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If you’re going to stalk me, do it right!

If you’re there, you must be aware;
That you’re in the land of Avitable.
I like to swear in my underwear;
And nudity is inevitable.

And it’s rare that I’m not prepared;
With a daily post that’s available.
But if you care, when I’m elsewhere,
My writing is discoverable.

I like to share my daily fare
On Tumblr. It’s subscribable.
I get on tears where I declare
Grievances that’re Tweetable.

I split hairs and, well, overshare
On Facebook, if you’re friendable.
And in my chair is from where
I write all that is writable.

But beware! I have a lair
Where I write things indescribable.
I have a flair for extraordinaire,
MoxieBird’s where I tend to babble.

If you stare at my receding hair,
And want it to be quite tangible.
FL’s where I place my derriere,
In Altamonte Springs I’m findable.

Not debonair, showing a pair
Of testicles that are admirable
I’ll be aware of your creepy stare
Here in the land of Avitable.

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15 Replies to “If you’re going to stalk me, do it right!”

  1. Bossy

    You are far from lame
    Leave the rest of us in shame
    Put your wherewithal to rhyme
    A better man it’s hard to find
    Glad to know that you’re a friend
    Find your comments ’round the bend
    And when you’re up for best blog
    We’ll all vote for you whole hog
    Love, Bossy

  2. thepsychobabble

    How did you know? When I found out I was unemployed, I turned to the husband and said, “Well, at least I have more time to stalk Avitable now!”*

    Also? This entire post is made of WIN.

    *this may not be entirely true.

  3. Rawshull

    congratulations on corrupting an “innocent 13 year old”!! (hey wait, I’m 15 asswipe!) Just thought you should know that this poem is an insult to all english literature….I approve!!!
    You live in Altamonte Springs?? Well shit. I’m glad I don’t live in Oviedo anymore. Seeing your face in real life would give me nightmares.
    …JK!!! I love this blog. It’s filled with all of the things my mother wants me to stay away from. HOORAY!

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