Morality is subjective

That boy don’t look right.

Before I get into today’s post, I wanted to mention that today is the birthday of a good friend who is one of the sweetest people I know. Happy birthday, Angella!

Okay, now onto the post . . .

You know how, whenever there’s a shooting or a serial killing and the perpetrator is caught, there is always that inevitable video with the neighbor or friend who said “He was just such a nice boy. I had no idea he was capable of that”? I really think that the friends and neighbors of Jared Loughner, the alleged shooter in Arizona, should be arrested for aiding and abetting. How did they not know that this face was the face of a killer?

This guy just exudes EVIL. Even if you got rid of the shaved head and the obvious mugshot quality of the photo, he would still look evil. To prove that, I present:

Anything With Jared Loughner’s Evil Face Looks Evil!

Let’s start.  Dandelions are innocent.  They’re fluffy and make you think about running through fields with the love of your life, giggling and dancing, right?

WRONG!  IT’S AN EVIL DANDELION AND IT’S GOING TO KILL YOU!

Here’s a cute, innocent, fluffy little kitten, right?

INNOCENT MY ASS!  THIS KITTEN IS GOING TO FUCK YOUR SHIT UP!

Or what about this cute little baby ooh you wanna just pick him up and eat his face he’s so cute!

BUT NO.  WATCH OUT FOR EVIL BABY!

Actress and singer Kristin Chenoweth is just as cute as a button and wouldn’t harm an eensy tensy fly . . .

OR MAYBE SHE’D MURDER THAT FLY IN ITS SLEEP!

Jesus would never kill anyone, right?  I mean, he’s Jesus!

OH NO RUN! IT’S JESUS AND HE’S HERE TO KILL US!

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71 Replies to “That boy don’t look right.”

  1. Gemma.

    Hey, I read your blog often and this sickens me to the stomach. I thought you were going to be serious about this Arizona shooting not be so utterly disrespectable. And being a Christian I was deeply offended by that picture of Jesus. Until I get a reply from you saying why you felt the need to do that I’m no longer Reading the blog.

  2. Wendy S.

    Oh, the face of “evil” is always lurking around. Actually, “Jared” reminds me of “Uncle Fester” from “The Addam’s Family” and I hear the theme song when I look at him. I especially get creeped out when I look at the kitten with his face as I have two beloved cats…Now, I’ll be up all night wondering what nefarious plots they’re planning.

  3. Sheila

    Actually, I haven’t heard *any* of his neighbors talk about what a sweet kid he was or how the never expected something like this to happen…..everything I’ve heard was “Yeah – he was a loner” or “We’d see him sometimes, walking his dog down the street but he always had his hood up and his iPod on”.

    Even his friends thought he was creepy!

    I agree with Wendy’s “Uncle Fester” but I also get Sloth from the Goonies.

    Heeeeey you guuuuuuuys! ::bam bam bam bam:: Mwahahahahaha! I bet he was all “Keep the change, you filthy animal.”

  4. Bob "Pappy" Richardson

    Funniest thing since the since the World Trade Center dude showing up everywhere. So that shows how much I really need to get out and explore the world. This guy could be an all new World Trade Center dude. I could see his face at all kinds of disasters, Nazi rallies … etc.

  5. PottyMouthMommy

    Thank you for giving me nightmares!! While I’m still f’n AWAKE!!!

    *shudder*

    I will never look at kittens or babies the same again… Dandelions can all DIE!! Unfortunately now, they will have the last laugh by creeping me right the hell out before I weedex them!

  6. Tiffany

    You successfully managed to make Jesus and Kristin Chenoweth look like crack whores. I’m still trying to figure out how I missed that Jesus F’ing Christ post… I’m sure they have a special place in hell for people like me who laugh at pictures like that.

  7. jennamom

    In all seriousness, I cannot look at that guy’s mug shot without going “Daa da da duh (snap snap) They’re creepy and they’re kooky, mysterious and spooky” etc. *shudder* And that’s just disturbing because there’s really nothing funny about him. Uncle Fester, on the other hand, was a funny dude. Asshole has ruined the Addams Family for me forever.

  8. Colleen

    I never would have believed a dandelion could look so evil. I always kind of liked that fluffy little weed… now I’m going to be slightly worried that those little puff balls are just lurking around waiting to get me.

    I have to be honest for a moment and say that I’m just so very relieved that you didn’t take Angella’s photo and change her into pure creepy. She really is much much much to sweet for that.

    Happy Birthday Angella!!!!!

  9. Terreece

    THIS is hilarious. You might be my new best friend, because I swear I talk about stuff like this all the time and only my real friends – also known as people who are a little off – get me. I don’t have the photoshop visuals though, that might help, because without the imagination evil kitty doesn’t quite translate….

    Anyway, thanks for the laugh!

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