful and less fun. I enjoy throwing the party for my friends, and I will continue the tradition next year with a new Halloween party, but having a year off to rest, figure out my life, and not build props from May until October, was really, really nice.

So what should you do for Halloween this year now that you’re disappointed, dejected, and your social calendar is empty?

  1. Watch “The Walking Dead” on AMC at 10 PM.
  2. Hand out razor blades with chocolate bars hidden inside.
  3. Start saving to fly out to Orlando for next year’s huge Avitable Halloween Party.
  4. Take your children out trick-or-treating.  If you don’t have kids, find some.
  5. Watch “The Walking Dead” on AMC at 10 PM.
  6. Wail and gnash your teeth about the lack of party this year while going through the old photos from the last four years worth of parties.
  7. Dress up as me and walk around asking children if they want candy.
  8. Decorate your house to look like an abandoned abortion clinic and jump out of the shadows dressed in bloody scrubs.
  9. Come to Orlando and hang out at my old house until my ex-wife calls the cops on you.
  10. Watch “The Walking Dead” on AMC at 10 PM.

But prepare yourself for the 2011 Halloween Party.  It’s going to be off da hook.

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83 Replies to “The 2010 Avitable Halloween Party”

  1. Poppy

    1./5./10. Watch “The Walking Dead” on AMC at 10 PM.

    I actually have a calendar reminder in both my email accounts reminding me to set up the recording for this. 🙂 🙂 🙂

    I was thinking of getting the ladies Chewbacca outfit from Yandy dot com and having my own Halloween party in the bedroom with Dawg.

  2. Lisa

    I’m sad that there’s no party this year, but I’m going to start saving for next year for sure. I’m glad you enjoyed the time to concentrate on you. I would have loved to see you and everyone else at a party this year, but watching your progress towards happiness (albeit from afar) is much better than a party.

  3. Dave2

    I was going to wail and gnash my teeth about the lack of party this year while going through the old photos from the last four years worth of parties… until I realized that I only went to the last THREE years worth of parties.

    And there it was. The cold reality that I missed the first Avitaween bash.

    Now I feel even worse than I did when I read there wasn’t going to be a party this year. Thanks a lot, fucker!!

  4. Mei

    * Dress your animals up in embarrassing outfits. Laugh and take their pictures. Post said pictures on the internet and hope that the animals are not actively plotting your demise.
    Or if your year is super shitty, hope that they are??

  5. Blondefabulous

    Ah… that takes the pressure off! I’m going to Halloween Horror Nights next weekend before the awesome “Welcome to Americus” dinner for DutchBitch. I’m sure I’ll just be shaking my head and thinking…. “Adam’s party was SOOOOOOO much better!”

  6. Faiqa

    Whatever. I still think you’re incredibly selfish for not doing this for your friends. I’m considering finding anew best friend who will prioritize my need for a Halloween party over recovering from a divorce….

  7. mapsgirl

    Well since you’re not having a Halloween party, are we to take the repetitive hints about watching Walking Dead that we’re invited to your house to watch?

    Cuz if I don’t get AMC here in Canada, I’m flying to your house… party or no party.

  8. The Demigod

    I kinda figured the jig was up this year. Which is a shame, considering I’m gonna be in Orlando around that time. C’est la vie.

    Hopefully next year my travel plans will let you have an international exchange gay from the Philippines in your party!

  9. Kris

    We’re not doing our haunted house this year either. It’s bittersweet. A lot of work but yes, we love doing it, but there’s no time, and then there’s the divorce in process… He’s only moved two doors down, so it would be nothing for him to come back and help, but the kids and I decided we’ll just keep it small and simple this year – decorate instead of doing the whole haunted house thing. Of course they’re already making up the story about how he disappeared in the last haunted house and was never found again, but perhaps his remains are in the basement. Or something. (Yes, I love my kids.)

    Relax and watch some tv this Halloween. I hear “The Walking Dead” will be on AMC at 10 p.m.

      • Kris

        @Avitable, Thanks. It is what it is. Good days, bad days – yesterday was our 15th anniversary. (He’s still not totally moved out.) Needless to say it was a tough day. Still…Halloween is my holiday and it’s hard to say “nope, we’re not doing it.”

        Perhaps I’ll still do my half-body hanging off the house and various body parts on the lawn.

  10. Sheila

    At first I thought you were going to announce that you were indeed going to throw an Avitaween bash this year and was getting ready to rip your face off since I haz no monies to fly to Orlando on such short notice.

    Then I thought you said you were only throwing a party for your friends and I was thinking “What the hell am I? Chopped liver?”

    Then I re-read it and said “Ohhhhhhhh!” But only in my head because I am not crazy.

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